Modi-fied Cricket

This post has been featured by Blogadda as a Saturday Spicy Pick on 10.04.10

My daughter’s final exams may prevent her from enjoying the DLF IPL3 on right now, but that does not mean she does not (read: we do not) have our share of sneak-peak into the fast-paced action on live TV once in a while. Come on, everyone needs a Strategic Time Out! The humble ‘break’, we learn, is now Modi-fied to a ‘Maxx Mobile Strategic Timeout’. I don’t know if the break, which we take when my daughter finds the accounting stuff too taxing or the tax muddle too much to balance, can be called a DLF IPL Strategic Timeout or Maxx Timeout – without attracting a demand from the mighty sponsors or the innovative genius who walks this planet by the name of Lalit Kumar Modi. He has transformed the gentleman’s game into an opportunity for commerce for every action, be it a deed or mis-deed, a hap or mis-hap, an event or a non-event, a moment or a non-moment!
He has indeed crunched the game in hours and packed it with action and adverts, without yelling out "Honey, I shrunk the game!" So though I am quite sure one may learn more about real life commerce watching how the genius does it with ads appearing between deliveries than from academic journals, one has to hide one’s beliefs so that one’s child focuses on her exams!

So quickly I shut off the television set so that she can get back to her study schedule and I can muse about what other ideas the genius can come up with next? If he has come up with a Karbonn Kamal Catch, how about a Talcum powder brand or some hair oil brand that would fall for a catch that slips through one’s fingers on to terra firma? If he has already thought about the DLF maximum to replace what used to be a mere ‘sixer’, how about roping in a 2-minute noodle brand for a cheeky single? Or a mobile service provider with a per-half-second billing plan to vie for the same event – a cheeky single? How about featuring a fly-by-night financing company, who promises to double your money in 4 hours (which incidentally is the duration of the 20-20 match), to sponsor the event when a certain single gets converted into 2 runs by the sheer genius of the batsman, who make it in the nick of time by diving into the crease? We could call it “Get-Rich Double”!

After exhausting every part of the T-shirt, bat, stumps, ground – and did they miss the pads? Soon one will see some logo on the pads and hand-guards, I guess, unless I have missed it by some oversight. I guess the right palm of the captain which keeps appearing while moving the field back and forth, left and right is another area yet to be explored. But then IPL3 is more about moments! We could call a stumping a “WalkMan” event or term a caught behind the wicket now as a “Rear-Guard” action. Well, frankly this throws up chances of products being named after cricketing moments! The coveted milestone of 100 runs by a batsman, erstwhile called a ‘century’ can be coined as a “Fevistick Innings” Again, why should every “successful” moment be called a "Citi Moment of Success", when there are several successes that one experiences on the field?

Stressful moments are yet to have takers at the time of going to press. Several possibilities present themselves on the cricketing ground, which can itself be called by whatever-it-is that an eager sponsor wants to call it! Even injuries can be renamed as “Iodex” or “Tiger Balm” moments or even Health Insurance products and hospitalization plans or any other abstract product that can imagination can find a connection to reach out to the millions watching the 20-20 moments on television. One cannot rule out advertising agencies to recommend this spot to adventure sports academies or bank recovery agents to jump into the advertising bandwagon, since opportunity poses itself in the form of some writhing youngster in the middle of the cricket pitch. A batsman suffering from cramps could be an “ORS rehydration” moment.

Uncertain moments like the “upstairs” referrals of run outs could be much sought after by Equity Investment advisors for their Portfolio Management (PMS) products or Mutual funds – or wait a minute – by cricket betting syndicates, albeit only as surrogate moments of expectancy! The ushering in of a new era of 20-20 has brought with it a plethora of opportunities. An idea can change your life, as one telecom adline goes, but this idea can change the lifestyle of all those who associate themselves and are prepared to be Modi-fied!

Before Geoffrey Boycott can say “It’s not cricket”, Lalit Modi could call it by some other name. I cant tell what though. Until such time, let’s call it ‘Modi-fied Cricket’.

Encashing on opportunities, thy name is Lalit Kumar Modi!

The Genius named Lalit Kumar Modi

Whatnonsanz!

Disclaimer: The brand names used in this post are real and have used only for making an effective point about the reality of the biggest reality show on Indian TV (or is it TV anywhere in the world?). Competitors are advised not to waste their time trying to haggle with me why i did not pick their brands, and instead rush to Lalit Modi for making their Lalit-moment a dream come true!