Share this blog with your friends and well-wishers!

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Lure of Limericks

Mavin has posted another limerick in the comments section of my last post! Taking me back to my schooldays - nostalgic memories of relishing this poetic form of humor! That is the best you can do to a bruised mind battered with violent scenes on TV lately. So how about some soothing balm for it all?

What is a limerick?
A limerick is a five-line poem in which the first, the second and fifth line rhyme with each other and have seven to ten syllables each. The third line rhymes with the fourth and have five to seven syllables each.

Originally popularized in English by Edward Lear. Limericks are witty, humorous, and sometimes obscene, but with humorous intent.

Example of a limerick - A limerick about limericks.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
[Source: Wikipedia Author: unknown]

Gershon Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly collection, held that the true limerick, "as a folk form is always obscene".

History of the Limerick – The oldest of ‘em all
The limerick form can be traced back several hundred years. The oldest recorded poem fitting the metrical pattern is in Latin from Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274).
Sit vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

Translated into Enlish means:
Let my viciousness be emptied,
Desire and lust banished,
Charity and patience,
Humility and obedience,
And all the virtues increased

Variants of the form of poetry referred to as Limerick poems can be traced back to the fourteenth century English history. Limericks were used in Nursery Rhymes and other poems for children. But as limericks were short, relatively easy to compose and bawdy or sexual in nature they were often repeated by beggars or the working classes in the British pubs and taverns of the fifteenth, sixteenth and seventh centuries. The poets who created these limericks were therefore often drunkards! Limericks were also referred to as dirty.

Where does the term 'Limerick' come from?
The word derives from the Irish town of Limerick. Apparently a pub song or tavern chorus based on the refrain "Will you come up to Limerick?" where, of course, such bawdy songs that were later called 'Limericks' were sung.

Give me some examples!
When a youngster would ask me for an example, I would provide some educational limericks.
What a wonderful bird is a Pelican,
His bill holds more food than his belican.
He can take in his beak,
Food for more than a week,
I just wonder how the helican.

You would have noted that the spellings are incorrect. 'belican' = belly can and 'helican' = hell he can. Spellings have been changed to add to the comical effect here. If you look at this pic of a pelican below you'll see for yourself that its quite true too!

[Picture source: Google Images]

Another educational one that explains the Theory of relativity of Einstein;
A rocket inventor named Bright
Once traveled much faster than light.
He started one day
In the relative way
And returned the previous night.

Some rather interesting, clean ones that could be handed out to youngsters are listed below:
There were three little birds in a wood
Who always sang hymns when they could.
What the words were about
You could never make out,
But you felt it was doing them good.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'
[Edward Lear]

There was an old man of Peru
who dreamt he ate a shoe.
He woke in the night
with a terrible fright
And found out that it was quite true.

There once was a young girl named Jill.
Who was scared by the sight of a drill.
She brushed every day
So her dentist would say,
“Your teeth are so perfect; no bill.”

Since I had never penned a limerick of my own, I attempted my first one which goes thus:
Having taken up the challenge to write
I Stayed up all day and night,
to write a verse
for bad or worse
I just hoped I could get this right!

[Gopinath Mavinkurve - Hey that's me!]

Hey I got it right, right? That may not be so elegant but that was fun!
Don’t they say that limericks are generally mischievous, naughty, lewd and almost obscene? Yes several of them are. I would select some more and post some of them selectively sometime soon. So gathering some courage, I penned another:

“Should I tell them or just play a trick?”
He scratched his head, this maverick,
A really naughty one,
Just for the fun,
Oh, such is the lure of a limerick!

[Gopinath Mavinkurve - Hey that's me again!]

If you have come across a really good, interesting limericks, do post them in the comments section! I will post them along with my collection. You could even pen one yourself! Due credit/mention of contributor/author will be given
Just try it out - It is easy - Look, even I did it!

Credits for sources have been provided wherever available

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tight security needed please!

