Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Roti or Chapati Maker for our Kitchen!

When my better half mentioned that we needed a new water purifier and some kitchen accessories, my joy knew no bounds. Diwali was approaching and it was my heartfelt wish to surprise her with a modern, innovative upgrade for the kitchen. If a woman found her way to her hubby’s heart was enroute his tummy, a hubby would most certainly find his way to her heart through the kitchen, the provider for the tummy, one thought.

Ever since a television report had demonstrated a roti-maker or chapati making machine, it was my earnest desire to go in for one to aid her in performing routine kitchen chores. Wanting to spring a surprise at the opportune moment, no mention had been made about my plans.

She sensed my rare enthusiasm in joining in for the shopping expedition and was pleasantly surprised, mixed with a tinge of suspicion, though. What made me sacrifice a couple of hours of reading pleasure? Normal circumstances would have found me with an unputdownable thriller. One would also find me incessantly surfing the net or punching away the keyboard in an attempt to write some utter nonsense for my next blog post.

Once at the electronic superstore, my wife began to check out water purifiers and stuff like that. But I began enquiring about this strange new gadget that rolled out roti after roti that I had seen on TV. I was perplexed at the ignorance of the sales persons at the electronic megastore! “Which Channel? Which program?” They asked. But I pursued my dream gadget at every store in the neighborhood. The missionary zeal with which one was eager to acquire this exotic new gadget, without much background information or reference checks about its performance, aroused her suspicion.

“We don’t need a roti-maker or chapati making machine for our kitchen!”, she announced firmly and with the dash of finality.

My heart sank! My efforts to replace the old with the modern appliance had met with cold denial. Even the Indo-US nuclear deal had seen a smoother passage, one thought. Here was an opportunity to relegate that innocent looking wooden implement to the pages of history. One which had ruled the kitchen for several centuries, going beyond its call of duty, it was responsible for depriving husbands world over, from indulging in their important, passionate activities which included playing golf, reading bestsellers, watching important debates on national TV Channels, or cheering your country's team in a closely fought cricket/soccer/whatever-your-passion-sport match, forwarding emails, playing rummy or chess with friends, bird-watching besides socialising (read: getting drunk)in the evening. It had been instrumental in compelling husbands the world over to drop their important indulgent activities midway only to take up menial, unimportant, petty jobs which go by the name of ‘household chores’.

For the uninitiated, household chores are domestic boring errands like hunting for a plumber to fix the leaking tap (that has already caused quite a deluge, btw)or getting the electrician to attend to a spark in the switchboard (that could have burnt the entire neighbourhood) or get some dough (of any kind that your imagination can stretch to).



The “rolling pin”, as it was humbly named, played a crucial role and proved to be another ‘unputdownable’ (for the wife of course). My previous attempt to trade it in for a pillow fight yielded no result. With so many years into our marriage, my wife could easily evaluate the role and function of a pillow-fight as compared to the terrifying effect of the very prospect of hurling a rolling pin. Pillow-fights are only to be watched in advertisements and movies to suggest an ongoing romance. It was only symbolic and had nothing to do with real life.

She declared in a Javed Jafri-esque manner – "It’s different”!

Not wanting another encounter with the domestic 'Head-On Collider', the next trip to the electronic megastore - all by myself this time.

I tried my luck with the roti or chapati making machines.

“It is for industrial canteens – not for homes” he replied firmly.

“There is a really huge one in operation at the Golden Temple at Amritsar and there are some smaller ones for caterers and industrial canteens! Never heard of one for the kitchen of a small family”, he explained.

With faint hopes, one asked, “Do you have a sturdy laptop, which can double up as a shield and can withstand the impact of a rolling pin hurled at the speed of the fastest Brett Lee delivery?”



The poor salesman at the counter remembered my fondness for “unusual necessities” and had been praying hard, that this time around, I would want any of the several gizmos the superstore offered!

But would you call a perfectly normal husband wanting to do what he loves most, on his weekend holiday, “Someone with ‘unusual necessities’”? Or would you rather invent and design gizmos to help husbands the world over stay on course with the important tasks at hand? Did someone not say, "Necessity is the mother of Invention?" I can see this happen - only if mothers and wives allow this to happen!

