My first ArTicKles Book!

The announcement
To begin with, I would like to make an announcement :-
“Hey, my first book, a compilation of my “ArTicKles”, is available on the net!”

How did I get this outrageous idea?
Some of my friends seem to be weirder than me! They believed, sooner or later, I could have a compilation of my ArTicKles published as a book! “It could be a nice book to read on a flight, if you could publish a compilation”, said one, when I handed him some printouts of my blog posts on a business trip on a flight back from a meeting with customers. I could tickle people even when the net was inaccessible!

Then there was my aged uncle, who asked his son (my cousin) to get printouts home for him, as reading from the PC monitor was not a workable option for his aging self. Maybe some others, who did not have access to the internet but did read newspapers, magazines and books could be tickled by my compilation of books!

Well, but why did I publish a collection of my ArTicKles on the net?
Simple! For one, I thought people would like to buy it!
How stupid can one get?

Well, I am only looking to reach out to newer recipients of my ’Tickles through this book.

But who would publish my book?
To find out how some others, who were writing for MSN Contribute, an amateur writers forum, had managed to successfully publish their own work in books, I got in touch with them by email. From their response, it was evident that publishers had their own yardstick to measure up your work – Would the subject appeal to readers? Would they buy this book? Would they make money? Does their marketing department think this book will sell?

It was evident from their response that it would be quite an ordeal. I would have to go from pillar to post to find a publisher for my book - only to collect rejection slips or perhaps embarrassing silence as a reply.

About Self-Publishing
When I met the founder of Wordsmith.org, Anu Garg, who has already published some books already, I had an opportunity to get deeper insights into aspects of publishing – about latest trends, about newer possibilities opening up!

For one, Anu explained the concept of self-publishing. He recommended me to visit Lulu.com, which is a popular website, which has popularized this concept lately. So I found the publisher of my book – myself! The idea appealed to me immensely, however I wondered whether an Indian firm could offer me this concept right here in India? I am so very thankful to Anu Garg for the insights he shared with me!

A quick google search “self publishing website India” threw up just the site I was looking out for:
Pothi.com!

About Print on demand and Pothi.com
If there is anything that appealed to me about Pothi.com, it was the simple way in which all my doubts were answered so lucidly through their features and if there still was a nagging doubt left, their FAQ, cost calculator, ISBN, services for writers... everything a writer needing to publish a book would need to know.

One other doubt that had been bothering me was the minimum order size. Surely, I would have to order some minimum quantity of books, wouldn’t I? Would it be 300…or 100? Would they agree for an order size of 12? That is when I was pleased to learn that with Print on Demand technology, one can even buy ONE BOOK at a time! No unnecessarily printed copies lying around. Though offset printing does cost lower per copy, the cost of unsold copies could very well prove to be costlier, unless of course you are a best seller author right away.

About my First ArTicKles book
Select artickles have been chosen from my blog posts and some further editing and improvements have been made, wherever possible, in this book. This book is for light reading for those of your family members, friends, senior citizens – just about anyone, who may have limited or have no access to internet and my blog, but enjoy reading all the same. This book will prove to be a good gift for them, with whom you have not been able to share my blog posts from time to time.
[If they have been escaping my tickles – here they come!]

If the idea appeals to you,
do buy it at Pothi.com here!

About this long post
Finally, why did I share all this with you in so much detail? Wasn’t a short post announcing my book enough? Is this a case of “over-share” with my readers? Well, I have dwelt it in greater details, because, each one of you may have your own poems, short stories, articles, analytical write-ups, novellas to share with a larger audience, to reach out to a wider circle of readers. Maybe this post could show you the way to get there!
I can see several talented writers around who would soon publish their own work, in some way or the other and perhaps become best-selling authors, even before I take my next small step!

Next step? Would you write another?
Of course! Why else would I call it the First ArTicKles Book here in this post?

Bhaagore.com - Bhaago Re!

The jaagore campaign to awaken the teeming millions out of their deep slumber and urge them to participate in the ensuing elections, has stirred many, who would have turned 18 on 1.1.2009 has been successful indeed.
Even those who have relocated to some other place in India and have not formally registered in the new place have woken up! Now this is one cup of chaai every Indian must sip!
After all, that is your only democratic right, which you enjoy as a citizen of India, the largest democracy on earth.

It was my bounden duty to get my daughter enrolled in the electoral rolls upon entering the last of her teens. The www.jaagore.com website enlightened me about the various forms that need to be filled and where they can be submitted.
But then fortunately for me, the regional office of our electoral authorities is a 10minute walk from my residence. So a month ago, I trudged the path and asked them for a form and they immediately handed me a couple of forms and explained me how to fill it up!
The only catch however was that they would announce the dates for accepting new registrants forms shortly, I was told.

