My Internet Chat with Ganapati Bappa!

I have been spending several hours with my laptop ever since I have begun to write with a renewed vigor early this year.
My daughter tells me that I am addicted!
My learned friend tells me that I have become a mouse potato!

“A mouse potato? What’s that?’, I ask.

“If you know that a ‘couch potato’ is one who slouches in his couch and watches Television all day, it would not be easy to understand ‘mouse potato’ – it is a person who spends a considerable amount of time with his computer!”

Indeed, in an effort to become Somebody, I have become a mouse potato!

Anyway, let me get on with my post.
The Ganapati Visarjan on Anant Chaturdashi, which ends the ten day festivities of Ganesh Chaturthi, celebrated with much fanfare in the state of Maharashtra, is a spectacular event.

A week later, I was surfing the net for some information, as I always do, when my Messenger flashed a Message:

“Ganapati Bappa is now online”
[Bappa, Marathi for Uncle]

Me: “My Pranams to you, Ganapati Bappa!” I typed in and waited.
Ganapati Bappa (GB): “Hi”, the reply came in!
Me: “Great pleasure, Ganapati Bappa! Nice to have you online ”
GB: “Wassup?”
Me: “Wow! You’re so modern!”
GB: “Oh, well, I come down so often .. that’s how the kids greet each other, isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes, I was just google-searching for some information”
GB: “Oh Google-searching, nice way to spread knowledge and information. This year the IT folks even sung the ‘Google Aarti’ after my Aarti, - I understand how it is!”

Me: “Bappa, some newspapers reported that in the effort to make idols eco-friendly, you have had to slim lately….”
GB: “Oh, how I would love to…you guys in Maharashtra are so innovative! Make me eco-friendly. If I need to slim down, so be it… I am game. No Plaster of Paris or toxic chemicals to make me look bright.Not good for the environment. I want my bhakts (devotees) to live in a clean environment”

Me: “I wonder how you react to the music in you pandals (enclosures)…”
GB: “I love to hear all those songs in praise of my virtues. But people should also have concern for the residents living near the pandal and reduce the decibel level of the blaring sound system. I am not hard of hearing, I love soft music. A lower volume would serve us all very well. I do not desire to be a cause of nuisance to the old and infirm senior citizens due to the blaring music systems!”

Me: “What about the filmy songs that follow…how do you react to that?”
GB: “Well…Hmmm… If I am with you for ten days, I have to bear with some of your nonsense, don’t I? This year it was ‘Touch me, Touch me, Touch me’”

I just got the urge to log off. I just hoped Bappa was not angry –he would vent out his ire on me…. But stayed on…

Me: “Don’t you feel offended when such songs are belted out at some pandals?”
GB: “ Well…… I have my senses under control. My rat will not stray! So should all of my bhakts. Do not get distracted by songs or by gutkha ads at my pandal”



(The rat sitting obediently signifies control over your emotions and senses)




Me: “Indeed, Ganapati Bappa, you are so much in control and we need to learn from you”.



GB: “Then there was this song ‘Appu Cant Dance’…”

I was confused and did not know how to react!
GB: “I think they were trying to tease me because I can’t dance”

I remained Silent again. There was no place to hide from the Almighty!

GB: “They call an elephant ‘Appu’, isn’t it?”

I thought hard what was it that our Dear Ganapati Bappa was annoyed with? That Appu couldn’t dance? Oh wait a minute I thought…tried to get the words right. Hey, It was not ‘Appu’ but ‘Pappu’ I concluded!
Me: “That’s Pappu – not Appu, our beloved Bappa! The song talks of Pappu…”, I typed in excitedly.
GB: “Who Pappu?”
Me: “Some Pappu …maybe the Pappu, who passes the exams and Amitabh Bacchan dances and distributes Cadbury Chocolates… I don’t know…”
GB: “Oh, I thought they were trying to tease me and elephants that we cant dance and that my slimming down was not quite enough?”
Me: “Not at all, Bappa! Not at all”
GB; “Appu can dance! Who says Elephants can’t Dance? Haven’t you read the book by Louis V. Gerstner Jr?
Me: “Of course, Yes… that was in reference to the Global Mega Corporation, IBM.”
GB: “India is also being referred to as Elephant, just as China is being called ‘Dragon’”

I was amazed with His knowledge of current affairs, but it would be foolish to show my surprise that the God of Wisdom and Learning knows! He who had broken learnt to write with His broken tusk.... Of course, He would know!
GB: “Elephants can certainly dance… and India will dance… some years hence it will be time to write a book ‘The Elephant Does Dance’ and the elephant in this book would be referring to India!”