You dont have to switch on the TV Channels these days to hear about the anger that is evident among Indians about the helplessness and frivolously equipped security agencies and cops in Mumbai. Everybody in trains, buses, canteens, offices are talking about it. The newspapers are reporting how woefully inadequate is the provision of ammunition and how outdated and ineffective they are.



There are reports about lack of training facilities like practice shooting tracks and several cops not having fired a single practice shot in the last several decades! Appalling to say the least. We cannot expect our lathi-wielding cops to take on well-trained, well-equipped specially trained terrorists, can we? The problem of lack of training and practice is so acute that it has been reported in the press that a veterinarian doctor once called the police to fire a tranquilliser bullet into an elephant and the poor cop missed the elephant from a distance of 10 feet!



Against this backdrop, we find that the worthless politicians get Z-Security to protect themselves. While we get ZZZzzz Security! Mumbai Cartoonist Satish Acharya, whose cartoons are regularly published in Mid-Day has so beautifully created this cartoon from an idea provided by me. Collaborative blogging! Thanks, Satish.





We need some tighter Security please! And when I mean "tight" it is not the type where the security gulps down some spirits and gets "tight", for heaven's sake!

Do sign on this online petition to press for some real action! Let us not ZZZZZZzzzzzz over an important matter needing urgent attention!

Do Vote for me at Dubbagol!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Tagged on "Feminism"!

I have been tagged by Mavin! 'Tagging' is a practice among fellow-bloggers and I am supposed to be writing a post on 'feminism'. “And make that funny too” he insists! “Siddhuism” or “Bushism” would have been a better choice for my kind of a blog. Whom can you trust to make life tough for you other than your own good old friend?

Even my regular dependable sites like Google-search and Wikipedia let me down. After downloading several gigabytes of information about the assigned topic, I have to admit that nothing described in those web pages was anything that I could much understand or relate to. Finally I decided to get some help from my old school friends and share their experiences in life. I invited Mr and Mrs Joshi, Mr. and Mrs. Bongerjee, Mr. and Mrs. Millio-Nair, Mr. and Mrs Parekh for lunch at our place.

“Mr. and Missayz Zoshi”, as they call themselves, were the first to arrive with a packet of Puranpolis, which Missayz Zoshi had so thoughtfully brought for my craving sweet tooth. After the customary greetings, my friend began discussing the latest developments on the Marathi manoos front. With both MNS and SS both taking up their cause, the dilemma was, whom to vhote?”


Then I posed the Question of the Day (QOTD),as they say on most TV channels:- “What are your thoughts and experiences of Feminism?”
“My wife subscribes” Mister Zoshi said.

I looked askance for some explanation. “You are talking about Faymina? Missayz loves it”, he asked. Then he bent forward and whispered in my ear: “I love the peeks, but I prefer to watch the peeks on the nate – that is safer, with my Missayz around”


Peaks? Nate? I wondered. Must be "Pics" on the "Net", I guessed!

Then I explained several issues like gender bias, discrimination for being a woman, equal opportunities, women’s rights, violence, harassment at workplace, rape and stuff like that, which I had gathered on the “nate” recently. But there was nothing that he could relate to. “We love our daughter more than our son. She gets all the attention and freedom and sometimes I wonder whether it is my son who is being discriminated against.”

Next to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Millio-Nair with a packet of Kela (Banana) Chips fried in pure coconut oil. After the customary greetings, I posed the QOTD to Millio-Nairs. “Hmmmm… I think I have seen that book… ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’, isn’t it? You know if I was to write that book, it would have been called “Men are in Gelf and Women have gone by Otto to the Jerj or Demble”

“I don’t believe in Mars, Venus and stuff like that, I will go back to the Gelf shortly so that my status of Millio-Nair continues and does not reduce me to an ordinary Nair”, he confirmed. He always had a great sense of humor, joking about himself, this good old friend of mine!

Then I explained what I already explained to the Joshis. “No No, I have no objection if my wife or daughter wants to werk or come to the Gelf with me ” he said vehemently. “Kerala has the highest literacy rate”
“Igwal Riots”, explained Mrs Millio-Nair. Riots? I was baffled!
Equal Rights, maybe, I guessed after some mulling.


