Gadbad, I scream!

1. Mangalore – Gadbad, I scream!
If there is anything I cannot forget about my visit to Mangalore, some years ago, it is the “Gadbad” Icecream. Though this post says 'Gadbad' means something missing, this post does reveal it really means hodge-podge or commotion as in “gadbad – ghotala” in Marathi!

But the recent “gadbad” (commotion) has frayed tempers among one and all. Rightly so, I feel! Self appointed custodians of Indian culture cannot assault someone to enforce what they think is immoral, can they? Can we accept that people who go around slapping and manhandling women (if I may say so) be considered custodians of our culture? A shameful incident of this kind is worthy only of condemnation and nothing else.

When shocked citizens of our country demands such right-wing organizations to be banned, politicians call them “activists”, which incidentally is a slur on activism itself. Even calling this act “pseudo-activism” smacks of leniency and gross underplay of reality. “Just one incident cannot justify a ban”, we are told. So we need to wait for a dozen such attacks before they can be banned, right? But, what is more surprising, our wonderful politicians have chosen to justify their actions by pledging to put an end to “pub culture”! While citizens demand action against vandalism and attacks on innocents, they are committed to put an end to PDA – public display of affection! Beloved Mantriji (s), the citizens want you to put an end to PDA - the public display of anger by such self-styled extremists being unleashed on innocent, law-abiding citizens.

Gadbad, I scream!

2. Global Gadbad ahead!
So couples holding hands in malls in our country will soon be hounded by hoodlums (I refuse to call them “moral police”) on the pretext of ‘protecting our culture’. My friends from the USA tell me, “they wouldn’t tolerate any such nonsense here. But then, of late, if you are holding your wife’s hand in a mall, it is because she will just go buy something if you don’t, you see!” So who could be against one holding one’s wife’s hand in the USA? The US government would! Not because it is considered an immoral act. The US Government is worried about the reluctance of the Americans to spend. If they don’t spend the ‘American Dream’ will come to an end. And with that dream are linked the fortunes of so many countries. By fortunes, I actually mean jobs - livelihoods, not wealth. Everyone is worried about the Americans not spending 120 % of what they would earn in the next ten years. The hand that is being held back from spending is causing millions of jobs to disappear the world over!

I received a video link by email, of a one-hour talk by Mr M R Venkatesh, an economist, which, I sincerely hope all readers of my blog MUST MUST WATCH, whenever time permits.
Link to the Video of Mr. M R Venkatesh’s lecture on Globalisation , the Dollar domination and the present state of the American Economy.
DO LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT THIS VIDEO - PERHAPS DO ALSO WRITE A SEPARATE POST ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK IS THE SOLUTION TO THIS GLOBAL PROBLEM FACING ALL COUNTRIES DEPENDING ON USA'S ECONOMY!

Do also read M R Venkatesh's open letter to Ben Bernanke here.

Bloggers’ Post-scripts




1. My blog has been awarded the lovely “Versatile Blogger” and “I love your blog" Awards by fellow-blogger Sahaja! Thank you , Sahaja, I am honored! Readers already know how much I like this idea of bloggers awarding other bloggers,when I have said that "It happens only in Blogosphere"!
I pass the “I love your blog” award to all those whom I have blog-rolled alongside.
2. A tweet has been doing the rounds, which I am sharing with my readers, which goes thus
“Without a pub, our republic will only be a mere relic”.
Btw, do join Twitter, it is a micro-blogging platform where you can post short and sweet wonderful beauties.

3. National Commission for Women's Nirmala Venkatesh’s findings on the pub incident and the video link of her revelations on CNN IBN here.

I wonder what she means when she says, “the girls were wearing so many ‘nude clothes’…. ”? Some new brand of clothing that she is promoting, do you think?

A Bit of this and that

What can happen if you get hit by a terrorist attack, followed by the mother of all Indian financial scams, followed by various political wannabes, like Raj Thackarey and Sanjay Dutt trying to get a slice of the TRP cake on National news media? It is no different from a blow on the head after which one begins to forget everything ala Ghajini! So what was I blogging about? Oh yes, about nothing in particular - just about this and that. So here we go.

To begin with, the investigating team appointed to probe the Satyam scamam faced severe problems. Suddenly B. Ramalinga Raju forgot how to speak, whenever asked any question about the goings-on in Satyam! Experts advised the investigators not to repeat words like “inflated assets” “fudging accounts” “confessional letter” and the like of which you have been reading in the press, because he would begin to behave like the muscular violent character, Sanjay Singhania, which is portrayed by Aamir Khan in the recent Rs. 200+ Crore blockbuster, Ghajini.

