THE GOOD WAYS

With the economic downturn taking its toll on employment in the US, would you be surprised if you were told that Americans are looking for a GOOD job?

What’s new? One would wonder. Wasn’t that happening all the time?
Except that a GOOD job that we are learning about now, is a “Get Out Of Debt” job.

While most orthodox Indians have been shunning debt and viewing it as a burden, Americans have been known to have embraced the idea of being perpetually in debt so much so that…. “until debt do us apart”, was perhaps the only foreseeable end of the hugging enchantment for it. Living beyond their means had been a way of life encouraged by one and all.

So when one learns that Americans are looking for a GOOD job, one wonders whether a well paying job to settle the debts would really work? Or will they, having heaved themselves a few notches up, go for bigger loans to enter a higher spiral or orbit?

But the world is really worried, not because they might get into the Debt trap again, but because they wouldn’t get enticed by it. Because if they do turn over a new leaf, live within their means and spend within their means, it will mean an economic downturn will affect China, India and the emerging markets.

So many people depend on their not-so-GOOD ways of life! Not to worry – it is very difficult to get out of habits – especially bad ones. It is as difficult as it is to get into good ones though.

You may have learnt about the how this wonderful little word sticks on to us:
HABIT
Remove H, A BIT still remains.
Remove A, BIT still remains.
Now, remove B, and IT still remains!

So millions of people living in emerging economies live in the hope that Americans will not change their ways and continue to spend. But wouldn’t this change only cause a temporary drop in the economic activity, eventually continuing to grow once the ‘adjustment’ to the new way of life is complete? Would not the new way of life find Americans steer clear of going overboard and do away with ‘NINJA’ loans (‘No-Income-No-Jobs or Assets’ loans) that eventually led to the economic collapse?

It is commonly observed that it is easy to get into any situation and difficult to get out of it. Just as Americans are finding it difficult to get out of debt, several Indians investing in equities, are finding themselves in the same predicament. There are loads and loads of experts to advise how to invest, but not a single soul to advise when or how to exit from it. So we find millions of small investors trapped in the share market. However, we can take respite in the statistics which tells us that not more than 5% of Indians have entered the equity markets.

So where are these remaining 95% Indians trapped, if not in equities and debts? Perhaps in vices like excessive spending, smoking, drinking, tobacco or god forbid, even drugs. Several such habits that tempt us along life’s path. You can choose your ‘drug’ – your opiate, as in your chosen substance or habit that gives you “a high” or “a kick”, that you must have or partake. You can spend your lifetime in it – until it kicks you. You will find yourself in a situation like Abhimanyu did, in the epic Mahabharata, who knew how to get into the battlefield - but not how to come out of it. Perhaps this episode cited in the great epic is a symbolic message to us all to avoid the several traps in our life’s path.

But there is hope for those who wish to come out of this chakravyuha - you can choose to lead a GOOD life – a Get Out Of Drugs (drug= your opiate) life. When enemies are within, one finds it difficult to strike. Difficult choices exist, if one is determined, one can break free and Get Out Of Disaster.

Countries get into war-like situations in much the same way. War seems like the only solution. Countries get into one without knowing how they will come out of it. Getting into a war is easy, getting out of it isn’t. War can mean Devastation, Destruction, Destabilization. Oh, so many D’s to eventually get out of! Yet, we find ourselves wanting to get into this situation – without knowing for how long and how to get out of it!

The terror attacks in Mumbai, has angered us all. We want action against terrorists. We want to carry out a precise surgical attack on terrorist camps. We are not against any country but what lies within it. Surprisingly, Pakistan, India, US, the entire world wants to take action against terrorists, but they don’t join hands in doing so. We have a common enemy, but we don’t fight together. We fight each other. Because that is something we know how to do. But there is no expert to tell us how to fight a faceless, nameless phenomenon called Terrorism. We need to learn to fight the scourge of terrorism together. For which we need to first Get Out Of Disputes amongst ourselves. There is always a first time. And most importantly, there is still some hope.

Wishing all people Getting Out Of D's GOOD luck!

Wishing you all a Happy New Year 2009!

Hope the New Year shows us some GOOD ways of living together

‘GOOD’ as in Get Out Of Dangerous ways of living!