Next to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Parekh with a packet of Undhiyoo. After the customary greetings, I posed the QOTD.
“Famine? Kaunsa Famine, dost? (Which Famine, Friend?) I have been advised to reduce my weight so I am geeming and also go for Mourning Wokes! I love your jokes, Gopi! You ask me about Famine!”

Then I explained ditto ditto ditto. “No discrimination, dost! My daughter also wants to go to Madical, like my son. I am encouraging my daughter also just like my son, I told her no problem - only she has to improve her Mammary!” Madical? Mammary?

Must be Medical and Memory, silly, I told myself!

The last to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Bongerjee with a packet of home-made Gulab Jamuns.. Yes, you guessed right - after the customary greetings, I posed the QOTD.“If you say Communism, I can talk forever…but what is this Feminism, yaar?”

Yes, you guessed right – then I explained ditto ditto ditto...
Every time I explained what I read from my reliable Wikipedia, the lesser I understood it. Mr. Bongerjee was the only one who understood it, I thought., when he revealed, “I have never been to our kitchen and cooked”. “There you are” I thought – here was something we did not do and qualified for a mild act of feminism (incomparison with what is described in Wikipedia).


Never helping out in the kitchen!
“But why? Why” I asked eagerly.
“My bife has abhortion” explained Mr Bongerjee.
“Abortion?” “So sorry to hear” “When? I never knew" "Carried out Sex Determination Test?"
“What sex determination? She is having Abhortion – Abhortion for my cooked food – I used to cook – My mother had taught me and I loved to… but my bife does not allow me – she has abhortion for my cooked food…”
Finally it sunk in…he meant to say his wife had aversion for his cooked food!

Finally, it was my turn. I cleared my throat.“Hmmm….In my early days, I used to predominantly write gender-biased stuff like ‘he’ when ‘he/she’ was more like it. I would address letters to ‘The Chairman’ with ‘Dear Sir’. But over the years, I have changed my ways to Chairperson, and ‘The Chairperson’ and “Dear Sir/Madam”, when writing to institutions where I am not sure who the person really is.” “I need to write a post about the open manholes and now I am struggling to find the right gender-free word that they will understand! ‘Man’holes just wont do!

Blogger’ Post-Script

Last few days have demoralized Mumbaikars. So I thought I should work on this post nevertheless and try to cheer up my blog readers, even if in vain, I would make my sincere attempt.This post does not intend to offend anyone! However, if one is offended, do accept my apologies too!

As for the respect for and the privileges and rights of women in all walks of life, I am mostly in line with Mavin’s Post. Do read it here!

I always wanted a daughter and I am very happy to have one.
To learn more do read my earlier post “Daughters are forever”.

Just because one does not know what feminism is, does not mean one does not practice some or the other form of discrimination against women. It may not be a grave or brash act of the criminal kind. It could be just the belief that women cannot do something or shouldn’t get something that men or boys do.

I plead guilty to not cooking and not helping around with the household chores – just because somewhere at the back of my mind, men (read: I) think it is the job of womenfolk and that men (read: I) need not do it. I did not recognize this shortcoming of mine until I was tagged! Hopefully, this too may change for the better! Let me conclude this post by saluting all womenfolk for keeping the household going even in spite of pursuing careers, of late! If you do want to know more about Feminism on the Wikipedia. Read it here.

Oops! I almost forgot! I am supposed to be passing on the tag to someone! I would like Vinod K Sharma to write a post on Feminism, preferably with some insights on what our Female Politicians like Mayawati, Mamata, Jayalalitha and her likes have done for the cause of feminism and his own take on the subject.



Vote for me at Dubbagol!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Anecdotes behind the colorful phrases

Of late, not a day passes without TV News about pink slips being handed out. If my last post delved into the various colorful phrases and an earlier post “In the Thick of Pink” had sort of predicted this deluge of pink slips in a way, what one may wonder now, is :-

“Why is it called the pink slip, anyway?”

