A million words!

With the birth of Astha Arora, India’s population touched the one billion mark on 11th May 2000.
Web 2.0 is the millionth word in the English language according to Global Language Monitor

Newspapers and websites were agog with speculation about which word would be the millionth word that GLM would announce earlier this month. Could it be Jai Ho? Could it be slumdog? Or would it be n00b? The suspense was building each day, as reports about the possible millionth word were being published daily . While many Indians rooted for ‘Jai Ho’ for the coveted millionth word in English, some amongst us said, but Jai Ho are two words, not one! Well some even said “But ‘Jai Ho’ is a song!”. Which, of course it is!

Whether it is two words, a song or whatever - I personally preferred “Jai Ho” to "slumdog"! I had been thinking of posting my views at that time, but somehow couldn’t pull of a meaningful string of thoughts – an important condition for a post on the ArTicKles blog. Not enough whatnonsanz to be specific. (One day it will be the 2 millionth word, i hope)

Now that Web 2.0 has been dropped upon us as the millionth word, we have more to ponder and debate. For instance, what exactly is a word? We never needed to ask that question “what exactly is a child?” when young Astha Arora was born. It took a million words in English before we could ask "what exactly is a word" though! My first reaction upon reading the much-awaited announcement was, “Web Two Point Zero? It’s not a word!”

But if it is the millionth word, as we are told, well, it’s got to be a word! It couldn’t be the millionth word without being a word, certainly! “It is an alpha-numeric term” ,one may say. But then so is n00b – which is “n zero zero b”, a combination of letters and numerics, meaning a newcomer in the online gaming community, incidentally.

While there have been several reports in the press expressing the choice to be genuine and apt, Web 2.0 – its arrival ushering in new experiences for the netizens, the comments and views expressed by various writers seem to indicate otherwise. Some have even raised the question that if terms like “financial tsunami” and “wardrobe malfunction”, (which are in reality two words or if you insist, a phrase), have been included in the count to the millionth word. So can we really say we have the millionth word after all?

Pssst - Btw, I suppose “chemical locha” of Munnabhai fame is included already!

Well if GLM has opened its doors wide to welcome all kinds of words, phrases, songs etc, I would suggest them to include “Pappu cant dance sala”. Well, my reasoning is that it is better a word than a song!

So what happened to Jai Ho and Slumdog?

The 999,997th word was Slumdog, the 999,998th was the Hindi salutation Jai Ho, the 999,999th word was N00b, from the internet meaning a new member of an online gaming community, while the 1,000,001st was “financial tsunami”.

Which brings us to the question what constitutes a word for the GLM?

The Global Language Monitor accepts as a word any coinage that has gained sufficiently wide usage: this includes hybrid words in Chinglish (Chinese English), Hinglish (Hindi English), Spanglish (Spanish English), Hollywords (terms created by the film industry), including slang, word-marriages with other languages and the thousands of new terms spawned by the internet. computer jargon and words forged by the internet. The word does not have to be in any dictionary! In fact, the latest Oxford English Dictionary has only about 616,500 word forms.

And just how does GLM decide which word gets entered into their list of words?

Each contender is analysed according to depth (number of citations) and breadth (geographic extent of word usage), as well as the number of times a word has appeared in the global print and electronic media, the Internet, blogs, and social media such as Twitter and YouTube. Words need a minimum of 25,000 citations to qualify.

If you need to know more click here for GLM’s FAQ.
Now we know!
Could this just be a popularity gimmick for GLM and the Technology geeks?

You may also notice how the millionth word has been described by the GLM:
“Web 2.0 - the next generation of web products and services, coming soon to a browser near you”. That sounds more like an ad to me! Perhaps it is. I wonder whether they got the cue from our Regional Transport Office in Mumbai, who sell privileged registration numbers like 1111, 9999, 3000 and of course, 786 to people with moneybags to part with!

It was nice fun, anyway. Considering my love for new words. Jai Ho!

Blogger's Postscript:
Oh, and just in case you haven’t read ( I know you have! ) my article on the subject of new words in English in the TOI on 16th June 09, here’s the link.