In the meanwhile, a civic official who was going door-to-door distributing forms to the already registered voters, called up at our place.
“I already have a Voter-ID card and do get to vote so what exactly are these forms?” I asked.
“These are for updating our records and your photo is not there on the list” he showed me a printout of the electoral rolls.
“Cant I vote if I don’t fill in this form? I have a valid voters’ ID?” I asked him.

“You can vote with your old Voter-ID, but you can never say when rules can change, so it is better to fill this form and attach an attested copy of a Photo-identity like Passport copy, Pan Card, etc and complete our formality while the program is on”, he said.
I couldnt figure out exactly what it was all about but apparently they wanted us to comply with some formalities.

Today, I had the good fortune of finding the said officers, in fact 3 of them, who appeared in the school which usually is our voting centre, all willing to accept both new registrations and these newly distributed forms!
There was a huge crowd in front of the 3 officers and some people who were apparently waiting in a queue.

In the queue as I waited, a rather elderly Parsi gentleman asked me whether this was the queue for submitting the form. I just told him I hoped so too, but wasn’t sure.
Then he asked me “Why we are required to fill this form again, since we already had voter ID cards with our photo on it?” I shrugged my shoulders.
“They must have misplaced our records! They only know how to make us run and dance!”, he continued to grumble, “This is the Bhaagore program of the Government!.........”.

"Yes sir! They are trying to prove Charles Darwins theory propogating that it would eventually be the 'Survival of the Fittest' right all over again" I agreed, as I helped the aged man to sit on a nearby vacant chair.

One couldn’t make out whether there were three separate queues or one? Whether my form could be submitted by the officer or was I in the wrong queue? Any effort to get to the officer to find out if I was in the right queue met with loud boos. But these same people could not tell me if I was in the right queue! Now I know why a straight line is called a ‘Q’ – it resembles this alphabet more than any other!

Finally my turn came and I was so happy when he accepted our forms!
“What next?” I asked. “You will have to get your photograph taken when we organize it”, he informed!
“But haven’t we submitted our photograph?” I asked. “No not this photo, we will need to photograph you with our special camera for the new card we are planning to issue”, he informed.

Back home, I checked my emails and found a mail from my old friend, Freddie, from college, a physics scholar who is with a premier research institute in the UK in my inbox. Now just to give you a background about this old friend of mine, having migrated to the UK, used to write me postcards (when the email had not yet evolved) from “Great Britain” (UK was apparently not so effective). Not the one to take things lying down, of course, I used to reply him back from “Greater Bombay”.

“So what research are you doing these days”, I had asked him in my last email, to which he informed “We are working on a camera which can give you the image of your predecessors thousands of years ago! In just a few weeks, we should be able to even tell the exact species of monkey from which you have evolved with this camera.
It will be a fitting tribute to the evolution theory of Charles Darwin”

“Why is your UK government wasting so much money to do that, Freddie? Our Indian government has several of those cameras in operation for the last decade or so and they use them - to make Voter IDs for all our citizens!” I asked him.

Blogger’s Post-Script:My blog is shortlisted by Mumbai-bloggers.net for the award for the best blogger prize.
Do vote for me!
You dont have to be a Mumbaiite to vote - anyone from anywhere can vote for 5 blogs out of the listed 59 blogs.

The latest announcement – This page tells you how you can vote
The complete list of registered entries is here

Finally, let me blow my own trumpet - My counter-hits have crossed the 10000-mark!

Declaring bankruptcy and Introducing a new author!

You may have read about several companies having filed for bankruptcy recently.
These guys are short of cash.

I am filing for bankruptcy too.....of ideas, though!

How come? Why, dear friend? Come on you can write about so many subjects...pink chaddis, Valentine's day celebrations, moral policing, Laloo's wisecracks in Parliament while announcing the Union railway budget....

Frankly, i did make an attempt. But ever since my last post where I whispered this about the editor of my blog :
(Pssst: Frankly, I would have posted another 100 posts by now, but for this bully Ed-in-Ch! I am seeking to be free from this tyrant someday! Need some serious reforms in the blogging space too!)

All my written pieces have been summarily rejected without assigning any reasons, as is customary for all editors to do.

Psst...Honestly, all that has remained unpublished because of this a$$-h0!E is not really worth a glance, let alone a read. Sigh! I have run out of ideas!

Just then I got a brilliant idea - in a drought even a drop of water seems like a river! Why not invite someone to write a guest post?