With these blessings from Ganapati Bappa for all Indians, I typed in my goodbye message.
Me: “Ganapati Bappa Morya! Pudhchya Varshi Lavkar Ya!”

[Marathi for ‘Ganapati Uncle be praised! Next year, do come early!’]
A customary way we Maharashtrian folk hail the Harbinger of good times, the Remover of obstacles, the Elephant-faced God so Dear to our hearts!
I continue to pray that mankind does take heed of Dear Ganapati Bappa's messages to us in the chat with me!

Bloggers Post Script:

This blog is the proud winner of the Third Prize in a contest run by LVS in BlogCatalog!
Three cheers for the Third Prize for my "Artickles" Blog!
Many thanks, LVS! We hope you continue to encourage bloggers like us by posting more competitions on BlogCatalog!

Wanna Be Somebody?

The complete unedited version of the article appeared in the Times of India dated 10th September 2008 for my blog readers below:

Many years ago, when asked by a friend’s acquaintance how he could get in touch with me, one presented one’s visiting card bearing office and residential addresses and phone numbers. He had a quick look at the card and, studying the coordinates detailed in my card, responded that it was of no good if it didn't bear my e-mail address!

My friend promptly informed me that times were when anybody who was 'somebody' would have an e-mail address. Not wanting to be 'nobody' for long, it was important to me to rush to the closest computer and plug in to the internet and get myself an e-mail address. Having become 'somebody' with a new personal identity, one sported it on one's visiting cards and even began to ask others if they had one.

It was my turn to ask others, "No e-mail address?" This tag of 'somebody' did not last long though. Soon enough, some chap frowned when he learnt that one did not have an instant messenger in place. "You've just got to download it for free", he informed me. In those days of bandwidth scarcity, it would be hours before the download would give me back my status of being somebody. Another friend would then taste the air of my superiority for not having one for himself.

I learnt soon enough though that 'somebody' had a short shelf life and moved quickly from one possession to another. My instant messenger did not have voice capability, background patterns, couldn’t exchange pictures until upgrades were installed and one could go back to becoming 'somebody' all over again. Soon the instant messenger had to follow me on my cellphone.

Recently, with my increased interest in blogging, it was time to go down that same path again.
“I blog, therefore I am” proclaimed bloggers at a city meet.
“Plain vanilla blog!”, said a fellow blogger.
“No counter? Live traffic indicator?” asked another.

Further questions from fellow bloggers (usually the younger ones)
“No subscription features like RSS?
( For the uninitiated, RSS is not the feed that the BJP subscribes to – it is the feed that readers subscribe to from Bloggers and website when updates are posted)

"No Feedburner?" Why would one want to burn your feed? one may wonder.
This is only a subscription to one's blogposts!
“No Blogrolls?”
“Not yet a member of communities like Digg, Del-icio-us, Technorati?”

Whew!!! So many things to drive traffic! Not for me - I cannot drive anything - I can only drive people mad!

If you ever tread this path, you would come across various terms like Labels (which incidentally are words describing the subject of your post so that they pop up on searching for specific subjects), Live Traffic indicators, Tagging and so on and so forth. Just as one would not know what a poke or a superpoke is until one opens an account in Facebook, Bloggers will learn this only as they go along on their blogging journey!

For a layperson, a separate Dictionary of Blogger’s terms is a need of the hour, I would imagine. It would be helpful if someone puts up the ABCs of Blogging on the internet. If I am entrusted with the task it would go as below :-
‘A’ for ‘Artickles’
‘B’ for ‘Blogs’
‘C’ for ‘Comments’….. and so on.

