The (Mis)Interpretation of Lucid Dreams

Before movie reviewers and armchair experts convince you that the recent Sci-fi action thriller, INCEPTION, is a story that most Indian viewers have found difficult to understand, let me assure you, that it is not so. It is amazing how youngsters are influenced by columnists and bloggers these days and wear the puzzled look like the latest cosmetic fad – coming out with a sulky face with question marks written all over implying they haven’t understood the plot! The truth is that there are as many versions of the story as viewers of this mind-boggling blockbuster.

For those who haven’t watched the movie – it is about how to steal business secrets by going off to sleep and entering competitor’s dreams to find what’s in his subconscious mind and what plans and fears reside there. Then there is a plot to plant an idea in his mind. An idea, we’re told is as potentially dangerous (or was it helpful?) as a virus, bacteria or superbug like NDM-1 or a New Delhi Minister.

Being privileged to mingle with government officials of the central, state and local municipal bodies, dealing with some of the scores of indirect taxes levied in our country, one found that prime-time activities in these offices included discussing how completely they understood the movie. After being offered free tickets by their assessee firms, they confirmed how completely they could understand and identify with the new professional heist who “steal dreams“, for a living!

“In totem” they said! Maybe they meant “in toto”.

Once back in my office, I began to wonder, what is it, that they would have liked about the movie? For one, it could be the profession of the protagonist, Dom Cobb, an “extractor of dreams”, may have had many similarities with theirs. To begin with, both enjoyed the perks of sleeping on their job! With a lucrative offer from warring business barons, Cobb designed joint-dreaming, sort of like team-work. Ditto in Government offices, one learnt.

Secondly, the more the team dreamt together, more were the chances of extraction - of real-life moolah, of course. So as not to provide spoilers, one would not elaborate how it worked with the on-screen characters, but let me tell you in real life – the longer one slept on an application of urgent requirement of the enterprise wanting to capture the universe with its aggressive business expansion plans, the better the prospects of “extraction”.

Thirdly, if one who has ever been assigned setting up manufacturing operations by getting government clearances, would have experienced sleepless nights and constant daymares, which are difficult to come out of - without a kick(back). All that these wonderful folks could not understand was the need to transgress into dreams?

Such sufferers of lack of sleep may find their way to mendicants handing out potions to induce slumber, very much like Cobb’s team in the movie. Having tried several pills, my professional friends with similar predicaments, recently invited me to deliver a lecture on such mundane subjects as coping with the professional hazards that one often found daunting to overcome in our trade. It was not long before one learnt that none of the participants really wanted to learn any new trick that one may have up one’s sleeve, but that my delivered lecture had all the qualities of the best sedative to put one to the deepest of sleeps possible under the given circumstances for the sleep-deprived brethren, whose projects are always “IN LIMBO” like the deepest dreams in the movie.

One also encountered a completely different view-point from friends, who felt that our local film industry, popularly known as Bollywood, would have done greater justice to the plot! One would have witnessed several romances, once one gets into someone else’s dreams, which could inevitably culminate in lavish marriage ceremonies breaking out into a mass hysterical song and dance sequence, in which one could wed partners of your choice, without really upsetting the reality carts in the real-life world. There is a distinct possibility of “projected characters”, usually in the form of ex-lovers, could fight over the bride at the ceremonial occasion in various joint dreams. The music rendered for the production could be a heist of a kind - although without really having to enter anyone’s dreams. Heists of different hues are, one would bet, debating the need to put one to sleep to enter their dreams, when the preferred modus operandi was to do it in broad daylight under the very eyes of the vigilante forces and concerned activists in public life over a cup of high tea.

Blogger’s Postscript: 1. Inspite of the attempt to convey the meaning of this post to all readers including those who haven’t watched the movie - INCEPTION, it may be a good idea to watch the movie and though, I cannot guarantee that you will understand the plot in the movie, but you will certainly appreciate this post a wee bit better.