Blogger's Postscript 1: Disclaimer - There are exceptions to the observations. If it does not apply to anyone, it is for this very reason. A few exceptions often go to prove the overall trends cited.
Blogger's Postscript 2: Recent events have compelled me to post some of my thoughts related to important matters that affect our life. Do expect some of these off and on and not as another attempt at 'di-worse-ification'.

Kasab is not a Pakistani!

I would like to begin my post with the findings of a little bit of reading and a small study, that I conducted recently, which incidentally, is also the title.

The result:
Kasab is not a Pakistani!

Already I can imagine a crowd in front of me shouting:
“How come?”
“Are you influenced by one Mr. AR Antulay?”
“You’re out of your mind!”
“You’re a traitor!”
“You are with the enemy country!”
“Are you joining politics?”

Why, not only my own friends and fellow bloggers, well-wishers, even my own family members might launch a counter-attack on my utterance! My wife would say, “Enough of that What nonsanz, now, this is getting too much!”

My daughter, in her inimitable style would say, “Oh, You’ve lost it all!”

But let me repeat it for you:
Kasab is not a Pakistani!

What makes me arrive at such an unpopular, outrageous, ridiculous conclusion? Do I have any evidence to this so -called finding?

Of course I do. To understand what I mean, read the news item that appeared in the newspapers after Amir Ajmal or Mohammad Ajmal or Mohammad Ajmal Iman …..or whatever his name…(several newspapers are calling him by different names), was caught alive after the CST killings in Mumbai.

Perhaps you have read it too!

But I reproduce the relevant text below for you:

Excerpt from the article below:
According to a source, when the crime branch personnel asked Ajmal Amir for his surname, he said he didn't have one. This put the policemen in a quandary as the officials always record the surname of a complainant in the FIR.

They then used the "Indian way'' to get around this hurdle. As several Indians have derived their surnames from their traditional profession-such as Mali for gardners, Kumbhare for potters among others-the policemen decided to do the same with Mohammed Ajmal.

They asked him for his father's profession and learnt that he was a butcher-the officials then entered his surname as Kasab (Urdu for butcher).

Ok, so there you have it!

Kasab is not his name. He got it here from the Mumbai Police! They christened him!

I wonder if they had a small little ceremony, perhaps not, since the TV didnt cover it!
But their seniors must have loved the name.
The electronic media certainly loved the name.
The newspapers too loved the name.
Mind you, each and every newspaper and TV channel calls him Kasab!
Kasab - nothing else!

That’s not all.
The Indian Government loved the name.
Everyday they claim “Kasab is a Pakistani!”

And guess what? The Pakistani Government loved it too!
Oh they just loved us for that favor!
Every day they emphasise:
“Kasab is not a Pakistani!”
Because there was no person by name of “Kasab” involved in the terror attack!
They may have looked up the record of those born and/or residing in Faridkot by the name of "Kasab". So that one could stand the most stringent international scrutiny!

The Pak Government is now happily chanting
“Kasab is not a Pakistani!”
So isnt that right?

They are only saying “Kasab is not a Pakistani”. Nothing else!

Because, my dear ones, the arrested terrorist, is not “Kasab”.

If the report about the origin of the new name, ‘Kasab’, awarded by the Mumbai Police is true, which I suppose it would be, would it not have been better to have avoided its reference in future news items? Would it not be prudent to stick to the name declared by the arrested individual in all future legal proceedings instead of the name thrust upon him?

I do hope you will not ask, “What’s in a name?”

So, until the authorities put an end to what they gave birth to on Indian soil, which I very much hope they do, let me say "Merry Christmas, 'Kasab'!". After all it is just a brand new name!

I hope things are set right and that I wouldn't have to wish 'Kasab' for the coming new year too!

To end my post, I cite a quote that comes to mind:
I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. ~Charles C. Finn

Vote for me @ Dubbagol!

The Satyam about a Monkey attack!

Just to prove Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution wrong, several humans are making rapid progress in the opposite direction.

Last Sunday morning, during my morning walk in the Sanjay Gandhi National Park at Borivli, I decided to buy some ‘tadgolas’ – those juicy small fruits that grow on palm trees! I bought some for me and my family on my way back from the vendor inside the park. Within a few minutes, I saw a couple of monkeys as I usually do at that spot. But this time, they saw me! They began running towards me – one from the front and another from my right side. Immediately, I could see them eyeing the parcel of fruits I was carrying. At once, I realized that they would snatch it away…the plastic bag was flimsy and it would be a matter of moments before the simian offender would successfully pull it away. In order to avoid the impending attack, I threw the plastic bag away and the monkeys chased the bag and helped themselves, as I hurried away.