Nobody wants to remain Nobody - Everybody wants to be Somebody!
That is human nature! My pursuit to be ‘somebody’ in the blogging community continues. Alternating between being nobody and somebody, one wonders if it would be better to remain nobody? Or would my pursuit be much like the journey of the small boy, Santigo, in “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, when all that mattered was the journey and not the destination?

After all my efforts to keep up with the Blogging Joneses, yielded no results - Neither significant Traffic by way of Blog-Hits nor Adsense revenue to justify my indulgence! I finally slumped into my chair - “Give me a life!” I sighed.

“How about ‘Second Life’?”, my daughter piped in opening up a whole new journey!

Some time later... maybe, I thought to my self.

The following lines came to my mind:-“We must not cease from exploring and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time”
– T.S.Eliot’s poem, ‘Little Gidding’ (the fourth of his ‘Four Quartets’)

I am thankful to Krishnan, a fellow blogger to share the below Lewis Carroll's quote in the Comments section:

"Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!" I have blogrolled Krishnan alongside!

Computers to replace Humans?

Last week, when I was out of action due to my illness, I just wondered whether my next blog-post could be generated by a computer. I called up my tech-savvy friend and asked him to find out if that was possible what with rapid strides reported in the field of technology each day. When my friend came back to me with a negative in reply, my joy new no bounds – I felt secure – I would not be declared redundant anytime soon! And this aided my recovery, so here I am back in action!

Recent reports in the media suggest that the outsourcing business enabled by the revolutionary Information Technology would face threats in times to come. Computers have never ceased to amaze us. First they did what humans programmed them to do. Then they connected with others across the world with the humble internet technology giving birth to the worldwide web. With the convergence of telecommunication with computers and internet, the framework for the outsourcing business was ready. Robots have successfully performed mechanical tasks in the automation efforts in manufacturing. Some have even begun talking sensibly to humans and responding to their questions.

Technology is enabling computers and machines to work together to replace human beings? To understand this, one first needs to understand what a human being is all about and what differentiates human beings from other animals and modern machines.

In an effort to understand this phenomenon and its impact in the future, a survey was carried out to list out activities/capabilities that can be attributed to human beings alone.

REPORT BELOW:

The following unique capabilities have been listed out with the corresponding progress in Computers/Technology and the resultant threatened groups as on date :-

Serial No. a Unique Capability possessed by Human Beings
b Progress to replicate in computers / gadgets/ Technology
c Threatened Groups, if efforts were to succeed

1 a. Speak a language
b. Robots can do it.
c. Newsreaders

2. a. Translate from one language to another
b Computers can do it
c.Translation experts

3 a. Record a speech in written text
b.Recent software enables this.
c.Transcriptionists

4 a. Intelligent analysis of facts
b. Computers can do it.
c. All Humans (except blondes)

5 a. Innovation of ideas – or “Ideating” (a new word we hear today)
b.Though work on “Artificial Intelligence” is in progress, no success to report
c. All Intelligent Humans (Thankfully, not me!)

6 a. Telling lies
b. No capability yet
c. All Humans

7 a. Dealing with Money – expecting, receiving, giving, all its ugly forms
b. No reported instance of such behavior observed in any computer or even any other animal except Humans
c. All Humans, including Stock Brokers, Corrupt officials and Politicians, no exceptions.

8 a. The dispensation of law and justice
b. No reported instance of such capability observed in any computer or even any other animals
c. All humans, including Lawyers, Judges, Police officials and Criminals - just clarifying in case you miss out on them.

9 a. The Institution of Marriage and other related acts, because, inspite or otherwise capable of.
b. Not found in any animal other than humans – computers and gadgets are blissfully unaware of this word! (Word? My wise uncle insists that Marriage is not a word – it is a Sentence! (as in “sentence for life”, that is)
c.Heterosexual Humans – Other Humans too want to marry though!