The standby medical fraternity diagnosed it to be a case of Ghajinitis also known as STML - Not Short Term Memory Loss - Satyam Truth Memory Loss. Enterprising chap, this. No outdated methods like pain in the chest or stuff like that for the modern cyber-savvy Raju. He goes for the latest ailment in town!

Eminent psychiatrists then suggested that all such depressing subjects should be avoided and some light humorous subjects should be discussed. He fished out his laptop and google-searched for “Satyam + Humor” and a whole lot of blogposts (including my two posts on the subject) popped up. B. Ramalinga Raju was offered to go through these humor blogs and posts so that he will be back in good humor and may just about blurt out the Satyam, the truth, that is.

When he read my post on the monkeys stealing my tadgolas, the trick worked, “Not just tadgolas – FDs worth RS. 1200 Crores” he exclaimed, to a round of loud peals of laughter! When the news of his modus-operandi broke out on the net, I was with some brilliant Chartered Accountants from a reputed firm named “Professionals Without Clues”, PWC (not to be confused with PwC – kindly notice the enlargement of the middle). Even the finest brains in their organisation confess to me that they cannot imagine how this could have been pulled off! “You need a certificate of cash and deposit balances from the bank to support it!”, they scream in unison.


“Wait just a while”, I tell them. “Raju is planning to set up a University to teach you all how he did it”. Soon, you can join their SIFYlliate program, as it will be called.

In the meanwhile, Sanjay Dutt and Manyata are hell bent to let the universe know “What is in a name?” Lots! Especially if a ticket to the ensuing polls is involved. The blogosphere is abuzz with their Amaanyata (Disapproval) of the Munnabhai-speak which they say smacks of chauvinism. You can read it by clicking through several posts through this anchor post by IHM, for better and for verse.

What else can you expect from a guy who has been there (in jail) and done that (guns and drugs)? If the off-screen Munnabhai would really want to follow the ideals of Gandhigiri, he would give up his name for the cause like this unique story below.

Story : What’s in a name?
ASHEVILLE, N.C. - A 19-year-old Asheville teenager said she legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com to protest animal dissections in schools. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Asheville High graduate Jennifer Thornburg now wants to be called Cutout. Her new legal name is the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals' site.
The teenager said she began opposing dissections in middle school, after a class assignment to dissect a chicken wing made her uncomfortable. She helped create a policy at her high school that allows students who object to dissections to complete an alternative assignment.

Whether one wants to retain their maiden surname or her husbands surname or both or none or something like the above is a personal matter of choice. As this article says , women are lucky to have this choice – men don’t – they are stuck with the name they are born with.

Well, actually Sanjay Dutt can change his name to AnythingForATicket.com. He may not prefer a name like DoSomeGandhigiri.com!

Btw, Do you know what is common between the Bacchan-Gandhi family feud, the Ambani Brothers' family feud and the Dutt siblings family feud?
Amar Singh!
Family feuds Amar Rahe!

Welcome Obama!
Chirag Thakkar and Jayesh Gandhi of Surat, Gujarat dedicate a Hindi song to Barack Hussein Obama on his swearing-in as the President of United States of America. Hear this out guys, it's pretty cool!

Endgame: Guess what Obama will say when the dog he promised his daughters goes about lifting its leg in the White House?
“No – you can’t!”

Blogger's Postscript: I am not posting anything about that neighbouring country - Raj Thackerey might just target all blogs with such names of countries or their cities like he did to a sweet shop named "Karachi Sweets". If you follow Ramesh Srivats on twitter, you will know what he believes - that Mysore Pak will be the next target! You are right Ramesh, but would they attack because of "Mysore" or "Pak"? Because the Senas have started attacking theatres screening Kannada films in Maharashtra to rake up the border issue too!

With so many blows on our head, we are sure to suffer from Ghajinitis and forget all about our main target - the terrorists!

This happens only in Blogosphere!

Have you ever read or heard of an award that Rakhi Sawant got from Mallika Sherawat?
Or the one that Pritamda awarded to AR Rehman?
Or that Sonam Kapoor bestowed on Deepika Padukone?
Or that Vidhu Vinod Chopra awarded Sanjay Leela Bhansali?

You didn't. Because, they simply didn't!

Did Sachin Tendulkar give an award to Sania Mirza?
Did Saina Nehwal give it to Abhinav Bindra?
Did Harbhajan give it to Shreesanth or even to Andrew Symmonds?