2. Then there is this piece i read today in Bombay Times supplement of TOI by Nikhat Kazmi, which may contain spoilers.

The Meter Jam Campaign

I have always been wondering whether commuters can demonstrate their ire against errant auto-rickshaw and taxi drivers for refusing to ferry us to the destinations of our choice. Recently I promised a friend to visit him after my office hours to return a book I had borrowed from him. I was refused by no less than 15 autorickshaw drivers to ply to that destination. I called him up and expressed my regret. May be some other day, I assured him.

On another instance, I was with my wife wanting to return home from our shopping expedition, when the same happened. This time around a friendly Traffic cop asked us to get into the next rickshaw that arrived and told us we ought to tell them to take us wherever we want them to go and not ask them whether they would go! It worked. But I just wondered whether if not for his presence, whether our insistence would work? When I tried it out again – it didn’t! I had to get off huffing and puffing at the adamant guy.

When I received some email forwards providing the web-links to the Traffic Police sites where complaints of such nature (including higher fares etc) could be entered for them to take action against errant licensed auto-rickshaws and taxis.

Here are the links:
For Mumbai

For Thane Area

For Navi Mumbai Area

But frankly I did not try them out. Often I foun that these guys cruise past you at a quick pace making it difficult for you to note down their vehicle numbers! We need to hail them to a halt and get in and note down their number before leaving in future!

So one keeps wondering what can we harassed commuters do if the dadagiri-attitude of the licensed service providers continues unabated?

The recent initiative by Three advertising professionals Jaidev Rupani, Rachna Brar and Abhilash Krishnan, by launching the "Meter Jam" campaign on Wednesday is an answer to this question on every Mumbaikar’s mind.

Do read about the Meter Jam campaign in the links below:

Article in Hindustan Times

The Website of Meter Jam Campaign

Facebook Page

and Twitter Page

Do join the Meter Jam campaign – I am certain it is only the beginning – a good one at that – though there is lots to do - perhaps an extended and intensive campaign - to get what we deserve – a better life in Maximum City!

The C-Words of the day!

The Common Wealth Games 2010 to be hosted in New Delhi, our capital, brings into focus some aspects of India that concern the common citizen of the country – the Big Cs that threaten to engulf our nation – Corruption, Carelessness, Callousness, Compromise! The TV cameras are concentrating on Calmadi (sorry, Kalmadi) ever since the allegations made by channels about rampant corruption in handing out contracts is being aired.

While it is too early to comment about the corruption charges levelled against the Committees entrusted with the construction of stadia, the general reaction is to believe that cash has (Read: Crores have) been made in the awarding of construction contracts! The common man finds it convenient to believe that corruption in such projects is the norm rather than the exception. Why are we such harsh critics of ourselves, one wonders?

But this post is not about the singular Big C – Corruption, which has pervaded our landscape and spread like Cancer - but several others like Carelessness and Callousness. Channels have highlighted the slipshod work carried out like the open electrical wires, which could be a safety hazard for those planning to grace the sporting events scheduled there in October this year.

Even the work related to the profiling of visitors and related security measures to prevent terrorist attacks are behind schedule and may need to be circumvented if the games are to proceed as scheduled, if newspaper reports are to be believed. This means we would have compromised on the security measures as well!

One would have hoped for the hosting of the Commonwealth Games 2010, would have promoted camaraderie amongst participating nations and boosted competitiveness amongst citizens of participating countries rather than the wrong C’s becoming the Central focus! Yes, like Good Cholesterol, there are Good C's too! One can only pray and hope that there is no commotion and the event will be remembered more as a Celebration than a Calamity!

Blogger’s Post-script - If we cerebrate for a moment, the aforesaid Cs are part and parcel of everyday life of our countrymen – but let us concentrate on the Common Wealth Games for now and leave the other manifestations of the Cs for another post – or perhaps, a Book of epic proportions!

Now you too can 'Palinate' !

It sounds like an English word, but isn’t one, proclaimed one and all, when Sarah Palin uttered the hitherto unknown word “refudiate”.

Sarah promptly urged her followers on Twitter, to celebrate the formation of a new word, instead of mocking at her gaffe, pointing out how even William Shakespeare loved to coin new words thus.
“English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!”