10 a. Engage in Politics
b. Not found in any animal other than humans – computers and gadgets are blissfully unaware of this phenomenon!
c. Politicians, Political observers, Party workers

11 a. Blaming others
b. There has been a stray reported instance, though unproved, from unreliable source (see Bloggers Post-Script below). Status remains “No capability yet”
c. All Humans without any exceptions

12 a. Stupidity – one may find many of the above capabilities as a subset of this main set. But then that's why I put this last.
b.No reported instance of such behavior observed in any computer or even any other animal except Humans. Why do you think Einstein called it “Human Stupidity” of which he was certain of being infinite.
c. All Humans, (especially Humor Bloggers like me)

END OF REPORT

Since I am still convalescing, I cannot claim this study to be complete and perfect. Readers of my blog are encouraged to contribute more such unique human capabilities so that the exercise in Human Stupidity can be taken to greater heights. This can be done by posting your comments.

Go ahead and perform another act of human stupidity!. Be Stupid, Be human!

Bloggers’ Post-Script - Ooops…How could I forget tippling? Many years ago, I penned a futuristic poem in 1981 (I was in my early twenties), which was published in Kanara Saraswat Magazine. Reproduced below for the benefit of my blog readers.


COMPUTER BEHAVIOUR

[News-Item: Computers are beginning to behave like humans. While one seems to have asked for a glass of beer, another put the blame of an error squarely on another computer installed in another department]

A computer, known for its persuasion,
Was fed with a problem during supervision.
Calmly he sat working upon it,
with his metallic eye-brows knit.

For though a problem, however tough,
a moment or two was always enough.
He smiled, said, “This problem indeed is queer,
never before did I need a glass of beer,
I’ll be considered human, I fear,
but I’ll solve this problem, I swear”

There was calm as he sat for a while,
and finally a triumphant smile,
The supervisor who came to check,
seeing the figure, said “What the heck!
I have never known you to have faltered,
a silicon chip will need to be altered”.

There was a smile as yet on the computer’s face,
which is the peculiarity of this invented race.
“I wonder from where you got your figure”,
he retorted, now chewing a Cigar.
“For if it is from another computer”, said he.
The error’s due to him – CERTAINLY NOT ME!”

[Published in the “Kanara Saraswat” Magazine, August 1981]

POT(hole)S of Money!

“Thanks for writing in the papers about the pathetic state of our roads – The State Government has taken serious steps to fill in the pot-holes”, my friend called in to inform.

Serious steps? Had they resolved to use bitumen or some real road construction material in place of that wonderful layer of thick black substance, which would melt away in the first few drops of rain of the magic material which dissolved before you could say “Raindrops”, I wondered? Even before my research team cracked the magic ingredients which they suspected to be black salt and caramelized sugar that would melt away oh, so quickly?

“There is a prize of Rs. 1000/- for anyone who would spot a pothole anywhere in Mumbai!”, my friend announced.

So off I went with my digital camera to record every pothole and make my first Million! That was the next best thing to happen after the Gold Rush, which any way happened before I was born and again in the US, not in Mumbai!

Just around the bend, I almost fell into something very deep! Just to be held back by my dear friend waiting for me to join in. I captured its sheer magnitude in my digital anyway just in case and my friend quickly recorded its geographical coordinates for the sake of filling in some dozen forms that we were certain would be necessary before the State Government could cough up its first dime. “I am afraid they may not qualify this as a pot hole”, he said, “for it resembles a crater on the moon!”. It was quite usual of my buddy to let my hopes go crashing downhill.

The next was only a few metres away and right in the middle of the busy road. The “inter-locking tiles” that one sees of late, had caved in, as though it just could not bear the inflation, of the tyres of the vehicles, I meant!

Pothole after pothole, we clicked away. Until my friend reported his next big problem – how could he possibly identify each and every pothole’s place on earth? Could Google earth help? Could we name them like the Americans name their hurricanes? If numbers could help, how many digit numbers should we use?

I hate questions – especially the ones to which I have no answers! And when someone puts such spokes in my work, I have only one solution to call for a lunch-break! Back home, a few metres away, I switched on the Television set. The newsreader was interviewing a Senior Municipal Official – and the poor guy wanted to know just how could he handle such a large crowd of people, at his home - even on a Sunday, who had been claiming to have spotted pot-holes?