At the Blogscars 2009

Long post alert!
(I couldn’t make it short, because I ran out of ideas)

Just as the Oscars night is the much-awaited event looked forward to by the glitterati, the Blogscars, as Indian Home Maker calls it, is its parallel in the blogosphere, looked forward to by the blogeratti. The most phenomenal blogger, Indian Home Maker (IHM) had hosted this event recently in her blog. You may read it here.

Ever since I have been blogging, it has been a delight when fellow-bloggers have pitched in time and again with their encouraging words of praise (which may have led me to come so far as 65+ posts and 15000 hits). Though I personally don’t believe in quantitative targets and do accord greater importance to quality of content, I also do believe that for a small-time, unknown writer like me, reaching out to hundreds or perhaps thousands was a dream. Why else would one write if not to share one’s thoughts or ideas?

"It is with great pleasure that I announce that IHM has given me The Versatile Blogger award! Thank you, IHM! I would fail in my duty (to make it sound like a speech), if I would not mention here that IHM has painfully listed out the bloggers who have received this award along with the reasons – the posts which have got the award their way! The effort you have put in is laudable, IHM! Take a bow! It also gave us an opportunity to read your handpicked blogposts from amongst us."



For me, it has been for this post, “Daughters are forever”.
- A post, which will always remain closest to my heart!

When IHM tagged me to do a post listing five things that changed me when I became a father, I wondered what to write! So when I mentioned this to my daughter, she immediately said, “You have already written about this, haven’t you?” So IHM, I couldn’t think past this post, which is actually about how my life changed with the arrival of my daughter in my life. So I take it as having done it already, and hope that I wouldn't get any punishment for not doing my asignment(homework)!

My regular readers may have noted the rather unusual manner in which I do announce my awards. andThis is when I got the Blog of the day award from Bill Austin.

And this post, when Indyeah gave me this Kreativ Blogger Award

And this is when Krishnan and Sahaja had given me the Proximidade and Butterfly awards. I had even posted a limerick for each of the award recipients that I conferred it to in turn. Read this post here.

The blogging journey has proved to me that there are several talented writers who have been showing their creativity through their designs, thoughts, words and innovative posts. So if they have been awarded by their fellow-bloggers, it has been really a well-deserved recognition of their contribution to the blogosphere. Some call it Blogiverse (blog + universe). Or should I just say Blog-Samaj as Hitchwriter aka Dhirenbhai says in his comments?

Before I get to the awarding ceremony, let me share with you the several new words that are either being used or have the potential to be used extensively with the advent of blogs. The word blog, as you know is already a crafty shortened version of the words web log. I stumbled upon several such words derived from the word blog, chiefly combination words. The ones that immediately caught my attention are listed below:

Blogaholic – someone who’s life subsists on online blogs

Blogarrhea - An ailment afflicting bloggers. Excessive and frequent evacuation of blog postings, runny ones with little substance, usually indicating emotional distress or disorder.

Blogorrhea - A blog characterized by excessive commenting on irrelevant facts. We say that the blogger suffers from uncontrollable verbal discharge or blogorrhea.

Bloggebrity – n. A person who has become famous through blogging.

Blogworthy – When something happens in your life that is worth mentioning in your blog

Blogalization - Increase in global communication and awareness through the activities of Internet blogging. A coinage, not yet very popular term in English but well spread in French and German

Blogarazzi - Plural noun: bloggers who flock to a news story or event the way paparazzi flock to celebrities.

Bloganova –A variation of "Casanova", referring to a man who is amorously attentive to women, by means of a blog - A Casanova operating through blogs!

Blogathon - A competition between two friends on myspace. The two, three, twelve or more friends each write a blog and compeat to see who gets the most blog views, comments and kudos. The person with the most views, comments, kudos etc. wins the blogathon, thus having the best blog. People who participate in blogathons are usually sad, middle-aged men who live with their mothers and teenage girls trying to prove their popularity.

Bloggerazzi – An individual that waits for authors of popular blogs to post new enteries so that they can be the first to leave a comment.