I turned behind to see if anyone had seen my predicament. Yes, there was this guy, who complimented me for my presence of mind and throwing away the parcel! It all had happened so suddenly that I wished I could take a picture of the monkeys, but then I may have lost something more valuable too…besides it happened all to fast!

So I took another round and came back to take a pic of one eating my tadgola!


The incident reminded me of the recent attempt to frisk away the cash sitting in the books of Satyam Computers Ltd. How different was it from the above cited experience? Wasn’t I thinking my purchase was safe since I had paid for it and that I would be sharing it with my family and not some monkey and his kin and kith? Wasn’t the monkey in the process of executing its plan without even a cursory request to me to handover what it needed? Wasn’t my feeling of security just a myth and wasn’t this monkey showing it to me in galloping glory that it wasn’t? What would happen if I had to complain about the monkey to the park authorities? Would they not tell me that there was no legal recourse to monkeys stealing fruits in the park – that there weren’t sufficient provisions in the law to protect me from monkey attacks? Wouldn’t I feel that “Ok, this one was not destined for my tummy?” And say “Daane Daane pe likha hai khanewale ka naam”.., which means, every grain bears the name of the person destined to eat it!

The small investors’ plight is no better. The management planned to ‘di-worse-ify’ into hitherto unrelated areas and defraud individual investors for the benefit of the promoters and projects taken up by the promoter’s sons. Misplaced feelings of security in equity and professional management can result in the same loss or theft. Wouldn’t you be holding dud shares, while the contents – the cash sitting in the books - have been wiped out surreptitiously?

The two incidents have several dissimilarities too. For one, human beings are supposed to be civilized and not expected to behave like simians living in forests. Secondly, you have trusted the management to take care of your fruits of labor - the amounts involved are huge probably part of your lifetime savings not just a snacking fruit for a Sunday morning. Moreover thankfully they could not pull it off due to the uproar in the media! The only regret was that the merged entity “Satyam-Maytas” would have been a perfect palindrome!

But individual investors suffered anyway – from the loss due to the fall in the share prices on the stock market as global investors lost confidence in the management of the company. Finally I thanked god for not having invested in Satyam shares. For if I did, I would have to say “Aane aane pe likha hai paanewale ka naam”, which means, every anna (an old 6-paisa coin) bears the name of who will earn it! (My own coinage!...there he goes again!)

As I write this post, CNN IBN is announcing the ban imposed by World Bank on the company on account of data theft, bribery and god-knows-what-else!Which is why I said at the very beginning,
“Just to prove Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution wrong, several humans are making rapid progress in the opposite direction”

As I turned back to go, with the thoughts of betrayal of trust on part ot the Satyam management, I saw a grazing young deer cross the road peacefully in front of me. It walked slowly unmindful of me approaching it. Trust the innocent young deer to show its faith in me. The grown up ones always scamper away when they see me coming! Dear deer!

Anagram Genius in Mumbai!

For someone who has been fascinated with words and the finer nuances of language, solving crosswords have been a learning process apart from being recreationally satisfying. When in school, I was learning to crack the grid like puzzles which would appear in newspapers from my seniors. That is when I learnt about anagrams.

So when we children were invited to play a game named “Treasure Hunt” in which places in and around the Saraswat Colony, Santacruz, Mumbai (that is where I lived and grew up for 30 years) were to be discovered through clues, one could easily crack one: “Banana Rack” – quickly we headed to the newly opened Canara Bank branch in the vicinity!

For anyone with a passion for crossword puzzles, anagrams would be elementary stuff. Your heart could turn to earth; you may have married your admirer. To most of us, nuclear deals would be unclear deals. You would flaunt your skills so much so that your talent would no longer be latent. You would certainly know that Parliament consists of Partial men, and that Clint Eastwood represents Old West Action and unanimously agree that Mother-in-law is really Woman Hitler!

Back then, without the aid of anagram generators, one would find the hooked ones jot down a set of letters in random fashion and set a-thinking. No clue? Jumble them up once again – all with a pencil and paper - until you either crack it or discover that the clue was not an anagram trick this time around! Jumbling at a click of a mouse was not possible, as is possible now! Those of you who have played a game of “Twirl” on Facebook, in which you form words from a set given alphabets, you will know what I mean.