One wonders how the world reacted when Shakespeare coined ‘lonely’ in a world that only recognised ‘alone’. They probably had been the well-known bard to do what he was best at – to coin new words. Here is a list of words coined by Shakespeare which are today part of every English speaker’s vocabulary.

The press instead compared her slip of the tongue to the recent Bushisms that we had been treated to not in the distant past. So Sarah was, in a sense ‘misunderestimated’ - to borrow George Bush’s coinage, another word having originated under similar circumstances. Since Bushisms cover a wide range of oral goof-ups, maybe we ought to have a new word for the phenomenon of creating a new word, unintentionally, lets dedicate it to Sarah Palin and call it

“Palinate - v. to palinate – to unintentionally create new words”

But then, we all do use words that don’t exist in the dictionary, knowingly or unknowingly. You may be aware of the vastly common word used by Indians – “prepone”, which incidentally does not exist! Now this word makes a lot of sense and ought to shake away its “non-word” tag to enter all dictionaries right-away. If putting of a meeting is postponed, advancing one ought to be preponed, what say?

While language critics have posted online messages rubbishing Palin’s comparing her coinage to that of Shakespeare, who coined words with distinctly different meaning, unlike her Freudian formation. So a word like ‘prepone’ not only score over refudiate, in that it conveys the intention and have a distinct logical meaning.

And while we used to always get invitations for events, we now begin getting an ‘invite’. “Didn’t you get my invite?” I am asked, to which I cannot resist the temptation to reply, “Anyway, I am busy and would have sent you my ‘refuse’, in any case!” If ‘my invite’ s OK, “my refuse” got to be OK, I guess!

Troubled by the question about “when does a word really become a word”, I had posed this question to the well-known Anu Garg, founder of “Wordsmith.org”, whom I had met during his visit to Mumbai.

A word, according to him becomes a word, the moment it is formed – there is no need for it to enter a dictionary, which it will eventually do if the word is in use reasonably frequently by well-known publications.

Lexicographers have their own standards for admitting words into their dictionaries, but they all need the word to be widely used. But celebrities appearing on media channels have a special charm – Sarah Palin’s word ‘refudiate’ made it to the online Urban Dictionary in a matter of days!

“Refudiate: A term used to indicate the underlying racism of the speaker. If you as a racist need another group to give up their culture you ask that group to refudiate their beliefs and culture. Users of this term reject the English language, facts, rationalism and black people.” Sarah Palin asked NY Muslims to "refudiate" their mosque near the 9/11 WTC site.

You can even print a T-shirt and have a mug with this creation on it here!

Writers are not so lucky, though. They’ve got to coin it and then even popularise it before their coinage is acknowledged and widely used for this purpose. Though I have been able to publish my own coined word, “predictament” – a predicament to predict - in my blog and my recent article in the Times of India, the word will need wider usage and more appearances, before it enters a dictionary. Do let me know if you find it in a dictionary you use!

Blogger’s Post-scripts:

1. 1. Sarah Palin’s popularity in India was soaring in late 2008, but was shocked to see a restaurant serve Palin Dosa! Read about it in my post “Palin Talk” here.

2. Regular readers of my blog would be aware of my penchant for new words. But for those of you who aren’t may want to read the following posts.

A million words.

Words of the Year 2008

Words of the Year 2009

Aur Kya, Pak?

So after all the best efforts from our side, Aman ki Asha has turned into a Nirasha. I am saying ‘our side’ because I am not sure about the other side. In the past several months, columnists and bloggers have been debating over how to deal with our wayward neighbouring state, which has gone from strength to super-strength in the field of new-age worldwide terrorism – from setting up training camps to nurturing masterminds drawn from military bodies to plan and execute terrorist attacks on innocent civilians and yet escape from international action of the UN, by calling them actions of “non-state actors”!

This ‘non-state actors’ card of Pak, put us Indians in a dharma-sankat of sorts. How can any country fight another, if their home-grown, but not state-sponsored mind you - terrorist outfits - act spontaneously and attack innocent people in other countries? It would need to distinguish between the people of that country from the unlawful terrorist outfits thriving therein. Wont they? While some of us have been insisting that dialogues with Pakistan must continue, others have been sceptical about the “lets talk” proposal, demanding tougher options and discarding it as a sign of weakness.

