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My Medical Allowance Form was recently returned along with the Bills, with a small note from our HR Section, which read : “We are sorry to inform you that you cannot claim Medical Allowance and any Tax benefits with your Grocery Bills” It was only a mix-up - “I had picked up the wrong set of bills for filling up the form”, I explained…" This could be confirmed with the accounts department, who had received my petrol reimbursement claim with my medical bills attached!
Such goofing up is just part of my life. I was recently waiting to board a domestic flight at the Mumbai Airport, when my turn to check-in came, I casually handed over the bookmarks, which I often carry along with the books that I read on flights! “Boarding Pass, Please!”, thundered the Security guy at the check-in counter! I realized that I had kept them in my handbag, which had already gone through the screening machine, waiting for me to pick up at the other end!
For me, things begin happening early each day. I pick up the shaving cream tube instead of my toothpaste, when I need to brush my teeth and just the opposite happens moments later when I go for a shave. The darned tubes look so similar! So I have now switched my brands and place where I store them. Now, I shave with my shaving cream before my breakfast and brush my teeth with the toothpaste after my breakfast, without any mix-up whatsoever!
I can never mistake my shoe polish for my black hair dye, though! If you thought it is some “Poka-Yoke” measure against erring as the Japanese practice on their shopfloors, you’re mistaken. I simply do not use black hair dye. I have two sets of shoes, though, brown and black – and it is increasingly difficult to distinguish the two.
Since I am not so useful around work at home, I am entrusted with outside work like in the banks, post offices. Once when I set out with our Housing Society’s maintenance cheque to be deposited in the drop box near the gate and a letter to be posted in the Post Box around the corner, our Society’s accountant, a poor kindly soul, came back with the letter but how do I get that cheque back?
But then there are exceptions. I never ever go to my Dentist, when I really need to go to my Doctor. In fact I never go to my Dentist, even when I need to go to my Dentist!
With such instances to boast, my friends once suggested to me that I could claim to be the living inspiration behind the popular “Mr. Bean” and get some royalty money! In these times of competition, would I make it to this coveted title? Or may be there would be many claimants? After all isnt there a little “Mr. Bean” in every Human Bean? Err, Human Being, I mean?
Now for some pics for what happened when I set out to claim my royalty...
Mr. Bean was pleased to see me!
“What Nonsense!” he said when he heard my claim!
“You are just off the mark!” He said and made some faces like he always does!
“Can you not see so many people queued up outside, claiming to be my inspiration like you?"
PS: Humor often involves observations of the funny side of human behavior for which one needs a subject to direct the fun at. Who can it be? The best option, I was told, is to direct it to oneself. That way you don’t offend anyone, which is very important. I do make exceptions( like our beloved politicians) once in a while, though. So here I am pulling my own legs again!