One of the early anagrams I was fascinated with was the title of a lesson in our text-book “Flit on Cheering Angel”, a lovely lesson about Florence Nightingale!

About Anu Garg
Anurag Garg, better known as Anu Garg, began sending emails providing useful information about words and their origins, which became so popular that he founded Wordsmith.org in 1994. It was a time when there was no ready blogging platform nor any email subscription features for your readers. So Anu combined his knowledge of computer programming and servers with his passion for words and the language to dish out delicacies of the literary kind for hungry minds, day after day. He used the server to serve several passionate enthusiasts by developing the anagram generator and other such features which can be explored on his website Wordsmith.org.

The world just needed a couple of servers of the right kind to get together to serve mankind! Pun intended! What can one say... when one fails to find the right word to describe his contribution?

Read more about him in these interviews and articles featured in NY Times and in the Seattle Times.

If you are someone who loves words, word origins and word play, you will love Anu Garg’s website Wordsmith.org! It is a treasure of well-researched and presented facts, trivia and fun about words in the English language – their origin, usage, quotes and more!

You could even subscribe to their A.Word.A.Day email, which will enrich you with the immense knowledge that Anu Garg has been sharing with linguaphiles, every day for the past 14 years!

His phenomenal work in the field of anagrams inspired this contribution by a fan of his website, Eric Shackle goes thus:
Name is Anu Garg = Anagram Genius

Here is a list of popular anagrams listed for your reading pleasure!

Some popular anagrams from prominent personalities can be found in another website, Fun-with-Words.com.
You couldn’t have missed the Nice Silky woman = Monica Lewinsky, did you?

Anu Garg, a resident of Seattle USA is currently in Mumbai!

Being a subscriber of his website for A.Word.A.Day, I was thrilled to read that Anu Garg is in Mumbai! I immediately wrote to him expressing my desire to meet him in person. It gives me great pleasure to tell you that we did meet, today,i.e. 20th December 2008, for a couple of hours, for which I am always so grateful to him for giving me this opportunity!

Writers, bloggers, word-play enthusiasts, language lovers and just about anybody who is interested would be pleased to know that Anu Garg will be delivering a lecture on Indian languages and the English language at the Crossword Book Store at Kemps Corner, Mumbai on the 2nd January 2009 - 7.00 pm onwards! How about coming over and listening to this genius provide us great insights into his in-depth research so that we can learn more and understand our languages better? Do come over! You may also pass on the invitation to anyone who would be interested in the subject. I would request fellow-bloggers to provide a link to this blogpost so that one would know what to expect in the event. Thank you, fellow bloggers!

A couple of pictures taken in Mumbai below:
1. A picture of Anu Garg


2. A picture of us both


I must thank Anu Garg for his time and the experiences he shared with me during our meet today! Several anagrams quoted as examples from Wordsmith.org!

Snowball Sentences

A Mumbai-ite does not experience snowfall in his city. Let alone snowfall, winters are getting warmer in the maximum city than ever before!

My post, though, is about snowball sentences.

A snowball sentence is a sentence where each word is one letter longer than the previous one.

As the story goes, a father explained to his ten year old daughter, “A snowball sentence is one in which each word is one letter longer than the preceding word. Do you think you can make a snowball sentence?”
His daughter thought for several minutes before saying,
'I am not that smart, Father.'

I am sure you would have observed that the daughter unknowingly replied in a snowball sentence! Without even realising it, she had constructed a Snowball sentence!

My humble effort to extend this sentence as follows:
I am not that smart father dearest although unknowing surprising fantabulous construction mathemagical inventiveness…
(any takers to help me continue?)

A "snowball sentence" contrived by Dmitri Borgmann - each word is one letter longer than the last:
I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness.
(20 words)

Other snowball sentences:
O to see man's stern poetic thought publicly expanding recklessly imaginative mathematical inventiveness, openmindedness unconditionally superfecundating nonantagonistical hypersophisticated interdenominational interpenetrabilities
(20 words)

The longest known snowball sentence is 21 words long:

I am the Lord Jesus Christ, Supreme, Almighty, allseeing, allknowing, allpowerful, transcendant, everlastingly resurrectional, allencompassing, incomprehensible, transubstantiated, metacosmologically supradenominational, tetragrammatonically disestablishmentarian.
(21 words)

Read each of them carefully - they actually make sense!