If any of my readers would like to contribute a funny one for my blog, you are most welcome. Send your funnies by email - which email id? - It's provided in my profile alongside.

To begin with I am posting an article written by my daughter, Supriya and which got published by their college (NM College of Commerce, Vileparle) magazine.
So here goes......

Around the City in just 50 Bucks!
By Supriya Mavinkurve

I know a man who stayed in Bangalore, whose heart’s desire was to visit the city of his dreams, Bombay. He had a long list of things to do here, but not a soul he knew, who would let him stay at his place! “In Bombay, you can get a job, but a place to stay? Never!”, his brothers had told him!

Finally, his determination and the services of the Indian Railways brought him to this fabulous city of his dreams! He managed to find a lodging place in Andheri for a couple of days. It was an old dingy room, which was all he could afford for the sum he could pay for! Bedbugs were, of course, free - part of a package deal.

He then put down his wish list on a piece of paper. He would want to visit the Gateway of India, the Hanging Gardens, the Chowpatty, the Borivali National Park, The Victoria Terminus Station ….

He also wished to enjoy the bhel-puri, paani-puri, chaat, vada pav and ice-golla at the Beach Stalls and also eat at the well known eateries offering a variety of Indian and exotic Chinese food which he had heard so much about and longed to relish.

So he set forth on his journey the next morning by the BEST Bus. He did not expect that even boarding the city bus would be an adventure sport by itself. But God helps them who pursue their dream, he believed. His belief brought him to the Gateway of India, where he enjoyed a boat ride and soaked in the sights of the Rajabhai Tower, the Azad Maidan and the Churchgate Station and had his lunch at an Udipi Restaurant and finally boarded the bus to Chowpatty. By this time the sun was about to set and the evening crowds were trickling in.

He gorged on all the chaat items that he always longed to eat by the waves and sands of Chowpatty as he also relished the sunset by the sea. His dreams were coming true. The local trains were the next on his itinerary. As the train charged in, the city warriors, deft in the sport posed to be a challenge to the Bangalorean! He boarded the already crowded train at andheri, managed to cling on to dear life, was almost pushed out again at Vile Parle. At the end of the ride, he felt as if his body had been massaged as never before – at no extra cost, of course!

The following couple of days, he was able to cover all the places of his desires. He had the princely sum of Rs. 50 when he had come and was now left with only Rs. 5 left in his pocket.

But just how did he manage to do all this in Just Rs. 50? Suspecting him of pulling a fast one on me, I demanded him of the breakup of the costs incurred. “Rs. 30 for the lodging, Rs. 3 for the bus rides, Rs. 3 for the train journeys, Rs. 10 for all the chats ….”

“Was the whole City on some kind of Discount Sale?” I asked.

“No it was Bombay in the year 1961!” said my grandfather!

Bloggers' Post-script: Among some topics listed by her college professors, she selected this one. When I asked her whether it could be a mistake, she said it wasn't and that she would write one on her own!

Well, even the Government of India backtracked on the promise of a US$10 laptop recently and how! The poor guys cant even say it was an old official press release that got entangled in red tape! Bcoz laptops in those days cost more not less!

Dont forget to send in your guest posts!

Breaking News all around

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS .

The words are being flashed on our TV Screens for quite some time now. Just plain “News” wont do – its got to be “Breaking News”. I have always wondered what this phrase is all about? But before we go to the ‘breaking’ part, let me tell you how fascinated I was when back in school, I learnt that ‘NEWS’ itself was actually an acronym for North, East, West and South! It was the print media which would report “Happenings from North, East, West and South”, that gave us this word, NEWS, which we read while we had our breakfast.

Now, the electronic media give us the “Breaking News”. When a dozen news channels vie with each other and their tele-journos run at break-neck speed scramble over each other to reach out to the only guy there who knows it all to catch the sound bytes for the world to listen to, obviously there is going to be some rib-cracking, bone-crushing and elbow-shattering in the process. But what else can these poor television journalists, do if they have to please their bosses and keep their jobs, but to stick out that microphone as close to the “person-in-the-know”? So what if they have to break a rib or two in the process?

“Sir, you have lost your entire family in this tragic event – how do you feel?”
Now what else can someone, whose floating rib has just been twisted at 45 degrees from the natural position, possibly think of? I am talking about the TV reporter! But then so long as the newsreader sitting in cool comforts of the recording studio loves the question what does one care? But then the news-reader wants to prove to be the bigger boss, high up there .... “Are you happy with the steps taken and the support provided by the government, Sir?”
That comes when he has yet to recover from the blow dealt by the tragedy and then the take in the blow dealt by the first question!

