Who is “in- Charge”. Me? No way!

By Murlidhar Varier - A Guest post on my blog...

Ours is a typical middle class nuclear family where I am the eldest and supposed to be in charge.I am responsible for sizable slice of the monthly income. All decisions pertaining to finance (other than routine expenses) needs to have my nod also.

As a result, I found myself in a so called high pedestal, where any decision that mattered needed my approval. I was happy.

One day, on further analysis of the decision making process, I realized that I am only a paper tiger.

Sure, I gave my assent to the replacement of the mixer-grinder and a new set of vessels for our kitchen. We set out to buy them. The first sign and shock of “who is in charge” dawned on me when the selection of the mixer & vessels were done overruling my suggestion.

“You keep quiet” was the refrain.

The second salvo was fired when my spouse’s name appeared on all the vessels (with that ear piercing electric pen) as she looked nonchalantly at me.

On our way back she kept chiding me for not handling the package properly.
Once home, I wanted to have a feel of our new acquisition, and I promptly proceeded to unpack the grinder.

“Stop!” She shouted, “Don’t spoil it on day one.”

Having lost the plot I retreated out of the kitchen. On my way out I picked the plastic carry bag that housed the grinder, intending to use it for the old files that were to be consigned to the loft.

“What are you doing?” She looked at me and exclaimed! With the same look that one gives when somebody is caught red handed, stealing. I replied that I wanted the bags for my files.

“I will give you another one” she said and scurried out of sight for a few seconds.
When she returned she triumphantly extended a carry bag,( which seen better days and with one of its ears torn) towards me and before I could argue, she lifted her hand to indicate that the matter was closed.

The number of carry bags she has squirreled away over the years will put a mid- sized mall to shame.

The same story repeated itself when I picked up one of the new vessels for preparing tea, one day. It was promptly eased out of my hold and before I could gather my wits, the old one was thrust into my hands. I will tell you when to start using the new one she said.

That day was the last I saw of the new vessels, for many months, till one day one of the vessels appeared like cubs going out for the first time in a zoo, for public viewing.

I thought I would be better off with my son but then again my power was short lived.

My son wanted an expensive smart phone and we debated over it for months till I could mobilize enough money to buy it. There was nothing wrong with his existing phone, but since I did not get any expensive toys when I was a child, I agreed to buy one for him, reluctantly.

After a lot of research on specification and price the phone was ordered with great enthusiasm. On the day it was supposed to arrive by courier my son told me in no uncertain terms that my job was to accept the package and keep it safely till it arrives.

“Don’t even think of opening it”, he said. My spouse was included in that part of the instruction and I felt better.

I tried to reason that the box may not contain what we ordered and to this he said that seller had a 48 hour return policy.

Soon the phone arrives and disappears into his room. Occasionally he will hand it to me as if doing me a favour. The plastic bag will be claimed by the rightful owner, leaving me just the credit card bills. At least there I am still the boss.

I reconciled to the situation telling myself that, it is my love towards them that lets them get away with this outrageous behavior and I shudder to test the veracity of my claim.

Moral of this piece:

It does not matter if you are the eldest, or it is your money, you own the house, or you are physically stronger the power centre lies elsewhere.
If there are more stories like these please share them. We could also form an association of the “Powerless Powerful”.

About the Author:
Murlidhar Varier writes a column on personal finance matters in the Golden Glow magazine. This is his first attempt at humour. Best wishes and hoping to read more humour pieces in the days to come.

Blogger's Post-Script
The ArTicKles Blog would be pleased to feature more guest posts. Do send in your contributions to g_mavinkurve [AT] hotmail [DOT] com to feature in this blog.