Interestingly, a very popular short snowball sentence that everyone is very fond of is "I do not know", though many of us distort it to "I don't know", because they really dont know that they are destroying a perfect little snowball sentence!

If you know any snowball sentence, please post it in my comment space. I will feature it in my future post. You could even form one yourself! (Do I hear you say Limericks were easier?)

Blogger's Postscript 1:
George Bush, POTUS, has experienced "shoefall" in Iraq! I am sure you would have seen that on TV. Else you can see it here.

Blogger's Postscript 2:
Dogs are up in arms again! Hurling shoes at President George Bush and becoming a hero with a couple of shoe-strokes is one thing. But this Iraqi journalist, Muntazer Al-Zaidi, saying "It is the farewell kiss, you dog" is quite another! Canines cant take such insults anymore! Apparently my previous post "Animal Qualms" needs wider publicity!

Fresh Limericks - Just out of the oven!

“True wisdom is found on T-Shirts”, one reads on T Shirts and “True creativity is found in the comments section of blogs”, that’s what I find equally true.

Sample these limericks posted in the comments section of my blog by friends/fellow-bloggers. I am posting them here because many of the readers don’t read my comments section and they deserve to be delivered through feedburner!

Limericks from my comments section:
Mavin’s limerick on the terrorist attack in Mumbai
That was an audacious attack,
Which took all of us aback,
A firece battle ensued,
Finding all of us to our TV's glued
Egging us on for a determined fightback

Mavin’s limerick on Narayan Rane’s predicament
There was this leader – Narayan Rane,
Senselessly arguing on subjects most – inane,
Deprived of being the Chief Minister,
Now attributes it to forces sinister,
And he is left storming like a hurricane.

IHM’s limerick about Security for the common man :
We would pleased and so willingly forgive
If only we could trust their motive
When they’re kind, full of pity
If they give us their security
and if they'd risk dying so we can live.

Sumitra (Suma) Kaushik’s limerick about Anil’s (Mavin’s) limericks and my blog !
Wow, great limericks indeed, Anil,
Reading gave me too the fun feel,
Great blog for battered minds Gopi dear,
Sure it will bring in some cheer,
Else in life whats the big deal?

Sumitra (Suma) Kaushik’s limerick about the scathing attack on politicians after the terror attacks:
Dont worry about those who came by boat,
But about those who came by vote.
They're our real enemies
Isn't it? Tell me please
They only give us shame & disgrace, I quote

Vinod K Sharma’s limerick about a journo with malicious intent;
Journo Vir Sanghvi yells loudly about India's small middle class
The one he belongs to, not the one that is illiterate and crass
With his usual malicious intent
He laments it is now impotent
Alas, 11/26 has exposed at last India's devious "muddled class”

Ramesh Srivats’ limerick on the predicament of our PM:
Manmohan just can't win at political poker,
'Cause his deck's stacked with sleazy brokers.
So when he sacks one retard,
And pulls out another card,
It always turns out to be yet another joker.

Paul Venier’s funny limerick “on how to save on alimony?”
A fireman feigning concern,
As the building continued to burn.
'Cause gone was the life,
Of his nasty ex-wife
And his alimony payments in turn.

(incidentally, Paul Venier is the author of a book on limericks and also a standup tornado comedian)

Bloggers’ limericks on other Bloggers

Mavin’s limerick about Vinod Sharma
There was a blogger called Vinod Sharma,
Who vent his spleen to clear his Karma,
A scholar to the boot,
Fortified himself daily with arrowroot,
And can be a deadly charm-a.

Mavin’s limerick about Priyank Thatte
There is this handsome bloke Priyank,
On whom we bank,
For those lovely tales,
Of distant mystic vales,
Yes! It is him we have to thank.

Priyank Thatte’s limerick about my blog
Your blog is a laughter brick,
Look how nicely you do the trick,
It always seems jerky,
Whenever I attempt poetry,
Thank you for teaching us the limerick


Awards for my blog!
Krishnan conferred an award to my blog as you can see below!
(I will confer this to other bloggers in my next post!)