Bloggerssistic - When someone has a blog that they won't stop talking about.
A: "Have you read my blog yet?"
"You should read my blog."
"Well, if you read my blog, you would already know that."
"I am SO posting this picture on my blog."
B: "Shut up! You are so bloggerssisstic."

Blogiot - Somebody who comes off as an idiot in their blog.

Blogistan - The Blogiverse. The collective term for all webloggers, or "bloggers." (Dhiren – I still love your Blog-Samaj)

Blogiversary - The yearly anniversary of someones web-log (blog)

Blogiarism - Blatant theft of blog contents and/or entries, to be added to any other blog, site or publication without notating the origin or author and without their expressed consent.

Blogopreneur - One who generates income via advertising on their blog

Blogstipation – Inability to think what to blog about!

When I tried to coin some new words based on 'blog', I google-searched the web to see if they were already existing, that is when I found so many of them listed in the Urban Dictionary website . You may scroll down the list on the left hand side to explore many more.

I would like to give this award to the following well-deserved bloggers:



Vinod Sharma – for successfully posting humorous political posts besides his usually brilliant commentaries on the state of politics and the nation, which lend the topic an expanse of oceanic dimensions.

Sakhi – for being able to find a wide variety of subjects for her short stories. One could almost play a game about which subject she would take up next and lose it altogether! I would have missed out on her photography blog if I hadn’t been following her on Twitter!

Nita – for her untiring energy to delve into facts and figures, views and counterviews, practices and observations to cover subjects that our minds had somehow never thought of visiting.

Sahaja – for picking up her camera and letting us see the world through her eyes, besides continuing her everlasting smiles posts about her experiences in her blog.

Mavin – for sharing his thoughts about India and the challenges of personal finances that we face each day, but do not spend enough time to study analytically,

Priyank – for enjoying what he does and posting those breathtaking pictures which capture nature and its freshness – they arrive fresh on your blogspots, Priyank. Makes me wonder - is it Pure Oxygen or Ozone, that you load it with?

IHM – for bringing up subjects, which some of us would rather not want to think about. And deal with them with the sensitivity and truthfulness that make us want to agree, to change the world and get up and act!

Indyeah – for coming up bolder than ever with her opinion. For rooting for it and for letting us know her passion to be teaching little ones and what it means to her.

Usha Pisharody – for her insightful posts and for being a committed teacher too!

Krishnan – for finding some thoughtful gems of tidbits and trivia – especially about literature and books and for sharing all that he finds interesting on his blog.

Manju – for finding inspiring treasures in the heap of news, controversies, gossip and a trillion trivia.

Swaps - for being where he should be ready with his camera and finding some sights that we may have spent a lifetime to find and still may not have, and then sharing it for us all with some clever words or poetry to go down with.

Now, for some of my new finds you too get this award and also I am blogrolling you guys!

Hitchwriter – Dhiren – for being very humorous in his posts about his experiences. It gives me great pleasure to find more bloggers taking to humor, when subjects of intense debate and opinions generally command popularity and get the eyeballs.


Vishesh – for taking up the contest route and for choosing humor as the subject. You’re sure to enjoy this, just as all your readers are too!

Winnie the Poohi - for being innovative in the way you have conducted the interviews of fellow-bloggers. I had come across such a blog “Being-a-blogger”, which had interviewed hugely popular bloggers, but found it was defunct by the time I had discovered it!

To all those who have been commenting on my blog, my sincere thanks! To all fellow bloggers, I may not have posted comments on all your posts, but do be assured that I do make it a point to find time and have been coming over to reading them and enjoying them!

For someone who just wanted to post his write-ups on the net, I have come a long way! It is so nice to feel like we are one big blogging family here. Can't think of a new word for this great feeling, though. Thank you, all!

Dealing with a Four letter F-word

It is high time we dealt with this four letter F-word! Well, I am not referring to the one that is being commonly used to express surprise, shock, anger, awe or all of it at the same time. I am talking about the other 4-letter F-word, which is about the emotion that we all have experienced sometime or the other, Fear!

In early childhood, one may have observed that a young one is usually free from fear. You may be perched at the edge of a high fence or wall, or you may be about to touch the hot tea kettle - you aren’t scared! But could we call it bravery? Certainly not! Being unaware of the dangers can be damaging. So at this very early stage in life, that parents and well-wishers rush in to make the child aware of the impending dangers and be wary of them to protect the tender young one.

