Jargonic Park

"Would you please bring me upto speed on this?”, asked a colleague in a separate one-on-one mail to me. Not able to grasp what he sought from me, I called up another colleague who interacts with him regularly. “Oh, he just wants you to provide the background of the matter and what all those chain of mails really mean since he’s unable to figure it out”, he explained to me. In today’s corporate communications, one man’s simplicity seems to be another man’s maze of incomprehensible buzzwords.

While this fact seeker was out of touch on project updates, I was out of touch with communication trends - it is not uncommon to find office goers lost in the maze of corporate jargon. English speaking Institutes may have mushroomed for those who have been through vernacular medium schools, but what would you suggest a convent educated, urban youngster boasting of a good English medium education, when he flounders at corporate discussions, often held across continents, each participant offering a diverse variety of pronunciation, accents and intonations? Of course, those seeking jobs in voice-based BPOs (call centres) are required to undertake specialized courses on American English to cater to customers in USA.

One then braves the conference calls, and as time elapses, begins to get used to the different oratory flavors, but what about the business phrases, fresh from the corporate ovens, that are hurled at you all so often? One may have pitched his best to be in the loop on the subject, but you may still have to hold teleconference calls across continents to make sure that everybody is on the same page. One cannot assume everyone to possess the bandwidth or be able to process the thought showers contained in office emails – a post-lunch conference to thrash out the contents the way, going forward, in most progressive organization that believe in object-oriented knowledge transfers adopting the best practices in the industry.

One calls for a paradigm shift, wanting to be proactive and revisit these phrases and chalk out an action plan. The post-lunch conference comprises of the very few with a bird’s eye view, which is now known by a certain flying height of 30000 feet or so of late. Being goal-oriented and result-focussed, they constantly think out of the box – often the cranial one though, to push the envelope and propose such measures as “360 degree performance measurement” of all initiatives to “invent real-time ecosystems” or to “evolve the necessary hyper dynamics” or “to synthesize extensible networks”.

If after substantial efforts, if success continues to elude them, one quickly looks for low hanging fruits. While these distinguished high flying head honchos keep hurling such urban inanities, the young just-out-of-management-school newcomers often appear seriously making notes of what needs to be done. A keen eye, however, would stumble upon the discovery of a corporate game resembling housie or lotto, in which boring numbers give way to bizarre corporate lingo. "Going forward - haa - i have that now i just need someone to say at the end of the day"

Those facing such colleagues armed with such corporate astras are advised not to develop any animosity to such lingoistic weapons that are meant to demolish your confidence or to sort out the truly deserving from the professionally qualified promoters of self-image with their liberal garnishing in what would have been a boring office meeting!

Developing an allergy to such modern-day terms is harakiri - professional suicide. One is advised to seek professional help from those that excel at this game within or outside one’s organisation, until a good institute springs up around every street corner to help folks like you and me to master the game and set our foot higher on the corporate ladder. It would be wise to gather some astras such as acronyms, that don’t throw up on search engines or technical terms that your colleagues from diverse functions are least expected to know, which may be hurled back at an opportune moment in your career. Or better still invent them!

At the end of the day, every employee wants to leverage their skill-sets and contribute their two darts towards effective corporate communications.

The Power of a Smile!

This post has been written in response to Corinne Rodrigues’ appeal to participate in her blog hop on the occasion of “The Power of a Smile” day on 15th June 2010. Other bloggers are requested to submit their entries if they wish to participate.

Whenever I return from my office, I find several kids playing in and around the building having fun and are all smiles. One look at them and they are so generous with their 1000-Watt smiles. I have been staying at this place for over the last couple of decades and have seen these kids growing up from infants to toddlers to hyperactive school-going kids. Never have I been deprived of what I am looking for – some smiles. These smiles have been the best stress-buster for me after a day’s work. I collect them like some people collect coins or postage stamps. They work wonders!

Soon these kids will grow up and stop smiling at me – they will appear business like. Like the ones that have already grown up and are now college-going teenagers or have graduated and have taken up jobs somewhere in this busy metropolitan megacity of Mumbai. One wonders what they will think now? Why am I staring at them expectantly? Maybe, but I continue to look, wonder whether my smile will tell them or at least drop a hint…that I was just looking for the same old kid that would readily oblige me with a smile, some years ago.

I have nothing to worry, though - I will make new friends who smile at me even though they don’t know me or about my hobby of collecting smiles to relieve my stress. Nature will surely oblige, I am sure of it! The eternal optimist in me assures myself of unlimited supply of newer kids and newer smiles! But one still wonders – why do we stop or at least limit our smiling as we grow up? Why do we hoard this precious commodity and create a global shortage which cannot be exchanged with money, gold or bartered with some other like goods?