Incidentally, Sahaja conferred a beautiful Butterfly Award to my blog! The beautiful butterfly i have posted in the side panel on the right side!
I confer the Butterfly Award to all the following fellow bloggers along with a limerick for each of them as below :-



My limerick for Mavin - “My voice”
There’s this blogger who calls himself Mavin
Lots of knowledge and ideas he’s havin’,
About simple finance
That we need to enhance,
We’re waiting for his posts, oh, in fact, cravin’,

My limerick for Nita - “A wide angle view of India”
A wide angle view, as you all know,
Is offered by this professional journo,
It’s devoured with pleasure
And preserved as a treasure
We now depend on her, for what we know.

My limerick for Indian Home Maker – “The life and times of an Indian Home Maker”
A blogger who calls herself Indian Home Maker,
picks up an issue and is quite a raker,
Now there is a rumour
That she'll take up humour,
One wonders if she is also an overtaker?

My limerick for Vinod Sharma – “India Retold”
If you don’t know the politics of the land,
It’s all there in his blog, neatly canned,
Just click and explore
and plenty will pour
That he’s researched, analyzed and panned

My limerick for Satish Acharya - “The world of an Indian Cartoonist”
A young mumbaikar called Satish,
did follow his heart’s wish,
with leader’s offering
fodder for his cartooning
He developed what was his fetish

My limerick for Sahaja – “Smile… An Everlasting Smile…”
Her posts often about nature’s surprise
Delight readers of her blog, lovely sunrise
While urging us to smile,
She finds all the while
Beauty, in every little thing, that’s so nise

My limerick for Krishnan – “Musings & Miscellany”
His blog, called musings and miscellany,
Finds readers come over, o so many,
A surprise awaits you
in posts, that amaze you
And you’re clamouring for more miscellany.

My limerick for “Swaps”- “My home – its beauty”
This blogger from Maisuru called “Swaps”,
captures nature and posts lovely snaps
but about the gender,
It’s a mind bender
Causing quite a few miss-haps

My limerick for Priyank – “Final Transit ”
A bag-packer, who calls his blog Final Transit
Who roams the world, and would never sit
His every travel tale
Do seldom fail
To make you wish he is perpetually in transit!

My limerick for Ramesh Shrivats- “Let’s put da”
There’s this guy who says “Let’s put da”
Who has now begun to say “Let’s Twitter da”
“Why da, not dee?”
“Oh let me see
If dee would’ve been better than da!”
(for those who may not know, “da” is like ‘re’ or 'guys', refers to males and “dee” for refers to females as in 'gals'

My limerick for Rambodoc “A Twist of Word and Mind”
There’s this blogger called Rambodoc
Who thinks for a funny, round the clock
On getting an idea,
He plants it insidea
And waits for you to say, “You Rock!”

Rambodoc provided the link to his posts on limericks – a must read.And now the Grande Finale on limericks!

I discovered Aparna Ray’s blog (though Rambodoc’s link), which posts a limerick based on a news snippet, as it happens!
Wow! A news- in-limerick blog!
There are loads of them – quite a treat, believe me and do check them out, if you haven’t already!

My limerick for Aparna Ray
I just discovered a certain Ms Ray,
Who writes a limerick each day,
Her love for this form
No one did inform
I learnt she’s been posting them from ’05 May!

For each of the awardees of the Butterfly Award conferred for me, here are some lines to tell you what you need to do:
Just pick up the beautiful butterfly
It’s not the time to wonder why
You deserve, I think
But do provide my link!
So my blog does not remain dry
[and you may also confer it to anyone who deserves it
– I am just trying to revert back to writing prose!]

Bloggers’ Post Script: Some of you, like Mavin, Sahaja, (perhaps others too), would have already received a Butterfly Award from others, but have you ever seen a garden with just one butterfly?

More on the lure of limericks

Mischief is the soul of a limerick. George Bernard Shaw once observed about the trend to write the limericks which were not lewd, obscene or naughty were “good attempts, but could not rise above the mediocre”.

Some spicy ones listed below:
There was a young man with a hernia,
Who said to his surgeon, "Goldernia,
While improving my middle,
Be sure you don't fiddle
With matters that do not concernia."
- Heywood Hale Broun

A young lass met a Mr.
Who held her gently and Kr.
But in spite
That very nite
The Mr. Kr. Sr.

