Computers to replace Humans?

Last week, when I was out of action due to my illness, I just wondered whether my next blog-post could be generated by a computer. I called up my tech-savvy friend and asked him to find out if that was possible what with rapid strides reported in the field of technology each day. When my friend came back to me with a negative in reply, my joy new no bounds – I felt secure – I would not be declared redundant anytime soon! And this aided my recovery, so here I am back in action!

Recent reports in the media suggest that the outsourcing business enabled by the revolutionary Information Technology would face threats in times to come. Computers have never ceased to amaze us. First they did what humans programmed them to do. Then they connected with others across the world with the humble internet technology giving birth to the worldwide web. With the convergence of telecommunication with computers and internet, the framework for the outsourcing business was ready. Robots have successfully performed mechanical tasks in the automation efforts in manufacturing. Some have even begun talking sensibly to humans and responding to their questions.

Technology is enabling computers and machines to work together to replace human beings? To understand this, one first needs to understand what a human being is all about and what differentiates human beings from other animals and modern machines.

In an effort to understand this phenomenon and its impact in the future, a survey was carried out to list out activities/capabilities that can be attributed to human beings alone.

REPORT BELOW:

The following unique capabilities have been listed out with the corresponding progress in Computers/Technology and the resultant threatened groups as on date :-

Serial No. a Unique Capability possessed by Human Beings
b Progress to replicate in computers / gadgets/ Technology
c Threatened Groups, if efforts were to succeed

1 a. Speak a language
b. Robots can do it.
c. Newsreaders

2. a. Translate from one language to another
b Computers can do it
c.Translation experts

3 a. Record a speech in written text
b.Recent software enables this.
c.Transcriptionists

4 a. Intelligent analysis of facts
b. Computers can do it.
c. All Humans (except blondes)

5 a. Innovation of ideas – or “Ideating” (a new word we hear today)
b.Though work on “Artificial Intelligence” is in progress, no success to report
c. All Intelligent Humans (Thankfully, not me!)

6 a. Telling lies
b. No capability yet
c. All Humans

7 a. Dealing with Money – expecting, receiving, giving, all its ugly forms
b. No reported instance of such behavior observed in any computer or even any other animal except Humans
c. All Humans, including Stock Brokers, Corrupt officials and Politicians, no exceptions.

8 a. The dispensation of law and justice
b. No reported instance of such capability observed in any computer or even any other animals
c. All humans, including Lawyers, Judges, Police officials and Criminals - just clarifying in case you miss out on them.

9 a. The Institution of Marriage and other related acts, because, inspite or otherwise capable of.
b. Not found in any animal other than humans – computers and gadgets are blissfully unaware of this word! (Word? My wise uncle insists that Marriage is not a word – it is a Sentence! (as in “sentence for life”, that is)
c.Heterosexual Humans – Other Humans too want to marry though!

10 a. Engage in Politics
b. Not found in any animal other than humans – computers and gadgets are blissfully unaware of this phenomenon!
c. Politicians, Political observers, Party workers

11 a. Blaming others
b. There has been a stray reported instance, though unproved, from unreliable source (see Bloggers Post-Script below). Status remains “No capability yet”
c. All Humans without any exceptions

12 a. Stupidity – one may find many of the above capabilities as a subset of this main set. But then that's why I put this last.
b.No reported instance of such behavior observed in any computer or even any other animal except Humans. Why do you think Einstein called it “Human Stupidity” of which he was certain of being infinite.
c. All Humans, (especially Humor Bloggers like me)

END OF REPORT

Since I am still convalescing, I cannot claim this study to be complete and perfect. Readers of my blog are encouraged to contribute more such unique human capabilities so that the exercise in Human Stupidity can be taken to greater heights. This can be done by posting your comments.

Go ahead and perform another act of human stupidity!. Be Stupid, Be human!

Bloggers’ Post-Script - Ooops…How could I forget tippling? Many years ago, I penned a futuristic poem in 1981 (I was in my early twenties), which was published in Kanara Saraswat Magazine. Reproduced below for the benefit of my blog readers.


COMPUTER BEHAVIOUR

[News-Item: Computers are beginning to behave like humans. While one seems to have asked for a glass of beer, another put the blame of an error squarely on another computer installed in another department]

A computer, known for its persuasion,
Was fed with a problem during supervision.
Calmly he sat working upon it,
with his metallic eye-brows knit.

For though a problem, however tough,
a moment or two was always enough.
He smiled, said, “This problem indeed is queer,
never before did I need a glass of beer,
I’ll be considered human, I fear,
but I’ll solve this problem, I swear”

There was calm as he sat for a while,
and finally a triumphant smile,
The supervisor who came to check,
seeing the figure, said “What the heck!
I have never known you to have faltered,
a silicon chip will need to be altered”.

There was a smile as yet on the computer’s face,
which is the peculiarity of this invented race.
“I wonder from where you got your figure”,
he retorted, now chewing a Cigar.
“For if it is from another computer”, said he.
The error’s due to him – CERTAINLY NOT ME!”

[Published in the “Kanara Saraswat” Magazine, August 1981]

My Password Phobia!

My Password Phobia

By Gopinath Mavinkurve

Published in the Times of India on 3rd July 2008

Link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Editorial/Access_Blues/articleshow/3190014.cms

The complete version of my article is below – only for my blog readers!

I suspect the world is conspiring against me to block me from my bank accounts, my email accounts, my blog account, my own spaces. As soon as I approach any Bank ATM, I suffer from a panic attack… will I remember my current password? Or will I be “Denied Access!” to my own accounts and shunted out like an intruder?

It is not that my organization skills are at fault. I have stored all my passwords carefully, from where only I can access them. But the trouble is, I do not remember where! My email accounts also offer me such bouts of anxiety. Having to deal with numerous such alphabets, numbers and characters, I am challenged, much the same way, as the protagonist, Ishaan was, in the movie “Taare Zameen Par”. These characters start dancing to the tune of “Bam Bam Bole” in front of my eyes!

Finally, I decided to rein in these dancing characters down to my secret excel sheet, containing my passwords. One fine morning, after I was done with this task, I heaved a sigh of relief. But the secret excel sheet would need a password for access! And where do you think I stored this password? In the same excel file, where else? My life is a Maze! How amaze-ing!

My office has a password policy requires me to change passwords every month. It has to have more than 8 characters, with alpha and numeric characters as well as a special character thrown in for good measure. The changed password needs to be substantially different and you cannot repeat any of the last four passwords which I have used! I am told that it is for the security of the information contained in my emails! This practice is now spreading thanks to well-intentioned IT guys, who are putting up the pop-up message “Your current password has expired! Please change your password to continue.”

I am now required to update my secret excel sheet whenever I encounter this pop-up message!. So that is another thing I have got to remember to do from time to time. The only feature that comes to my help, in times of trouble, is the facility put up for the mentally challenged people like me: “Forgot your Password? Enter your Date of Birth and your Mother’s Maiden name”.

Ever since my Hard Disk crashed, all efforts to revive the excel sheet failed despite all efforts by the recovery specialist. Our IT head foresees better times for me in the future. He expects fingerprinting-recognition technology and eye-recognition technology devices to replace the Password-based access to ATMs and computers. I am eagerly waiting for these crazy characters to be consigned to the Recycle Bin when I shall jump up with joy and proclaim, “Look Ma, No Passwords!”

Send your feedback, either “!!!!!!!!!” or “^$@%$*@!” - to my email address: g_mavinkurve@hotmail.com. I may just be able to access it, if my stars are in the right position!