Some have argued that when we say we must talk, does not mean we must speak “sweet nothings”, but instead talk – talk tough – demand action on terrorists – put a stop to the only visible exports from that country – of fully trained, highly motivated, trigger-happy jihadi youngsters, who have no other options to earn a living. So that is what most of those who wanted talks wished the negotiating team to do – talk tough!

“Stop it – or else…….” Or else, what, one wonders?

Reminds me of a joke about a Texan cowboy who rode on his horse to a wayside inn for a drink and meal and then went off to sleep. When he woke up, he found that his horse had been stolen! He climbed to the rooftop of the wayside inn, fired a round into the sky and shouted “Hey listen you guys! If you don’t return my horse, I will do, what I did in Texas!”.
Nobody turned up with his horse. After delivering the threat on a higher pitch couple of times, he returned to his seat to find the owner of the Inn waiting to ask him “What did you do in Texas, Sir?” “Well” he replied, pulling his hat over his face, “I walked back home!”.

Our situation is no different. We want them to sit up and listen and to take action on what they call ‘non-state actors’. But how committed are they to do it? If the leads from the investigation of David Coleman Headley, were to be believed, we could now say that the officials of the ISI were involved in the terrorism attack on Mumbai. If this is proved….hey wait, but Pakistan will demand evidence - something that their eyes are not designed to spot, even if it were to stare in their face…. that would mean they also have “State Actors” playing along “Non-State Actors”!

Indians will have debates, more debates, talks, and more talks. Some experts are still saying we should continue to have people to people contacts. Sure we can continue our pak-pak, as we usually do over cellphones - never hang up and ask “Aur kya?”, "Aur bata" - It will keep us talking forever!

So there you are –
Pak has “Non-state actors” and “State actors”
India has “State non-actors” and “Non-State non-actors”!
And Pak knows that!

Blogger’s Post-script – Like the remaining Billions of Indians, yours truly is equally at his wits’ end about how to deal with Pak. Without really wanting to hurt any of those, who think they know, of course!

My Paulished ArticKle in TOI

Last week witnessed an electrifying finish to the FIFA world cup spectacle, which was held in South Africa. Though India does not figure anywhere on the football playing countries’ map, there were pockets of passionate footballers and enthusiasts following the games at SA. Twitter and Facebook was also abuzz with the goings on – the teams they backed, the players they pinned their hopes on, etc.

But the real fun tweeple were having, clearly, was posting humorous lines about the Vuvuzela, Shakira’s Waka Waka and Psychic Paul, the celebrity octopus, who predicted accurately the winner of Germany’s games, the semis and the finals! For a writer or blogger, looking out for a subject to write about forms the biggest challenge and online networking sites give us some of the masala to mull about. Soon ideas took shape and I found myself able to weave together some word-plays, humorous propositions, were Psychic Paul to accept offers to come to India!



I sent in my submission on Saturday 10th July and on Sunday, I was overjoyed to get a response from the TOI editorial staff that my articKle would be published soon.

If you have not yet read my humorous piece published in the Times of India on Tuesday, 13th July 2010, (now that was real quick) do read it by clicking on the link below:

Chasing the Oracle

I would like to share with you some of the lines edited by the TOI editorial team due to its Hindi content:

1. Paul, don’t think you are “Paul do Paul ka Mahir” and that you will go into oblivion after the FIFA finals, you could make it to the IIFA next year. From FIFA to IIFA!

2. Get on from singing “Paul bhar ke liye koi hame pyaar kar le, jhootha hi sahi” and make your moves to your rightful place in Bollywood.

3. dance with your co-stars around plastic trees to the tunes of Ashtam-da, or at least that is what the industry will call him after the release of the film.

4. Phillumy people will say “Atthon ungliyaan ghee mein aur sar kadhai mein”


Blogger’s Post-Scripts (usually containing more stuff than the post itself):
1. Paul may just be available to our folks interested in Astrological predictions but then he may call himself Be-bhaan Aath-pav-wala to give Bejaan Daruwala, who turned 80 last weekend, a run for his money. Or being attributed to Psychic powers may also mean he dons saffron robes and call himself Paul-Anand baba and build an ashram to serve his followers.