There once was a person from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, "Why a third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!"
Dixon Lanier Merritt
(1879-1972)

There once was an old man from Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

A really naughty one that I came across:
There was this young lady named Valerie,
Who began to count on her calorie
Said her boss in disgust,
“if you lose half your bust,
You’ll be worth only half your salarie”

There are numerous limericks listed on several websites.
Let me share with you some web links which list out such ludicrous limericks.
Less ludicrous limericks in thinks.com

More ludicrous limericks in thinks.com

Some really dirty limericks here - you excercise the option!

Reminding readers and all fellow bloggers, who may or may not have commented on my blog! You may post some limericks either your own or that you have come across on recent events or about other bloggers, too. My next post on the limericks by friends and fellow-bloggers!

The Foot-in-Mouth Disease

[Notice: This is not a humorous piece except for some limericks at the end of it. The cautionary statement implies that my other posts were supposed to be…. Didnt know, did you?]

When fellow-blogger Indian Home Maker (IHM) asked me “No post on the politician’s gaffe?” I had responded to her that it was no laughing matter and that I had no intention of posting what everyone is already reading about in the press and the reports on TV.

But when I read this editorial in Times of India, “Learn to Talk – Politicians must be trained to handle mass media”, dated 4th December 2008, I was prompted to write a letter to the Editor, TOI, which may not get published due to their perpetual shortage of print space. I produce it below, exclusively for my blog readers!

Text of my letter sent to the Editor TOI

“This refers to the editorial “Learn to Talk – Politicians must be trained to handle mass media” (Dec 4). One wonders whether these incidents were a result of inadequacy of skills in dealing with the mass media at all? For once, the general public got a glimpse of what goes on in their minds, when the moment of truth arrived suddenly, unannounced.

RR Patil couldn’t have thought that the oft-repeated dialogue in a Bollywood block-buster DDLJ, (which goes something like “itne bade desh mein aisi chhoti choti batein hoti rehti hain”), would entertain the aam admi, did he? I would tend to agree with him if he had truthfully agreed that “Aise haadse hote rahte hain”, because that indeed is what is happening! And again, that is exactly what we are up in arms against, and the entire public is seeking your action against!

You just need to be a sensitive citizen to say “I understand the loss suffered by Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan’s father and empathise with him in his loss” instead of referring to the canines calling on them..

In fact one expects all politicians to say “We understand your anger, you are justified and we need to pull up our socks and put our house in order” instead of defending themselves. Would any training be necessary to teach them this elementary stuff? I beg to differ that they need skills to face the media. Would we need an institute to teach our politicians basic human values of compassion, respect, concern for public, accountability? If so, go ahead and build that institute - the one that sets their thinking right!”

Friends, my last post being that on limericks, I was tempted to write a limerick based on this episode too, which goes thus:-

Our leaders speak at length with ease,
we have to beg them to stop, “o, please!”
With the recent attacks,
the best of wisecracks
got infected by the foot-in-mouth disease!
[That’s me getting better each day - always wanting to improve,ahem!]

Blogger’s Post Script
1. Readers may pardon my posting serious articles here. I cannot resist it with such overwhelming feelings overcoming my thoughts daily. As Prasoon Joshi says “Is baar Nahin”. I may keep posting something about our struggle and sharing our success which is imminent.

2. Friends, I have some really spicy, naughty limericks that I will put up only after you all send me one limerick each (at least)! Now this tag is for all my readers and all fellow bloggers, who may or may not have commented on my blog!

Having provided you with the bare basics
there is no such thing as a quick-fix.
Please sit down and think
and maybe, have a drink,
so you can send some funny, naughty limericks
[Oh that’s me again! The drink will not be sponsored by me]

The Lure of Limericks

Mavin has posted another limerick in the comments section of my last post! Taking me back to my schooldays - nostalgic memories of relishing this poetic form of humor! That is the best you can do to a bruised mind battered with violent scenes on TV lately. So how about some soothing balm for it all?

What is a limerick?
A limerick is a five-line poem in which the first, the second and fifth line rhyme with each other and have seven to ten syllables each. The third line rhymes with the fourth and have five to seven syllables each.

Originally popularized in English by Edward Lear. Limericks are witty, humorous, and sometimes obscene, but with humorous intent.

Example of a limerick - A limerick about limericks.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
[Source: Wikipedia Author: unknown]

Gershon Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly collection, held that the true limerick, "as a folk form is always obscene".