Suddenly his mobile rang and his face brightened up! He turned to the Television crew and told them to have each of these hooligans well covered for him. “Look at the number of people going around and digging up potholes on a perfectly quiet Sunday – all this only for a few bucks!”, he pleaded. " The craters were formed by tumbling Govindas last week. We will fill up the potholes for our Beloved Lord Ganesha, anyway!", he summed up.

The "Spot-A-Pothole" contest disappeared faster than the potholes!

Needless to say, I had a nice Siesta that Sunday afternoon after packing off my friend!

A Tickle after a Tipple!

Curious readers of my blog have been asking me whether there is even an iota of truth in my previous posts! While one reader has not been able to resist the temptation to ask me for my full view photograph after reading “Right in the Middle” and have even (tongue-firmly-in-cheek) commented that Einstein has deceived me by promising to popularize my blog!

Before the Department of Blogging in the Ministry of Communications notifies a rule to declare the contents of my blog, let me voluntarily declare it as follows:

Truth – 8% w/w*
Creative Imagination – 7% w/w
Stupidity – 25% w/w
Deceit, Lies and the like - 25% w/w
Unnecessary words as fillers – qs**

* w/w - word by word **qs – quantity sufficient – balance %

Readers would be curious to know how I tickle post after post with this kind of content. Suspicion has been raised whether my output is the after-effects of some spirits, going by several names and forms and available freely in our country. That I tickle better after a tipple! I am not offended – I understand, given the several virtues attributed to the habit in the media, of late.

Nutritionists and researchers have been discovering several benefits" from consuming these liquids, which make their way to the head before leaving the system from all the pores in one’s body! Want a healthy heart? Want to live a long life? Looking for an aphrodisiac? Want to clear your mind from confusion? Want to reduce your cholesterol with anti-oxidants? Whatever…whatever you may need to improve your health. The one sure shot answer to all your problems is that shot of wine or beer, that you have been branding villainous till date - that is what you are being told.

Newspapers and web pages are agog with reports of recent research findings on the virtues of drinking! The government could ban advertisements but not surrogate ads. So we had music cassettes, holidays, party organizers, rock bands and what-have-you masquerading as proxy spirits. But nothing to beat the idea of “research findings”. “Cheap ma Cheap ave Best ma Best!”, as my gujju friend puts it! It is a world of ideas!

Before you begin to throw stones at researchers, think again. When a visionary scientist first announced to the world excitedly the earth was round not flat, he was stoned as they thought he was a lunatic! While we have Thomas L. Friedman boldly declaring "The World is Flat" to make his millions! So just don’t pick up that stone yet and think about the discovery of a Raam-Baan Upaay, as they say in Marathi -a panacea for all ills (except, for the liver – pun intended!)

Another research finds that plain water (with 0.00000008% pesticide, of course) offers the same benefits as Beer with 8% alcohol content! But it is not getting much attention - we are in a different business, I hope you understand!

A researcher friend has confided in me and shared the latest subject of his research - the effect of wine and beer on dogs! Why dogs? Well, don’t you know the crisis befallen upon the BMC authorities in Mumbai and the animal welfare activists when a stray dog bit a 9-year old girl? BMC Mumbai has slapped a fine of Rs. 500 on any one who feeds dogs with biscuits, bones and food meant for human consumption! But there is no fine yet on feeding them on wine or beer! Hence the necessity (read: opportunity for some)…and you can bet that the researchers will come to the conclusion that “dogs never bite after a tipple, as they do after a meal of biscuits, bones and food meant for human consumption”. I hope you understand how it all works!

I am looking for the venue and time of the PETA demonstration in town to highlight the issue - what with delicate, delectable humans trying to connect with the other animals of the world, by shedding their threads in public - all for a good cause!

Bloggers Note 1 : I solemnly declare that this is not an invitation to drink. Even if one thinks it is, it would be foolish to expect me to pay the bill. A related joke in this respect that I had read somewhere goes thus:

A bully entered a bar and announced to the pleasure of all present – “When I drink, everyone drinks” and ordered a drink for all.