Did NR Narayanamurthy give an award to Aziz Premji?
Did Anil Ambani give it to Mukesh Ambani?
Or Atalji give an award to Advaniji? Or even to Manmohanji? Or to Soniaji?

Did Buddhadev Bhattacharya give an award to Mamata Bannerji?
Even though she did a better job of driving away industry from the state than all the Left parties did in their entire lifetimes put together, he didnt!

Niether did Balasaheb award Raj Thackeray!
Even though his attempt to drive away "outsiders" surpassed all the Senior Tiger's past efforts on similar lines - he didnt!

Btw - "Outsiders" can be the Indian Word of the Year 2008. What say?

But I got an award from fellow-blogger, and a more creative writer than myself Indyeah! I have blogrolled you, Indyeah and thank you so much for the award!

The Kreativ Blogger award is sitting smugly at the top alongside. Beautiful isnt it? Some people even think I deserve it! I am proud to belong to the blogosphere, where one receives an award from equally or perhaps even more worthy of Creativity than I am! This happens only in the blogosphere!

So three cheers for all of us in the blogosphere! We are much better than the filmy artistes, business barons and the politicians, who never award each other.

I confer the Kreative Blogger award to two very creative bloggers that I have been thoroughly impressed with ever since I have begun blogging:



1. Ramesh Srivats - Let's Put da

2. Satish Acharya - The world of an Indian Cartoonist

I am sure they deserve this award for being very creative in their blogposts.

Come on, applaud to the high pitch of drumrolls, please!

I would also like to once again thank all those who had awarded me in the past!

Tickled by Life!
Another thing that happens only in the blogosphere is an invitation to write for other blogs/websites. When I found this simply wonderful young website, on personality development, training and life issues, aptly named "Tickled by life". I was surprised to find more than 60 ticklers, posting their tickles on this website.

And I was thinking I was the lone tickler, stupid me! When I read their most popular tickles, I found that these tickles were of a different kind. They tickled someplace else! In a way that would make you think and want to change!

I left a message "from one tickler to another". Soon enough I got an invitation to write for their website! I grabbed the opportunity to be one among 60+ ticklers.

Do read my first contribution on tickledbylife.com!

Do subscribe to tickledbylife - I am sure you all will simply love it!

I am sure the blogosphere can do a lot more to humanity than you can ever imagine!

Thank you, all! Proud to be a blogger!

Words Of The Year 2008

We all know that business channels declare the Businessman of the Year, certain media houses announce the Indian of the Year and so on, but do you know that publishers of dictionaries like the Oxford American Dictionary, Merriam Webster Dictionary and certain language societies like the American Dialect Society, and organizations who monitor trends in the English language like Global Language Monitor announce the Word Of The Year (WOTY), each year?

So which word has made it to be the WOTY 2008?

Have a look:
The New Oxford American Dictionary has announced their Oxford WOTY 2008: …….
Oh, but don’t we generally announce the nominations first?
So here you go…
There are many nominations, I would like to list two which did not make it to the final list though, which I liked:
staycation – a vacation taken at or near one’s home, taking day trips, and such other activities
tweet – a short message sent via the Twitter service, using a cellphone or other mobile device.
The finalists from among the nominations for the Oxford WOTY 2008 are:
frugalista – person who leads a frugal lifestyle, but stays fashionable and healthy by swapping clothes, buying second-hand, growing own produce,
moofer – a mobile out of office worker – ie. someone who works away from a fixed workplace, via Blackberry/laptop/wi-fi etc. (also verbal noun, moofing)
If you want to find out more about moofing, visit this website
topless meeting – Hey it is not what you thought! It is a meeting in which the participants are barred from using their laptops, Blackberries, cellphones, etc.
toxic debt – mainly sub-prime debts that are now proving so disastrous to banks. They were parceled up and sent around the global financial system like toxic waste, hence the allusion.
hypermiling - coined in 2004 by Wayne Gerdes, who runs this web site.

Hypermiling or to hypermile, is to attempt to maximize gas mileage by making fuel-conserving adjustments to one’s car and one’s driving techniques. Rather than aiming for good mileage or even great mileage, hypermilers seek to push their gas tanks to the limit and achieve hypermileage, exceeding EPA ratings for miles per gallon.

Oxford Word of the Year 2008: Hypermiling
Many of the methods followed by hypermilers are basic common sense—drive the speed limit, avoid hills and stop-and-go traffic, maintain proper tire pressure, don’t let your car idle, get rid of excess cargo—but others practiced by some devotees may seem slightly eccentric:
• driving without shoes (to increase the foot’s sensitivity on the pedals)
• parking so that you don’t have to back up to exit the space
• “ridge-riding” or driving with your tires lined up with the white line at the edge of the road to avoid driving through water-filled ruts in the road when it’s raining
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger advocates the practice, referring to it as EcoDriving.
I like the word coined by Arnold though!

