What can happen if you get hit by a terrorist attack, followed by the mother of all Indian financial scams, followed by various political wannabes, like Raj Thackarey and Sanjay Dutt trying to get a slice of the TRP cake on National news media? It is no different from a blow on the head after which one begins to forget everything ala Ghajini! So what was I blogging about? Oh yes, about nothing in particular - just about this and that. So here we go.
To begin with, the investigating team appointed to probe the Satyam scamam faced severe problems. Suddenly B. Ramalinga Raju forgot how to speak, whenever asked any question about the goings-on in Satyam! Experts advised the investigators not to repeat words like “inflated assets” “fudging accounts” “confessional letter” and the like of which you have been reading in the press, because he would begin to behave like the muscular violent character, Sanjay Singhania, which is portrayed by Aamir Khan in the recent Rs. 200+ Crore blockbuster, Ghajini.
The standby medical fraternity diagnosed it to be a case of Ghajinitis also known as STML - Not Short Term Memory Loss - Satyam Truth Memory Loss. Enterprising chap, this. No outdated methods like pain in the chest or stuff like that for the modern cyber-savvy Raju. He goes for the latest ailment in town!
Eminent psychiatrists then suggested that all such depressing subjects should be avoided and some light humorous subjects should be discussed. He fished out his laptop and google-searched for “Satyam + Humor” and a whole lot of blogposts (including my two posts on the subject) popped up. B. Ramalinga Raju was offered to go through these humor blogs and posts so that he will be back in good humor and may just about blurt out the Satyam, the truth, that is.
When he read my post on the monkeys stealing my tadgolas, the trick worked, “Not just tadgolas – FDs worth RS. 1200 Crores” he exclaimed, to a round of loud peals of laughter! When the news of his modus-operandi broke out on the net, I was with some brilliant Chartered Accountants from a reputed firm named “Professionals Without Clues”, PWC (not to be confused with PwC – kindly notice the enlargement of the middle). Even the finest brains in their organisation confess to me that they cannot imagine how this could have been pulled off! “You need a certificate of cash and deposit balances from the bank to support it!”, they scream in unison.
“Wait just a while”, I tell them. “Raju is planning to set up a University to teach you all how he did it”. Soon, you can join their SIFYlliate program, as it will be called.
In the meanwhile, Sanjay Dutt and Manyata are hell bent to let the universe know “What is in a name?” Lots! Especially if a ticket to the ensuing polls is involved. The blogosphere is abuzz with their Amaanyata (Disapproval) of the Munnabhai-speak which they say smacks of chauvinism. You can read it by clicking through several posts through this anchor post by IHM, for better and for verse.
What else can you expect from a guy who has been there (in jail) and done that (guns and drugs)? If the off-screen Munnabhai would really want to follow the ideals of Gandhigiri, he would give up his name for the cause like this unique story below.
Story : What’s in a name?
ASHEVILLE, N.C. - A 19-year-old Asheville teenager said she legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com to protest animal dissections in schools. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Asheville High graduate Jennifer Thornburg now wants to be called Cutout. Her new legal name is the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' site.
The teenager said she began opposing dissections in middle school, after a class assignment to dissect a chicken wing made her uncomfortable. She helped create a policy at her high school that allows students who object to dissections to complete an alternative assignment.
Whether one wants to retain their maiden surname or her husbands surname or both or none or something like the above is a personal matter of choice. As this article says , women are lucky to have this choice – men don’t – they are stuck with the name they are born with.
Well, actually Sanjay Dutt can change his name to AnythingForATicket.com. He may not prefer a name like DoSomeGandhigiri.com!
Btw, Do you know what is common between the Bacchan-Gandhi family feud, the Ambani Brothers' family feud and the Dutt siblings family feud?
Amar Singh!
Family feuds Amar Rahe!
Welcome Obama!
Chirag Thakkar and Jayesh Gandhi of Surat, Gujarat dedicate a Hindi song to Barack Hussein Obama on his swearing-in as the President of United States of America. Hear this out guys, it's pretty cool!
Endgame: Guess what Obama will say when the dog he promised his daughters goes about lifting its leg in the White House?
“No – you can’t!”
Blogger's Postscript: I am not posting anything about that neighbouring country - Raj Thackerey might just target all blogs with such names of countries or their cities like he did to a sweet shop named "Karachi Sweets". If you follow Ramesh Srivats on twitter, you will know what he believes - that Mysore Pak will be the next target! You are right Ramesh, but would they attack because of "Mysore" or "Pak"? Because the Senas have started attacking theatres screening Kannada films in Maharashtra to rake up the border issue too!