When the bill came around, he said “ When I pay, everybody pays”

Bloggers Note 2 : I get high on Plain water with 0.00000008% pesticide. It works just as well.

Blogger’s Note 3 : Management students call it “statistics”, Magicians call it “illusion”, Lawyers call it “evidence (or lack of it); Politicians call it “speech”; authors call it “fiction”; Bloggers, like me call it “Creative Writing”; and businesses call it “research”!

If readers call it “Lies” so be it! We dont like this four-letter word.

Announcing My Brand New Blog - No jokes!

Dear Friends,

When I began blogging earlier this year, I had been posting light humorous write-ups based on common observations and not-very common thinking in a manner that would attract readers.

From the feedback that poured in, it is safe to assume that I have achieved my objective to give my blog a purpose – to tickle readers to loud outbursts of laughter! Lots of LOLs! Somewhere down the road, I thought it apt to call my write-ups “Artickles” and not “articles”.

Some of my posts may not be as humorous as some others. But I assure readers that they will be interesting and in lighter vein! It is natural for readers to consider posting an interesting but serious subject in the “Artickles” blog, as deceptive and criminal.

So, what then would yours truly do if while trying to write a humorous piece - and it turns out to be a serious, thought-provoking piece? Or when I want to touch, not ‘tickle? I would post such write-ups on my other blogs.

"Small Steps along the way", for instance.

Also, some of my older articles, which were published in newspapers many years ago will be posted in “My articles" , as and when time permits (there are 2 posted already!). I would also post new articles which are not "Artickles" here if they do not fit into the theme of Small Steps blog.

If for any reason, readers would like to partake of some thought-provoking material such as current affairs, investment, politics, educational reforms and so on, I have listed some blogs, which I have liked in “My Favorite Blogs” alongside. I would continue to add to these whenever I come across interesting stuff on the www. I dont worry about the competition (my only real competitors are Laloo Prasad Yadav and Navjot Singh Siddhu).

But if you insist on more humor, you can visit

Cartoonist Satish Acharya’s Blog, - I have blog-rolled him recently!

Readers have posted comments, written me emails, even posted their review of my blog on Stumble Upon! I sincerely thank all readers for taking the time to read and to even leave a comment or write me appreciative mails!

I have also been tagged by Rachana Shakyawar. To know more about what the tag is read her post!

My response to her tag is below:

Questions
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food? Right now?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your dream vacation?
7. What is your favorite drink?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. What is the one word that describes you?
12. What is your user name?

Answers
1. Gopinath
2. Fish Fry
3. St. Lawrence High School
4. Blue
5. Preity Zinta
6. Himachal Pradesh – Himalayas, Mountains
7. Lime Juice
8. Chocolate
9. Old man
10. Peace of mind
11. Restless
12. Gopinath




1. Gorgeous Pic of Lord Krsna, 2. Untitled, 3. 2001 - Present: UO campus, 4. 2008.01.30 Blue Moutains Tour - 075, 5. Preity Zinta at Cannes, 6. Is this what you mean by "fluids intake"?, 7. Is this what you mean by "fluids intake"?, 8. 14th August 2007 / Day 226, 9. I Wanna Grow Old with You, 10. Comfortable*, 11. Not available, 12. Gorgeous Pic of Lord Krsna

I tried to be funny but the rules did not permit me - I hate rules!

Wishing all fellow Indians A Happy Independence Day!

Gopinath Mavinkurve

Animal Qualms

If you are not as blind as a bat, you may simply bury your head in the sand like an ostrich when I tell you that some animals are up in arms, or shall we say, paws, to pick up the cudgels for their ilk against the only political animal on earth, the human being, who is indulging in hurling insults at them by attributing their unworthy behavior and nasty habits to some or the other animal, time and again.

Some time ago, monkeys had called for a high-level meeting to take action against a prominent Indian cricketer for calling his Australian counterpart a “monkey”. Having moved a motion to condemn all such insults against them, they vowed to take action against any person, who makes such derogatory remarks in public domain. I would urge you not to consider this as “monkey business”, but to take this threat seriously!