Did he/she not read that email forward which told us about how a smile takes lesser muscles than a frown? Am I becoming more like the common man in the RK Laxman cartoon, who apparently seems not to be around and yet all over the place trying to figure out what’s going on?

A smile certainly means a lot more once you grow up! I learnt this from my boss, a professional Materials Manager of a reputed organization some years ago. He would smile at one and all with the same ease and warmth. Everyone would like it – his colleagues, his juniors, our vendors, our bosses. It was at a farewell function, when I left the organization when I mentioned about his great quality, that he told us as to what great pains he had to take to ensure that the distance between the corner of the curled lips from the ears had to be painstakingly maintained lest someone think he favoured any particular vendor! That’s when all of us were in splits laughing at his presence of mind at cracking this masterpiece at us!

Certain professions, it is believed, have to check on their act of smiling – like Judges, Principals, Executioners, etc. A smile at the wrong place could jeopardize their career! But lighter moments do descend upon courtrooms, but, sadly not so the executioners. A recent incident of a smile that brought upon immense pain, was when SPS Rathore smiled at the court ruling in his favour! Little would he have imagined that the father of the victim (Ruchika Girhotra) would object and cry on national TV demanding to wipe out the smile on the face of their tormentor for decades! A demand that woke up the national media and gave the protest the much needed booster dose and millions sought justice for Ruchika, spearheaded by her close friend, Aradhana!

Another recent incident I would like to cite is the victory of Trinamool Congress in West Bengal – Mamata Bannerji was highly charged that evening when Rajdeep Sardesai asked her several probing questions about her fire-brand variety of politics, but she never smiled. Not even when Rajdeep requested her to! But then politicians are a different breed...

Some people say I post humorous stuff on my blog, forward funnies sent to me on email, tell jokes for the smiles. That may not be entirely correct – those are for the laughs - the Laughing Out Louds (LOLs), and for some, a physical exercise regime is limited to Rolling on the Floor Laughing (ROFL)s! Not smiles. It is a lot more difficult to bring on smiles. Can we bring on the smiles on the faces of people who are suffering, neglected, deprived, I ask myself? But there are folks amongst us who are doing just that - so when I find some people do just that, I feel like just a small being on this planet - I feel like someone who set out to tickle everyone and got tickled in the process!

Recycle! Recycle!

I am soaking in the Greens..."Recycle, Reuse, Reduce" is the Mantra.
So let me give in to the need of the hour and Recycle my posts.

Let me force feed you "ArTickles" addicts to my interview on WebNeetech.com website by posting the text here. Now stop howling for more... i am likely to be tied up with my office work for a fortnight and cant think up any funnies because my head is cluttered with only one word - Deadlines! And Dead Lines, i know wont interest you guys... so just read this crap below:


Interview with blogger Gopinath Mavinkurve
19 November 2009 3 Comments
“Humor is the rubber sword with which I can make my point without drawing blood”
- Gopinath Mavinkurve

The Text begins here:
So here is our one of the most experienced blogger on webneetech.com, Gopinath Mavinkurve, 52, a Management Professional runs Gopinath’s “ArTicKles“. The blog is filled with his thought, observation and many good opinions too.He posts humorous write ups on his blog and makes his point in his own funny way.
The blog was started in 2008 and receives around 1500 views a month.
Read the exclusive interview with Mr. Gopinath, to know more about him and his experience as a blogger.

Blogger’s Details:
Blogger’s Name: Gopinath Mavinkurve
Age: 52
Occupation / Profession: Management Professional in the field of Foreign Trade especially EOU/SEZ, export facilitation, Government liaisoning and logistics working for an MNC in Mumbai
Blog name and URL: http://whatnonsanz.blogspot.com/
Blog Focus Area, domain: humorous observations, insights, comments about incidents, issues, current happenings, lifestyle and language trends, word origins, anecdotes, interesting trivia, personal experiences
Blog launched on: 10th April 2008
Monthly visits on website: About 1500
Do you have team of bloggers? No.
Interest / Activities: Reading newspaper columns, books magazines and blogs; writing; tourism and photography; music and movies are my hobbies
Located at: Mumbai India
Contact Details:
Twitter Id: @gopinathmm
Facebook Id: Gopinath_Mavinkurve
Email ID: g_mavinkurve@hotmail.com

THE Interview (Q&A Round) :

Q. What motivated you to start blogging?
Well I never wanted to blog nor did I really know what it was to be blogging. I just wanted to revive my writing habit and began posting my write-ups in websites like MSN Contribute, when I found many other contributors’ links to their blogs. I thought it was a good idea to back up my pieces on blogspot (in case MSN vanished one fine morning or deleted their archives). Soon I found other bloggers coming over and leaving some encouraging comments on my blog! Soon enough I bluffed myself that the entire universe loves my ‘whatnonsanz’, so go ahead and post more of it and it worked!