2. My friends were equally creative in their feedback, one of them reminded me how I had missed mentioning the MET department – to which I respond – I did not forget them – they were victims of paucity of print space (word limits, you see).

3. Another picked up the thread from my piece and wrote in to tell me that my article was “well-written in a Paulished language”. Thanks, buddy for getting the beat right! And also to a fellow blogger, who renamed me ‘Paulikar’ for this moment, atleast.

4. Thanks to all my friends, who sent in encouraging words of appreciation by SMSes, emails, calls…

5. Thanks TOI for picking my article and understanding the topicality of the subject!

6. Finally, I cant forget to thank Psychic Paul, the Octopus, for finally giving me a gr8 subject to write about, can I? !!!!!!!!

Jargonic Park

"Would you please bring me upto speed on this?”, asked a colleague in a separate one-on-one mail to me. Not able to grasp what he sought from me, I called up another colleague who interacts with him regularly. “Oh, he just wants you to provide the background of the matter and what all those chain of mails really mean since he’s unable to figure it out”, he explained to me. In today’s corporate communications, one man’s simplicity seems to be another man’s maze of incomprehensible buzzwords.

While this fact seeker was out of touch on project updates, I was out of touch with communication trends - it is not uncommon to find office goers lost in the maze of corporate jargon. English speaking Institutes may have mushroomed for those who have been through vernacular medium schools, but what would you suggest a convent educated, urban youngster boasting of a good English medium education, when he flounders at corporate discussions, often held across continents, each participant offering a diverse variety of pronunciation, accents and intonations? Of course, those seeking jobs in voice-based BPOs (call centres) are required to undertake specialized courses on American English to cater to customers in USA.

One then braves the conference calls, and as time elapses, begins to get used to the different oratory flavors, but what about the business phrases, fresh from the corporate ovens, that are hurled at you all so often? One may have pitched his best to be in the loop on the subject, but you may still have to hold teleconference calls across continents to make sure that everybody is on the same page. One cannot assume everyone to possess the bandwidth or be able to process the thought showers contained in office emails – a post-lunch conference to thrash out the contents the way, going forward, in most progressive organization that believe in object-oriented knowledge transfers adopting the best practices in the industry.

One calls for a paradigm shift, wanting to be proactive and revisit these phrases and chalk out an action plan. The post-lunch conference comprises of the very few with a bird’s eye view, which is now known by a certain flying height of 30000 feet or so of late. Being goal-oriented and result-focussed, they constantly think out of the box – often the cranial one though, to push the envelope and propose such measures as “360 degree performance measurement” of all initiatives to “invent real-time ecosystems” or to “evolve the necessary hyper dynamics” or “to synthesize extensible networks”.

If after substantial efforts, if success continues to elude them, one quickly looks for low hanging fruits. While these distinguished high flying head honchos keep hurling such urban inanities, the young just-out-of-management-school newcomers often appear seriously making notes of what needs to be done. A keen eye, however, would stumble upon the discovery of a corporate game resembling housie or lotto, in which boring numbers give way to bizarre corporate lingo. "Going forward - haa - i have that now i just need someone to say at the end of the day"

Those facing such colleagues armed with such corporate astras are advised not to develop any animosity to such lingoistic weapons that are meant to demolish your confidence or to sort out the truly deserving from the professionally qualified promoters of self-image with their liberal garnishing in what would have been a boring office meeting!

Developing an allergy to such modern-day terms is harakiri - professional suicide. One is advised to seek professional help from those that excel at this game within or outside one’s organisation, until a good institute springs up around every street corner to help folks like you and me to master the game and set our foot higher on the corporate ladder. It would be wise to gather some astras such as acronyms, that don’t throw up on search engines or technical terms that your colleagues from diverse functions are least expected to know, which may be hurled back at an opportune moment in your career. Or better still invent them!

At the end of the day, every employee wants to leverage their skill-sets and contribute their two darts towards effective corporate communications.