If you thought the meeting to fight the menace was attended by monkeys alone, think again! Each of the species was part of the historic meeting, and it was unanimously agreed that a committee would be formed to deal with the insults hurled at the members of the non-political animals on earth.

At a recent meeting of this newly formed committed, a canine representative had a list of dialogues from Bollywood flicks, such as, “Kamine, Kutte” (Hindi for “Scoundrel, dog”) and several others of the kind, which needed to be dealt with a firm hand…er.. paw. The owl, jerked out of his deep slumber, a result of having stayed up all of earlier night, and registered the offense against owls by the “Ullu-ke-Patthe” (Hindi for son-of-an-owl) uttered on-screen, besides calling naive members of the so-called evolved species an “ullu” (hindi, for owl), which is derogatory for the nocturnal avian.

Their wily cousins, the fox, seconded their cause and added that the cunningness attributed to them was as outdated and archaic as Indian laws. In fact, if cunningness were to be measured on an independent scale, you would find that the political animal has elbowed out the fox out of the cunningness race ever since India’s Independence. The pig pitched in saying he was only “earthy” and not “dirty”, as was being portrayed.

The donkey, though equally insulted by likening them to dim-witted folks, could not represent his case and almost made an ass of himself at the forum. While the fast paced front-runner stallion, with much horse power to back his argument, raced into the arena with a banner saying “Comparing Horses with Politicians offends us”. A mare followed with a banner saying, “Horse-trading leads to Nightmares!”

The tortoise wished to put on record that due to the pace at which certain government and municipal bodies worked, it was not in order to draw parallels of with the motor capabilities of their species when matters actually moved (or did not) at a bureaucratic pace. The pug however thanked the advertising agency for portraying his ‘happy-to-help’ attitude and to all concerned to take up the issue of his ill-treatment when chasing a bus in the same manner as the young lad named Buddhia, without any discrimination. Except that the pug let the proverbial cat out of the bag when he revealed that he was really enjoying the shoot and not given a run for his money or for his moment-of-fame, for that matter!

In a corner a bull and a bear sat silently with their laptops flashing charts and tickers moving rapidly. They seemed least interested in the proceedings at the mundane meeting. When asked about their thoughts, they responded that they had no qualms at all. They had been given their place of pride in the premier stock markets. They were reportedly busy playing havoc with the greed and fear factor, making humans sick on the roller-coaster ride of the bourses, while they jostled playfully.

Sharing their experience, they talked about a certain large-sized investor, who would change his appearance from that of a Bull to that of a Bear faster than a chameleon can change colors. After a hard day’s tussle, the bulls and bears would settle down, they said, in front of television sets, “watching a handsome guy, who calls himself “Udayan Mukherjee” and appears on a popular Business Channel, reporting about guys licking their wounds and asking a host of self-proclaimed “experts”, just one question - if they could "see a bottom in place"!.

The donkey finally rose to the occasion and said that if the question was posed to him instead of the so-called “investment experts”, he could land one with the rear-guard action that he is accustomed to on one. Viola - you will have a hurting bottom in place! So, guys don’t brood over this story at a zebra-crossing, stop the menace of hurling insults at animals. And don’t you just consider this another cock-and-bull story. If you have some horse sense, you would know that the story is neither hogwash nor humbug - it is based on reliable sources. A little bird, for instance.

Blogger's Whisper: Psst…You could call my write-up
"Tons of Bull-$*!t" though!

© Gopinath Mavinkurve 2007-2008. All Rights Reserved.

Seeing is Believing! See pics below:

A Dog up in arms… when I say arms, I mean arms – not paws!

















A Monkey registering its complaint with a Cricket official














Read about the most intellingent owl – trained to perform by an expert!

A web-link of the most intelligent owl according to the trainer who trained it to perform stunning acts

If you are moved by the story, and have decided to treat animals with love, you may be interested in knowing how to look after your donkey (Link Below)

Blogger Whisper # 2: I dont need to upload the photograph of the donkey - the photograph along with the profile is already appearing on my blog from the very beginning!