Q. Tell us in detail about your blog, your idea and how it can benefit others?
Though I began my blog without any particular theme or subject, soon enough I made up my mind to post humorous write-ups. “Humor is the rubber sword with which I can make my point without drawing blood”, I declared on my blog. That was when I had made my choice – no ranting or complaining – just making my point in my own funny way. We had our own Chintan Baithak with the editorial team, which comprises of my mouse, keyboard, monitor and my right index finger which clicks on the Publish button (or doesn’t depending on its mood). The editorial team decided (which is unusual, though) that if one wanted to make fun of the world around you, one would rather begin with making fun of oneself. It’s a lot easier and buys some acceptability before I turn on my rubber sword on others (mostly our dear politicians and our social quirks). That’s when we decided to call my posts “ArTicKles”.
The effort is to at least put some smiles on the reader’s face. That some of the readers tell us they ROFL at our posts, is simply because it’s their personal exercise routine, I guess. I also share some real life experiences, lifestyle trends, inspiring incidents, anecdotes, language trends, neologisms and word origins which may interest readers. I avoid posting any email forwards in my blog.

Q. What area or topic you generally cover in your blog, any special reason behind it?
Anything above the sun – because everything under the sun has been blogged about anyway. Well, I try to avoid subjects that others have already blogged about, unless I feel very strongly about or have something different to say about it. I don’t want to be predictable – surprises can work on my readers too!

Q. Which blogging platform you are using (wordpress, blogspot, bloggers etc), any reason about it?
Blogger or Blogspot. I never knew other platforms existed. Some bloggers did move to Wordpress and sounded thrilled and excited about their change and wanted us to “convert”, but some how, I felt that Blogspot served my basic needs

Q. How frequent you update your blog? How many post your blog is carrying at present?
I try to post one per week, usually over the weekend, but then if the idea I am working on is not good enough, I would prefer not to post it rather than posting it just for the sake of regularity. Besides, reading, writing and blogging are my hobbies that are to be pursued in one’s spare time. I have 80 posts on my ArTickles blog till date.

Q. What tools you use to increase your blog readership and bring people on your blog? Do you use social networking sites?
I have listed my blog with Indiblogger, BlogCatalog, Blogadda and Labnol’s (Amit Agarwal’s blog) ‘List of Indian Bloggers’. Labnol brings in a lot of traffic to my blog, *Hey, Thanks Amit* and of late, Blogadda’s Tuesday Tangy Picks and Saturday Spicy Picks have featured my posts and have brought in some new readers *Thanks, Blogadda!*. I am also on Twitter (follow me @gopinathmm) and Facebook, where my tweets get automatically updated. My comments on other websites/blogs bring in some new readership. My occasional contribution by way of guest posts to Tickledbylife.com, Trak.in and India Tweets also help me reach to more interested folks across the globe. Interestingly, when I write about current events, more people land on my blog through Google search. “Google Maharaj ki jai!” (and thanks Feedjit for letting me know).

Q. Any specific tips you have for new bloggers who want to make it in the blogsphere?
Well, now that I know several bloggers, each one is out there for different reasons. But certainly one thing runs through all of them – they want readers to come and read their work and get hooked to their stuff. One’s got to be original – give your own perspective of the subjects and say it in your own unique style. Readers are sure to get addicted! Its content, content and quality content all the way.

Q. Do you earn revenue through your blog? If yes then how a blogger should monetize his / her blog? If no, then any plans in future?
No. I am not in this for earning money and am unlikely to try to monetize my blog in the near future.

Q. What are your other favorite blogs which you follow, can you list the top 5 such blogs?

Now you’re being cruel with me! I love several blogs and listing only five of them would mean leaving so many good ones out in the lurch. I have listed my faves in my Blogroll – just click on them and check them out.
And for being so mean with your parting shot, I will not let you get away without me getting back at you in equal measure – Read all my 80 posts and tell me the top 5 posts in my blog!

Thanks for this wonderful opportunity to feature in WebNeeTech! Wishing your team all success in all your endeavours!

LINK TO THE ORIGINAL POST HERE IN CASE YOU NEED IT

Playing God!

“Scientists have created the world's first synthetic life form in a landmark experiment that paves the way for designer organisms that are built rather than evolved”
Read the complete news item here.

