Animal Qualms

If you are not as blind as a bat, you may simply bury your head in the sand like an ostrich when I tell you that some animals are up in arms, or shall we say, paws, to pick up the cudgels for their ilk against the only political animal on earth, the human being, who is indulging in hurling insults at them by attributing their unworthy behavior and nasty habits to some or the other animal, time and again.

Some time ago, monkeys had called for a high-level meeting to take action against a prominent Indian cricketer for calling his Australian counterpart a “monkey”. Having moved a motion to condemn all such insults against them, they vowed to take action against any person, who makes such derogatory remarks in public domain. I would urge you not to consider this as “monkey business”, but to take this threat seriously!

If you thought the meeting to fight the menace was attended by monkeys alone, think again! Each of the species was part of the historic meeting, and it was unanimously agreed that a committee would be formed to deal with the insults hurled at the members of the non-political animals on earth.

At a recent meeting of this newly formed committed, a canine representative had a list of dialogues from Bollywood flicks, such as, “Kamine, Kutte” (Hindi for “Scoundrel, dog”) and several others of the kind, which needed to be dealt with a firm hand…er.. paw. The owl, jerked out of his deep slumber, a result of having stayed up all of earlier night, and registered the offense against owls by the “Ullu-ke-Patthe” (Hindi for son-of-an-owl) uttered on-screen, besides calling naive members of the so-called evolved species an “ullu” (hindi, for owl), which is derogatory for the nocturnal avian.

Their wily cousins, the fox, seconded their cause and added that the cunningness attributed to them was as outdated and archaic as Indian laws. In fact, if cunningness were to be measured on an independent scale, you would find that the political animal has elbowed out the fox out of the cunningness race ever since India’s Independence. The pig pitched in saying he was only “earthy” and not “dirty”, as was being portrayed.

The donkey, though equally insulted by likening them to dim-witted folks, could not represent his case and almost made an ass of himself at the forum. While the fast paced front-runner stallion, with much horse power to back his argument, raced into the arena with a banner saying “Comparing Horses with Politicians offends us”. A mare followed with a banner saying, “Horse-trading leads to Nightmares!”

The tortoise wished to put on record that due to the pace at which certain government and municipal bodies worked, it was not in order to draw parallels of with the motor capabilities of their species when matters actually moved (or did not) at a bureaucratic pace. The pug however thanked the advertising agency for portraying his ‘happy-to-help’ attitude and to all concerned to take up the issue of his ill-treatment when chasing a bus in the same manner as the young lad named Buddhia, without any discrimination. Except that the pug let the proverbial cat out of the bag when he revealed that he was really enjoying the shoot and not given a run for his money or for his moment-of-fame, for that matter!

In a corner a bull and a bear sat silently with their laptops flashing charts and tickers moving rapidly. They seemed least interested in the proceedings at the mundane meeting. When asked about their thoughts, they responded that they had no qualms at all. They had been given their place of pride in the premier stock markets. They were reportedly busy playing havoc with the greed and fear factor, making humans sick on the roller-coaster ride of the bourses, while they jostled playfully.

Sharing their experience, they talked about a certain large-sized investor, who would change his appearance from that of a Bull to that of a Bear faster than a chameleon can change colors. After a hard day’s tussle, the bulls and bears would settle down, they said, in front of television sets, “watching a handsome guy, who calls himself “Udayan Mukherjee” and appears on a popular Business Channel, reporting about guys licking their wounds and asking a host of self-proclaimed “experts”, just one question - if they could "see a bottom in place"!.

The donkey finally rose to the occasion and said that if the question was posed to him instead of the so-called “investment experts”, he could land one with the rear-guard action that he is accustomed to on one. Viola - you will have a hurting bottom in place! So, guys don’t brood over this story at a zebra-crossing, stop the menace of hurling insults at animals. And don’t you just consider this another cock-and-bull story. If you have some horse sense, you would know that the story is neither hogwash nor humbug - it is based on reliable sources. A little bird, for instance.

Blogger's Whisper: Psst…You could call my write-up
"Tons of Bull-$*!t" though!

© Gopinath Mavinkurve 2007-2008. All Rights Reserved.

Seeing is Believing! See pics below:

A Dog up in arms… when I say arms, I mean arms – not paws!

















A Monkey registering its complaint with a Cricket official














Read about the most intellingent owl – trained to perform by an expert!

A web-link of the most intelligent owl according to the trainer who trained it to perform stunning acts

If you are moved by the story, and have decided to treat animals with love, you may be interested in knowing how to look after your donkey (Link Below)

Blogger Whisper # 2: I dont need to upload the photograph of the donkey - the photograph along with the profile is already appearing on my blog from the very beginning!