Again as a child, does one fear other people? Certainly not! A child normally trusts that the world is full of just the angels they wanted to meet – except, of course, when someone is aggressive. But don’t we want our kids to learn that certain things are, strictly, no-no? “Don’t touch that crystal – it cost us a fortune!”, you yell at the child, for you know how many day’s wages it cost you to buy it and you don’t want him to drop it and break such a lovely possession. It wouldn’t be long before the little imp learns to cope with high decibel levels and continues to do just what he wanted to – pick up that crystal - and throw it!

So your effort to control the child’s behavior has just failed and the child has just learnt how to overcome the “fear” of a yelling adult? Time to look for a better and more effective method, you tell yourself. How about spanking? Or punishing the child, maybe? You are at your wits’ end, nevertheless. You are yet to discover the really effective means to discipline your child, when it is time for the child to go to play-school. Now you have other folks, such as teachers or school administrators, who would be willing to share the responsibility of “formatting” your child to the worldly ways.

But are we as adults at our wits’ end, when it comes to meting out punishments to little ones? Instances of beating up children, making them stand in the hot sun, with bricks on their shoulder, for one. And several such instances.

Is it not time that parents, teachers, educationist and child psychologists got together and listed out punishments that are OK and those that are not?

This is not to deny that efforts are being made to address this issue.

Teachers who are indulging in such incidents are also being dealt with firmly of late.


Do schools have guidelines about how teachers could punish students or how they ought not to? If not, it is high time they did! I feel like conducting a survey on the schools around and find out if they had such dos and donts about the methods of punishment to erring students! In these days of awareness, when the Government has introduced ads on visual media to deal with domestic violence (Knock the door campaign), is it not time to also discourage violence meted out to children in schools?

Once out of school, it is time to join college, perceived to be a fun place, where teachers don’t rap on knuckles or fling dusters anymore. One is not so sure whether the child’s “formatting” was complete or not, but you sure did pass the exams and stuff. So off you go to college – to have fun! But one wonders what one’s idea of fun really is? If it is cracking jokes in the canteen in that occasional time off accruing out of an unwell professor or slipping away to a multiplex near your college once in a while, that may be quite what one expected. But “fun” could mean different things to different people – especially your seniors!

Their idea of fun could be ragging younger newcomers - and that could spell trouble for you! I am not sure how rampant is this practice of ragging, but some extreme cases of violence that get reported by the media, give us an impression that students are certainly crossing borders when it comes to the scale of brutality and cruelty involved in the cases reported. Some college students, however do reveal about some mild forms, like making them dance for a song or some such trivial fun session – certainly not the kind which turns “real fun” into its ugly anagram - “funeral”.

Such gory incidents have been reported recently, notably, that of young Aman Kachhroo. But, after reading the reports about these incidents, one begins to believe that these cases are not just incidents of ragging, but something beyond that – perhaps, persistent bullying. These criminal acts of assault on innocent juniors would certainly be dealt with by the police suitably, I have no doubt about that, but what are we doing to avoid these incidents from happening?

Aman’s father, Rajendra Kachhroo, has begun the “Aman Movement” and several steps have been taken since the spate of events have occurred recently. The President Smt, Pratibha Patil has also written to the Governors of all states as reported here.

Also, a recent news item talks about UGC’s plans to have a toll-free national level call centre as a “Ragging Helpline” being set up to help those in distress on account of this growing menace.

It is with this background that one realizes that the child had not been taught in school, about how to deal with bullies! How come a handful of bullies terrorize so many younger students and harass them endlessly in the college campus? Hey, but weren’t we busy teaching the child to fear all along? Shouldn’t we spare a thought about how the child would cope with bullies in college campuses and prepare them to face such situations?

Isn’t it time to introduce courses and discussion forums to embolden the child, so that one gathers courage to speak up against the scourge of bullying and deal with this menace more effectively? Personally, I think it is very important to address this issue – perhaps as important as sex education in schools, the importance of which is being stressed upon by one and all.