When US Geneticists researching in Craig Venter’s team announced their success in producing “life” in a laboratory from chemicals, mankind has seemingly “progressed” in its capabilities to develop the rudimentary forms of life in a test tube. Media was quick to observe how the human race had crossed the threshold of divinity by developing the ability to create life forms, albeit just micro-organisms at this point in time, thereby describing the development as “playing God” by creating “life”. Some writers have been quick to imagine the consequences of such scientific advancement to lead to some disastrous results. Such life forms, some religious groups argued, are capable of forming variants and mutants, which can develop into other life forms and spread on our planet and cause environmental and ecological havoc! Besides, they would not be in our control – at least not in control of those who created them!

Skeptics would wonder whether we need these micro-organisms or their variants or mutants or whatever to cause environmental havoc on this wonderful planet when we have been doing a perfectly good job ourselves? Or do we really think we can create life in our laboratories and then have complete control over these synthetic creations? Must we not first try and control our teenage sons and daughters before even contemplating control over other life forms? Come to think of it, one wonders whether creators even seek control over their creation.

Man may not have yet understood how the human body works – but one cannot take away the credit for the success for having developed some kind of life form to the 20 scientists who toiled for 10 years , spent Millions of US$s and achieved just that! And although skeptical, religious, social opposition of the kind that had previously opposed the scientific advancement into cloning, takes effect and announces some kind of ban for the creation of such life forms in laboratories on this planet, let us salute this great achievement! I would also like to thank the scientists for naming the first synthetically created life form with a name that is more difficult to remember than mine:
1.08-Mbp Mycoplasma mycoides JCVI-syn1.0 genome!

That said, I continue to wonder about the “playing god” by “creating life” part of the news item. What exactly is playing God, btw? To approach this question, one must face the sorting hat of the Harry Potter kind that one sees in society today. We have, I learn the following kinds of people on our planet:

Theists – who believe in the existence of God – Monotheists believe in one God. Polytheists believe in multiple Gods.

Atheists – who don’t believe in the existence of God. How boring!

Pantheists – those who believe that all existing living forms are one entity – God!

Agnostic – those who find it difficult to decide whether god exists or not. Coined by Thomas Huxley, he originally meant it to mean those who would not believe anything until proven or disproven.

But for the purpose of simplicity, let us restrict the discussion to Theists of any kind (btw I belong to the Polytheist category and am comfortable with 330 million Gods and my pranaams to each one of them).

So “Playing God” to us, Theists, is creating this universe to which this wonderful planet belongs, all the lovely life forms on earth (except of course 1.08 MBP-whatever-whatever genome) and – hold your breath – controlling all that’s going on here! Now that’s a long way from creating a microorganism called 1.08 whatever….. Nevertheless, we Theists cannot stop marveling about the several life forms – the several thousand species of birds, animals, insects, fish, trees - their beautiful manifestations in nature, their role in maintaining the ecological balance of the earth. Theists would be eternally amazed and grateful to the Creator for the world in which we live.

One cannot but admire how thoughtfully, God has given the camel its hump to store water in the desert or the giraffe the long neck to reach higher leaves on which it lives or the pouch in the Pelican’s beak to store food for more than a week; and a pouch for the Kangaroo to hold its offspring… ! One could go on and on. How could HE have done it all by HIMself, one would wonder? For Theists, it is a matter of whether to believe in one god or 330 million? But for a Monotheist, One God is enough - HE is God, after all!

But after spending some time appreciating the thousands of species of animals and birds, let us turn to the latest creation from God – Mankind! Now this animal is capable of intelligent thinking, analyzing, talking, discussing, debating, socializing, - finally of making scientific inventions! Inventions to make life easier and inventions that could blow up this planet with the nuclear arms build-up by superpowers. Mankind had already acquired capability to destroy all God’s creations on earth – before beginning on the path and taking this first step – of creating life in its micro-organismic form!

Like CERN, who believes that if matter exists, so would anti-matter, theists too believe that if God exists, so does anti-God, the Satan or Shaitan (wonder Shaitan came from Satan or otherwise). So we have plenty of scientific advancements that are depleting our resources, polluting our rivers, polluting the very air we breathe, posing a threat to the ecological balance of our planet.
One can only hope that we are closer to playing God and saving this planet than playing Satan and destroying it! Just had to post my thoughts that came to my mind on this World Environment Day 2010! Wishes for the World Environment Day to all!

Blogger's Postscript: My apologies to my readers if this post didn’t make enough whatnonsanz. You'd rather be polite and say it makes a lot of sense! My apologies too if it was too long – but then I did not even touch upon the subject of destiny – who decides about my next post btw…