If you have just tuned into the channel, you would think it is the efforts of the government that has...actually caused all this... but, somehow, it perhaps is not – or so I would like to believe! Anyway, the big boss, the Managing Editor or any other fancy designation that he/she chooses to give him/herself, has also to worry about the viewers – the number of viewers, I mean! What with the “Do aankhe – barah news channels” situation these days, it is getting very competitive for the TV Media! “Don’t go anywhere”, they proclaim, as there are some deeper, profound, probing questions to be asked, as they go into “a break”. Phew! You sigh as this is the only break that you can really bear!

Political parties have resolved to give this “Breaking News” stuff some real meaning. But How? Simple. By breaking glass-panes; by breaking the sight-screens of cars and buses; by breaking the beautiful glass façade of 5-star hotels….do I have to tell you….breaking just about everything that can be broken, isn’t that sufficient?
They break the law.
They break - nay shatter our faith, our confidence and our trust.
They break the promises they made to get elected, dammit!
They break them all. Collectively they have truly lent a whole new meaning to the phrase “Breaking News”

Can we break free from these political parties who break just about anything on the pretext of protecting our culture? The much-celebrated “freedom” that we Indians have got was from the clutches of the British. When are we going to break free from the clutches of our own politicians? From the self-appointed custodians of morality, culture and values? From our corrupt officials? From … c’mon, you know ’em all – the ones who hold us captive, bound to our traditions, our cultures!

A thousand freedoms await us!

Talking of freedom, we now see a clash of interest amongst two sections of the media – the electronic media (as in the television channels) and the electronic-internet media, the blogosphere! Both are supposedly free and yet some are more free than the others. You pay for the channels you watch but you read our blogs – absolutely free. But this is not the freedom we were talking about, were we? We were talking about freedom of expression. So it happens that by curbing the freedom of one blogger, to express his thoughts, the television media has launched an attack on a blogger’s freedom of expression by forcing the blogger to apologise and withdraw his post! Perhaps it is an attempt to break the resolve of some fearless bloggers who have begun to post a criticism of the manner in which the terror attacks were covered. It was perfectly alright until they were attacking the politicians. Wasn’t explaining the criticisms enough, as was done to the print media who also incidentally said the same thing?

One attack leads to another! Naturally, we see a counter-attack in the blogosphere! A rare display of unity among bloggers who have joined hands in cyberspace to protest against this kind of dadagiri or should we say ‘didigiri’?. A resolve not to yield to the pressures or rather, not to break up so that the TV news channels have another “Breaking News”!

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS .

Finally I would like to give you all some small bits of “Breaking News”
1. Indyeah has tagged me! This “tagging” phenomenon is unique to the blogosphere. I would love to do it, but I need some time, Indyeah. Thanks for your patience!

2. Priyank Thatte who writes his blog “Final Transit” (though I have suggested him to change it to “Always in Transit”), has awarded this blog with a unique award – A new word coined by him. Thank you very much, Priyank! I am honoured!
Text of his comment has been reproduced below:
"Gopinath, I am baffled at your talent to give a humorous twist to virtually anything. I am coining a new term: Gopinathification.
Gopinathification, noun:
Transformation of virtually any news, situation or information into a totally different perspective by looking at it humorously.
e.g. He Gopinathified the sad events at Mangalore in this blog post.
Do use this phrase in your future post (its the only award I can offer) :P"

BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS - BREAKING NEWS .

3. Hurray! This is my 50th post!
Thanks to all those who have encouraged me to write this ‘whatnonsanz’! Also thanks to my editorial team, which includes my laptop, my modem, my sofa, my living-room and more important - the Editor-in-Chief of this blog, the index finger of my right hand, which clicked on the “Publish Post” button on the Blogger dashboard for whatever nonsanz that sprung from my cerebral clutter. If it was not for the generosity shown by this index finger, I would have been burdened with so many rejected posts that I would have to go in for a hard disk with infinite capacity! And more importantly , I would have broken!
(Pssst: Frankly, I would have posted another 100 posts by now, but for this bully Ed-in-Ch! I am seeking to be free from this tyrant someday! Need some serious reforms in the blogging space too!)
4. Friends, this is no great record that I have broken, I accept. But I don’t wish to break records, I only wish to see readers break into laughter – that is all. Did I hear someone say “My God! That means he’s going to write some more of this whatnonsanz?”

So do break your silence , speak your mind and post your comments!
Celebrate your freedom - you dont need to fret or break into a sweat nor have to fight for it all over again!
AND DO CONTINUE TO POST WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SAY IN YOUR BLOGPOSTS!
Finally, dont go anywhere I will be back after a short break!
Short, incidentally can mean a week or a month!