The world is yet to learn to cope with terrorists, extremists, tyrants, scamsters, criminals, dadagiri, and what-have-you – all bullies of a kind! Special trainers, who inspire victims of this form of abuse to collectively confront such bullies. Experts are needed, who may equip youngsters to deal with toughies and help set up a forum in every educational institute to counsel the offending brute. Indeed, the need of the hour!

Bloggers’ Postscript: I had been wanting to write about this for a long time. I had been posting my rare serious posts elsewhere, especially in Tickled by Life website. So after I uploaded this article on that website, I felt the only way to reach out to all my regular readers would be by posting this article in full here! Friends, this is just tickling of another kind, as I have learnt!

Zoopremely Zooperb idea!

We find creativity in every walk of life, but don’t happen to notice it. Perhaps because we think that creativity necessarily means creating some thing new. There is no denying that creativity can take several forms. Certain activities do involve a high degree of creativity, such as writing a short story or a poem, composing a new song, painting a landscape or a portrait or just about some abstract expression.

Advertising has been vastly banking on creative ideas – they always need to have some new ideas to attract eyeballs – “attention-getting value”, as they say. Take the example of zoozoos of the Vodafone series of ads that have been a rage on our television screens recently. Everyone thought the ads used the animation technique and that models had nothing to do with them. We learnt how wrong we were when Mumbai Mirror published a couple of articles on how these ads were created! Read all about it here!





Please click on the images to enlarge

You may have certainly seen these ads which have become popular on the TV and are also available on YouTube

Though the field of advertising has always been a profession which valued creativity and thrived on new ideas, one finds refreshingly new concepts take shape in every field – be it the performing arts, literature, photography, music, as is popularly believed.

It cannot be denied that some professions offer better opportunities to showcase your creativity, though in reality, whatever your passion, interest or profession, you could always be creative and look for some new ideas or some better ways to do the same old things. If we look around there is a lot of creativity around us.

We all need to think out of the box. Except, of course, Dr. Vijay Mallya, who needs to think out of the bottle.

Experts' Predictament

“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future”, said Niels Bohr, aptly.

For this predicament faced by experts, in making a prediction, I have coined a new word, “Predictament”.
hurrah – I just coined a new word!
That's how much I love neologism!)

However it doesn’t deter experts from sticking their neck out to indulge in crystal-gazing of sorts and make those prophesies, that forecast the course of future events or results. We have just seen the psephologists take centre-stage during the electoral process that just got underway. Equipped with a great deal of information in their chosen field of study, they boast of possessing various techniques to predict the outcomes of the polls. The season offers them ample airtime to showcase their skills and put forth their own “verdict” – not before putting forth several possible scenarios and the most likely outcome and their reasons for their choice.

Well, this is generally the time, I am itching for those zoozoos to come up and provide the much needed comic relief. Anyway, finally all that matters was the real results, which came to us live all of yesterday – we finally have a car without the “Left-Hand Drive” sign tagged to its rear! The shear thought of handing over the brakes to one party, the accelerator to another, the steering wheel to yet another gives the citizen enough fright to ride such a vehicle. We are glad that such not being the case, all that is needed is to have some wheel-alignment check done before continuing on our journey of reform and progress.

Though experts in every field are entrusted the task of envisaging what lies ahead, it is the stock market experts that have drawn my attention and held me in a vice-like grip for several years now. Be it the Annual Budget, the monetary policy, the foreign trade policy or the election results – how will the markets react to the various possible scenarios is something that this bunch of enlightened professionals embark upon before each such event.

Predicting the course of the stock-markets, indeed is like handing over a car fitted with a windshield mirror instead of a glass and asking a Formula One champ to drive it based on how the road wound and swerved behind him! The poor fella’s got to figure how the road will turn in front – there is no way he can peep into the road ahead and neither is anyone driving back in the opposite direction to ask him for some tips. At least not until the time machine becomes a reality.

So I like these smart chaps coming one after the other and tell us, “If the Sensex crosses 13000, it will see 14500 and if it slides below 11500, it will see 10250”

“I don’t know why people are not buying into the markets – the fundamentals are really strong!”