The origin of ‘pink slip’ – A notice of termination
If youngsters thought it was a new phrase doing the rounds, think again. Pink Slip refers to an old practice which originated in the American Corporations, when personnel departments would hand over a ‘discharge notice’, notifying termination of employment or layoff in the pay envelope. The letter was printed on pink paper to distinguish it from other notices issued to employees. The practice was reported in the New York Times in 1910 by editors of the Random House Dictionary. So if you can see the term ‘pink slip’ will be celebrating its centenary in just two years in 2010. Perhaps we are preparing the celebrations already?!!

Some more interesting anecdotal origins of color phrases may interest you.
Origin of ‘Yellow Journalism’ – The practice of Sensationalizing news
The term originated when circulation battles between Joseph Pulitzer's New York World and William Randolph Hearst's New York Journal. peaked from 1895 to about 1898, when both papers were accused by critics of sensationalizing the news in order to drive up circulation, although the newspapers did serious reporting as well. The New York Press coined the term “yellow kid journalism” in early 1897 after a then-popular comic strip, “The Yellow Kid”, which was published by both during a circulation war. Later the term shortened to "yellow journalism"

Origin of ‘Red Tape’ – Bureaucratic delays in taking decisions
It is first noted in historical records in the 16th century, when Henry VIII besieged Pope Clement VII with around eighty or so petitions for the annulment of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon! It was referred to red tape - so its around for longer than 500 years!
It’s popularity soared when All American Civil War veterans' records were bound in red tape, and the difficulty in accessing them led to the current use of the term in its modern sense sometime before this. Havent you observed that red string used to tie up files before they get pushed from table to table in Government offices.
(I have had the opportunity (???) to chase such files)

Origin of ‘Green with envy’ – when becoming jealous of others
In some cultures, envy is often associated with the color green, as in "green with envy". The phrase "green-eyed monster" refers to an individual whose current actions appear motivated by envy. This is based on a line from Shakespeare's Othello. Shakespeare mentions it also in The Merchant of Venice when Portia states: "How all the other passions fleet to air, as doubtful thoughts and rash embraced despair and shuddering fear and green-eyed jealousy!"

Origin of ‘Once in a blue moon’ – a rare event
A blue moon is a name given to an irregularly timed full moon. Most years have twelve full moons which occur approximately monthly, but each calendar year contains those twelve full lunar cycles plus about eleven days to spare. The extra days accumulate, so that every two or three years there is an extra full moon (which happens every 2.72 years). The extra moon is called a "blue moon". The term blue moon is commonly used metaphorically to describe a rare event, as in the saying "once in a blue moon".

Origin of ‘the blues’ – the “down spirits’
The phrase "the blues" is a reference to the Blue Devils, meaning "down" spirits, melancholy, and sadness. An early reference to "the blues" can be found in George Colman's one act farce Blue devils in as early as 1798! It has been in modern use since 1912, when Hart Wand's "Dallas Blues" became the first copyrighted Blues composition. In lyrics the phrase is often used to describe a depressed mood.

Origin of ‘purple patch’ – an unusually good time of outstanding achievement
The term purple patch is also used in a more general, and more unequivocally positive, sense to refer to a period of outstanding achievement. This usage is particularly common in sporting contexts: for example, a footballer who had scored in six successive games might be said to be "enjoying a purple patch". Like Yuvraj Singh has been experiencing in the on-going India-England ODI series.

Nothing new, isnt it?
Source: Wikipedia

Blogger's Post-Script: Late edition addition: My article "Biometric Possibilities - Bite the Bullet has appeared in the Times of India Edit Page on 24/11/2008.
Click on this link to read it

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

English - A Colorful Language

The Talk of the Town - Nana Chudasama's message at Churchgate, Mumbai reads:
"Congratulations from us to US for a colorful victory"

It is believed that Obama's colorful victory was not a bolt from the blue but a carefully planned strategic one.