With so many blows on our head, we are sure to suffer from Ghajinitis and forget all about our main target - the terrorists!
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17 comments:
Another amazing post Gopi...you flute is amazing indeed...you use it tickle the ribs of gopis and gawalas alike!
These PWC guys...are you sure they are Professionals Without Clues? I think they are turning out to be "Professionals Who Cheat".
Sanjay actually was desperate to do Gandhigiri...of the ongoing Gandhi brand. But then those famous court jesters gave the High Command the jitters...Sanjay might actually get more popular! Such a risk is unthinkable. What else has Amar been got into the camp for...other than delivering MPs for holy cash? That why you hear Manyata now singing "Lal topi waale.."
As to the dog in the White House, you never know...Obama might just get him to wear diapers so that he can keep saying "Yes you can!"
brilliantr post....
"Ghajinitis".... now that is something new... maybe we could get that added to the dictionary... :P
it would auger well for the country if Raj gets an attack of that...
Sad about Karachiwala. I hope these guys refuse to change their name. We need another Gandhi to give us abhayadaan again...
Thank you for your limerick :) If you hadn't commented I was planning to leave a comment here requesting you to do that :)
I fear this Khalnayak will not be crushed like a cigarette butt :(
And the rest of our Khalnayaks are also not being crushed.
Not very good times for us :(
AWeeeeeeesome is the word....hey how do u come up with such stuff? it feels like so difficult to compile all these even if u get ideas at different times!!
A Bow to You Gopinath!!
STML, Amaanyata and anythingforaticket haha...the best part being, u even got out best posts and ideas [like mysorepak] out to your readers!
kool :-)
Boy, this is superlative.
This must be on the front pages of all national dailies for a week.
Vinod, you seem to have the expansion of PWC right. Thanks for your insights into Amar's moves and Manyata's devotion for him. Well of course, Obama would do anything to continue to say "Yes, we can!" Thanks!
Ajit - thanks. Yes the word will appear in the dictionary, but for that it needs to be widely used. So go ahead and cite it on your blog too in some or the other context.
IHM - not to worry about them not being crushed like cigarette butts. They will continue to provide the necessary feeds to humor blogs like mine. I dont need an invitation, but if you have any exciting post going do send me an email.
Sahaja, these ideas keep coming to me. In fact I sometimes lose them if i am in transit. I suffer from a mild form of ghajinitis, you see. So as soon as I get home I get to my laptop and begin noting down - that gets on my family's nerves. These ideas come to me because my senses are trained to remain open to receive them! Thanks!
Swaps, thanks! Your wish is too good to be true. National newspapers do not give humor any importance. But our politicians are collectively doing a lot for our cause - everything they say turns out to be funny. So they are doing more for humor than we bloggers can!
Wonderful post! As Sahaja asked- how do you come up with this stuff? :)
Brilliant! How do you come up with this stuff Gopi! The song by Gujju guys is cool!
Amazing post. Loved every word of it.
This is sounds less MCPish :),women are lucky to have this choice – men don’t – they are stuck with the name they are born with.
I wrote a post on Amar Singh connection to these feuds last week.
Neta sent the goons to get Mysore Pak seller but these goons got so confused that they are now attacking Bangalore and Pakistan.
:)) Ghajiniti is the new mantra.
Gopi an awesome post, obviously PWC, Sanjay, and Obama are now in the right light.
Sanjay should change name to AnythingForATicket.com. Gandhigiri thing was a bull anyways :)
Obama ko abb change kanrna hi padega.
A blog about nothing...ha ha thats nice. Gajnitis is an affliction of convenience. I was impressed when Raju said he will not get admitted in a hospital (like some politicians). But looks like this chap had other things in his mind. Or rather shall we say this chap didnt have anything on his mind....oh no this is confusing.
I laughed my guts out Gopi. Waiting eagerly your take on Mangalore pub attack by vandals.
@ Manju, Priyank, Prerna, Chirag -Thanks so much!
@ Solilo, thanks - your post on Amar Singh was good too!
@ LVS- a blog about "nothing in particular"! Dont take out words from my mouth! he he!
@Krishnan - thanks. About the Mangalore incident, it has shocked everyone and bloggers are angry about this episode. I dont want to poke fun at this one! Because it isn't funny at all.
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