History of the Limerick – The oldest of ‘em all
The limerick form can be traced back several hundred years. The oldest recorded poem fitting the metrical pattern is in Latin from Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274).
Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

Translated into Enlish means:
Let my viciousness be emptied,
Desire and lust banished,
Charity and patience,
Humility and obedience,
And all the virtues increased

Variants of the form of poetry referred to as Limerick poems can be traced back to the fourteenth century English history. Limericks were used in Nursery Rhymes and other poems for children. But as limericks were short, relatively easy to compose and bawdy or sexual in nature they were often repeated by beggars or the working classes in the British pubs and taverns of the fifteenth, sixteenth and seventh centuries. The poets who created these limericks were therefore often drunkards! Limericks were also referred to as dirty.

Where does the term 'Limerick' come from?
The word derives from the Irish town of Limerick. Apparently a pub song or tavern chorus based on the refrain "Will you come up to Limerick?" where, of course, such bawdy songs that were later called 'Limericks' were sung.

Give me some examples!
When a youngster would ask me for an example, I would provide some educational limericks.
What a wonderful bird is a Pelican,
His bill holds more food than his belican.
He can take in his beak,
Food for more than a week,
I just wonder how the helican.

You would have noted that the spellings are incorrect. 'belican' = belly can and 'helican' = hell he can. Spellings have been changed to add to the comical effect here. If you look at this pic of a pelican below you'll see for yourself that its quite true too!

[Picture source: Google Images]

Another educational one that explains the Theory of relativity of Einstein;
A rocket inventor named Bright
Once traveled much faster than light.
He started one day
In the relative way
And returned the previous night.

Some rather interesting, clean ones that could be handed out to youngsters are listed below:
There were three little birds in a wood
Who always sang hymns when they could.
What the words were about
You could never make out,
But you felt it was doing them good.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'
[Edward Lear]

There was an old man of Peru
who dreamt he ate a shoe.
He woke in the night
with a terrible fright
And found out that it was quite true.

There once was a young girl named Jill.
Who was scared by the sight of a drill.
She brushed every day
So her dentist would say,
“Your teeth are so perfect; no bill.”

Since I had never penned a limerick of my own, I attempted my first one which goes thus:
Having taken up the challenge to write
I Stayed up all day and night,
to write a verse
for bad or worse
I just hoped I could get this right!
[Gopinath Mavinkurve - Hey that's me!]

Hey I got it right, right? That may not be so elegant but that was fun!
Don’t they say that limericks are generally mischievous, naughty, lewd and almost obscene? Yes several of them are. I would select some more and post some of them selectively sometime soon. So gathering some courage, I penned another:

“Should I tell them or just play a trick?”
He scratched his head, this maverick,
A really naughty one,
Just for the fun,
Oh, such is the lure of a limerick!
[Gopinath Mavinkurve - Hey that's me again!]

If you have come across a really good, interesting limericks, do post them in the comments section! I will post them along with my collection. You could even pen one yourself! Due credit/mention of contributor/author will be given
Just try it out - It is easy - Look, even I did it!

Credits for sources have been provided wherever available

Tight security needed please!

You dont have to switch on the TV Channels these days to hear about the anger that is evident among Indians about the helplessness and frivolously equipped security agencies and cops in Mumbai. Everybody in trains, buses, canteens, offices are talking about it. The newspapers are reporting how woefully inadequate is the provision of ammunition and how outdated and ineffective they are.

There are reports about lack of training facilities like practice shooting tracks and several cops not having fired a single practice shot in the last several decades! Appalling to say the least. We cannot expect our lathi-wielding cops to take on well-trained, well-equipped specially trained terrorists, can we? The problem of lack of training and practice is so acute that it has been reported in the press that a veterinarian doctor once called the police to fire a tranquilliser bullet into an elephant and the poor cop missed the elephant from a distance of 10 feet!

Against this backdrop, we find that the worthless politicians get Z-Security to protect themselves. While we get ZZZzzz Security! Mumbai Cartoonist Satish Acharya, whose cartoons are regularly published in Mid-Day has so beautifully created this cartoon from an idea provided by me. Collaborative blogging! Thanks, Satish.

We need some tighter Security please! And when I mean "tight" it is not the type where the security gulps down some spirits and gets "tight", for heaven's sake!

Do sign on this online petition to press for some real action! Let us not ZZZZZZzzzzzz over an important matter needing urgent attention!

Do Vote for me at Dubbagol!