Some of my friends, who had passed their exams with flying colors, tried for a white-collared jobs, some took up a blue-collared job , while some others migrated to the US to earn greenbacks , but are now facing the prospect of pink slips . One such acquaintance cited an incident in his blog, about his colleague, who saw red , when another colleague mentioned that there was a black hole in their office! Though reference was to the frequent missing documents in office, an Afro-American colleague, took offence to being referred to as ‘black’, thinking it was directed to them.

Elementary Physics has taught us that white is a combination of all colors and black is in fact the absence of colors. But one does not understand why “whites” call “blacks”, “colored”?

Indeed it is a grey area that sets my grey cells into action!

Do read this interesting poem written by an African Child!

Back home, newspapers report several instances of red tape in offices, with the obvious intent to amass black money. Several such black deeds of greedy members of society, brings wealth and often impresses neighbors, who turn green with envy . But soon enough the illgotten money is wasted away in vices like drinking after which one sees pink elephants . This meteoric rise invites the attention of investigation agencies and income tax authorities.

These officials then try to catch the culprits red-handed . Often suspects tell a white lie to get away. Blackmailers then try to exploit the situation, if they have access to some dark secrets of such individuals. The Police who is beckoned to get hold of the blackmailer, beat him black and blue , to get the truth out. Some television channels then beam the story of Police brutality repeatedly, blowing the story out of proportion. Talk shows on competitor’s channels then call this kind of sensational reporting yellow journalism and condemn such news agencies and want them blacklisted. Politicians get away with setting up projects, arrive to a red carpet welcome to inaugurate them.

Such projects later prove to be white elephants .
Controversy erupts and the parliament then demands a white paper


Media interviews colorful personalities such as cricketers who have hit a purple patch and newspapers feature articles of wellness, which guide readers how to keep in the pink of health and how to drive away your blues .

English is indeed a colorful language! I just wanted to put my thoughts in black and white. I hope it will be red all over ... oops...read all over. After all, such posts appear only once in a blue moon! .

Blogger's Post-Script
This post is also on a special request from Priyank Thatte a fellow-blogger, who backpacks all round the world and captures the colors of nature in his camera and puts them up on his blog with some superb travel experiences shared for our benefit. I have blogrolled him!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Take Care, Friends!

Today is the World Day of Remembrance for Traffic Victims observed the world over on the third Sunday of November each year as endorsed by the United Nations.

On this occasion, in public interest, please read my serious post in my other blog link below:

Take Care!

For some weekend fun, read my last post "Barack Dance" if you havent read it already!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Barack Dance!

A Dance academy board said “Learn Barack Dance”

Last week it was Palin Dosa. This week, would I get a glimpse of ‘Barack Dance’? Before the world began to dance to his tunes, our locals had already caught up with the latest trend in dancing, one wondered? Curious to know what it was all about, I rang the bell and a thin, dark, tall guy in his mid-twenties opened the door. “Learn Barrrack Dance?” he asked.

“Just give me a demonstration so that I can decide”, I replied.
He began his gyrations and jerks as realization dawned on me – it was what I knew to be the same old Break Dance!

“No, thanks”, I said. As I turned to go, he made another offer: “How about Heap Hope?”

Barrack Obama had won the election on heaps of hope, for sure. So would there be something to hold my interest here, I wondered? Knowing his tendencies, I soon enough guessed he was talking about “Hip-Hop”!

I hurried away before he could hold me by my Taang (legs) and offer me some “Taaango” (Tango) or “Balle-Balle Ballet” as a fusion dance.

Our local guys sure know how to be in step with the world and keep up with the times!

A new Phobia
While working on my last post, I came across a new phobia - AIBOHPHOBIA – The fear of palindromes! But then who would be afraid of palindromes?

You would be more certain to find many people who love them. Considering that all philias are converted from phobias.

Would that not be AILIHPHILIA – The obsessive love for Palindromes?

Blogger's Post-script: How about some more word play in my future posts?