“I don’t see buying coming until the bottom has been formed”

Well, the hunt for the elusive bottom at the bourses is something that is every investor’s fancy. “Do you see a bottom?” “Is the bottom in place?”

“If all goes well the bottom is behind us!”

Listening to all this, it appears that anyone of us could be those experts! If you can figure out the bottom by the time the artist is working on the shoulder, I suppose I could handle that!

The recent rise in the stock markets – the run up from Sensex at 8k to 12k before the announcement of the results is a case in point. It reminds me of the comic dialog by the legendary comedian Asit Sen ,who characterized his funnies as a stockily built man swinging his arms as he walked and talked slower than his movements. In one of his movies, he enters the room of the Sethji seeking his permission thus:

“Kyaaaa main andar aaaaaaaa saktaaaaaaa hoooooonnnnnnnn?
Arreeeyyy, main to andar aaaaa bheeeee gayaaaaaaaaaaa...!” (Hindi, for "May i come in? Oh, I have already come in!")
as he stood in the center of the big room in front of the Sethji!

This is how the markets had already climbed up before we knew they were bouncing back. And that indeed is their Predictament!

Often, when we watch the news on any non-eventful day the market has surged a couple of hundred points and my wife asks me “Why did it go up today?”
“Because it had gone down too much, I suppose” I reply.
Let alone predict, I cannot even explain why the markets went up or down after the event. The entire fun is in not knowing, I suppose.

Blogger’s Postscripts:
1. For once, I will be able to tell why the market went up on Monday 18th May 09 – because of the prospect of a stable government at the centre! But will my wife ask?

2. Just when I was typing out this piece and a suitable heading for it, the idea of coining the new word came to me – it was my Ah-ha moment!

My best blogpost

This post may seem like a small little game for my blog readers and even to the recent visitors to my blog who have not read my older posts.

Below is the list of my favorite humorous blogposts. Please read them and let me know which according to you is the best one?

Many of you may have read all these posts, but if you havent read them, please do so now before you take your pick. If you think there is any other post that i may not have listed here, you are welcome to point out!

Newcomers are requested to read these posts before making your choice!

This list is in chronological order - beginning with the earliest ones first!

1. Mobile Supermaniac

2. Daughters are forever

3. Determined Diggers Unite

4. Right in the Middle

5. My Password Phobia

6. Biometric Allergy - Mark my presence

7. Human Beans

8. Animal Qualms

9. A Tickle after a Tipple

10. Pot(hole)s of Money

11. The Baap Trap

12. A Rotimaker for the Kitchen

13. Palin Talk

14. Tagged on Feminism

15. The Satyam about monkey attacks

16 A bit of this and that

17.Gadbad, I scream

18. Breaking News all around

19. Bhaagore.com

20. My thinking shoes

So now that you have read my funniest posts, do let me know the best post - the one that you liked most.

Eagerly awaiting your comments.

Getting Board?

When my wife's cousin, Ashwin came down from Bangalore for a brief stay recently, I found some really funny signboards and stuff that he had clicked while on the move.

So when I requested him to share it with me for posting on my blog, he was kind enough to agree.

"Mere Paas Maa hai"


Certainly couldn't be for sale with biscuits and snacks? This Maa turned out to be some Mango juice, Maaza or its distant cousin...thankfully!

"If US offers HotDogs, we offer Veg Pups"


Before Maneka Gandhi and the animal activists descend on the scene, let me clarify that inquiries revealed that they were offering Veg Puffs and Egg Puffs!

Now here are some chatpata "Name-keens", as Ashwin calls them

"Baap Ka Maal" it says. Attitude indeed!


"Pocket Faad ke" Do they mean our wallet? Perhaps!


That's "do aur do paanch" - Adds up to more!

Funny Restaurant Board

Can you figure this out? You get the restaurant along with ...?

Funny Zoo Sign


Funny Dog Sign


What we can call a Sureshot Message Sign


Looking for directions? Check out this Funny Roadsign


Do you find yourselves at such junctures at times?

You have been warned!


Apparently some were found on the information superhighway! Thanks for the pics, Ashwin!