Seeing is Believing:
Click on the weblinks below to watch some related videos:


1. Chapati making automation of mammoth proportions at the Golden Temple, Amritsar.

2. The smallest chapati making machine in commercial use as on date. A small scale down of this model would serve the purpose and serve humanity (read: husbands world over)

Vote for this story at Dubbagol!

14 comments:

Krishnan said...

Rollicking post Gopinath ! Had me in stitches. What felicity for humor ! Does your better half read your posts ? I am dying to know her comments :-)

Vinod_Sharma said...

What a 'rolling pin' post - it had me rolling like a pin with laughter! I thought it was only in the agri-cultural North that wives used rolling pins on their husbands! If Raj gets to know that the disease has spread to Marathi manoos...!

There is a simple solution Gopi. Become rice eaters. And buy lots of pillows. Who knows, filmy pillow fights may then become real for you.

Srinath Rao said...

Its absolutely brilliant - read it in michael holding esque ishtyle

sudhirburde said...

Dear Gopi has used the 'nalli' as we call the rolling pin in Konkani to tickle ourselves. Gopi Rocks !!

Mavin said...

Hiya Gopi,

A longish break makes the blog reader pine for his favourite stuff.

Noble intentions gone haywire and the world goes on so unconcerned.

If only better halves realised the concern, care and love we have for them and it finds expression in so many ways and this is just one of them.....

Hahahaha....and to round off wish you a very Happy Festive season and a great year ahead.

Ashin Mettacara said...

Hi ,
I found your comment, I got you now.
This is a nice post.
with loving-kindness

Gopinath's "Artickles" said...

Thanks,Krishnan! My better half does read rough sketches of my posts sometimes. After this post, all my old friends and relatives have written her emails more than the comments on this page. Her reaction is awaited. I have taken some precautionary measures too...

Vinodji, I dont eat rotis or chappatis, but like India, our family also believes in secular living and that somehow justifies the presence of a rolling pin in the kitchen besides my erratic indulgence in blogging.

Srinath, thanks! Do revive your blogging sometime soon.

Sudhir, Belan in Hindi, Latni in Marathi, Nalli in Konkani... whatever finally its effect on husbandkind is the same. Thanks for your comment!

Mavin, Some bloggers announce their vacations and some dont. But i am glad some people are waiting for my next post and you are one of them. Thanks!

Gopinath's "Artickles" said...

Ashin,
Welcome to my humor blog! Do read all my earlier posts too. Like good wine and whiskey they get better with the passing days!
I plan to read more of your past posts sometime soon too...

manju said...

Hi! I enjoyed your post very much.

My sympathies, however, are with your wife.:)

Unless you plan to use the appliance yourself, it would probably be better to let her choose which one she wants to buy!:)

Gopinath's "Artickles" said...

Welcome to my blog, Manju! I agree with you that i should allow her to choose her appliance. That is the very reason I finally went looking for a Laptop which doubled up as a Shield, so that I could continue to post some stupid nonsense in my next post...

Sahaja said...

Ha ha ha.....brilliant I say Brilliant!! can be absolutely called as an Artickle....I am not yet a wife but believe me i heard abt this only in stories/movies may be men in my locality are too timid or too good :P [kidding].....

hehe one small personal question, apart from the masala u added 2 make it a wonderful artickle did some part of it happen??
dont mind haan....just curious :D....a nice read :D Loved it!! ESP the first para OMG i am still laughing!!

Gopinath's "Artickles" said...

Sahaja, the only truth in the piece of writing is that I spend so much time with my laptop that wife gets angry with my obsession, of late. Rest is fiction. Obviously when things really need my attention I react much too late for anyone's liking. My relatives and close friends wrote more emails asking my wife if this was true than the comments on this page! Only to be disappointed with "Dont believe any rubbish he writes on his blog!"

Anitha said...

Hilarious. You did make good use of the rubber sword.

mahesh said...

what a blog dear..............
need bpo jobs without a single rupee!!!!!!!! a genuine job from home.

Work from home