The Merriam Webster Dictionary WOTY 2008
1. bailout
2. vet
3. socialism
4. maverick
5. bipartisan
6. trepidation
7. precipice
8. rogue
9. misogyny
10. turmoil

And the winner of the Merriam Webster Dictionary WOTY 2008 is :
1. bailout (noun)- a rescue from financial distress

The American Dialect Society’s WOTY 2008

ADS WORD OF THE YEAR WINNER: bailout, the rescue by the government of companies on the brink of failure, including large players in the banking industry.
Other nominees for the ADS word of the year:
Barack Obama: Both names as combining forms in a large number of new words. A combining form is a word or part of a word that can be used as the root or basis of other words.
lipstick on a pig: An adornment of something that can't be made pretty.
change: Not so much a buzzword as political wallpaper, background noise, and ambient energy rolled into one. The idea of discarding old ideas and methods seemed to underlie everything said by national political candidates.
shovel-ready: Used to describe infrastructure projects that can be started quickly when funds become available
game-changer: In business and politics, something that alters the nature of a marketplace, relationship, or campaign. From sports ‘something that changes a match or contest.’


Global Language Monitor

The Global Language Monitor has been selecting the Top Ten Words of the Year since 2000. To select these words and phrases it uses a statistical analysis of language usage in the worldwide print and electronic media, on the Internet and throughout the Blogosphere.

Global Language Monitor announced the Top 10 words and phrases for 2008 as follows:

The Top Ten Words of 2008 announced by Global Language Monitor
1. Change – The top political buzzword of the 2008 US Presidential campaign.
2. Bailout – Would have been higher but was not in the media until Mid-September.
3. Obamamania – Describing the worldwide reaction to Barack Obama’s campaign and subsequent victory in the US presidential race.
4. Greenwashing – Repositioning a product to stress its Earth-friendly attributes.
5. Surge – Military and political strategy often cited as reducing violence in Iraq.
6. Derivative – Exotic financial instruments used to cleverly package junk-grade debt.
7. Subprime – Mortgages that were packaged as derivatives.
8. Foreclosure – The end-result of the sub-prime mess.
9. Phelpsian: New word coined to describe the Phelpsian Pheat of winning eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics.
10. Chinglish – The often amusing Chinese/English language hybrid that Beijing tried to stamp out before the Olympics began.

The Top Ten Phrases of 2008 announced by Global Language Monitor
1. Financial Tsunami – Worldwide financial meltdown ultimately stemming from derivatives used to package subprime mortgages.
2. Global Warming – The No. 2 buzzword of the US Presidential Campaign.
3. Yes We Can — Yes, indeed, he could and he did.
4. Lame Duck – What happens when you wait 2 ½ months from election to inauguration.
5. Working Class Whites – Apparently, working Class Whites is used as a code word for whites who are working class.
6. “It is, what it is” – On everyone’s lips this year meaning ‘unfortunately, those are the facts’.
7. Lip Synching: The fate of Lin Miaoke, the little girl who didn’t sing the song the whole world sings in the Olympics opening ceremony.
8. Price of oil – Oil was supposed to topping out about now at $200/barrel.
9. Super Tuesday – When the race for the Democratic nomination was supposed to be decided.
10. Suddenness Happens – Top Chinglish Phrase from the Beijing Olympics.

Interesting, isnt it?
Words of the Year are not necessarily new words introduced in that year. Just a reflection of the times we have been through. But dont you think that the words largely reflected incidents in the US, mostly the elections held there? Do you think of any words that could have been nominated or actually deserved the WOTY 2008? Which word do you think reflects the scene in India in 2008? Do write in your comments!

Cat among the pigeons

The cat is out of the bag. This time it is a wild one. Raju, whom the world thought had “ban gaya gentleman”, by blocking the Satyam-Maytas deal, has admitted to fraudulent accounting. While facing Business channels or at investor forums, he never needed to worry whether the company could make the figures. Why make figures when one can make them up? In fact, this blogger has learnt that Aravind Adiga (who wrote “The White Tiger”), Arundhati Roy, Salman Rushdie and their ilk are now worried that the next year’s award for works of fiction would certainly go to the financials of Satyam!

If one reads his letter to the Board of Directors of his company, one can understand that the poor chap had been riding a tiger, supposedly to protect himself from being eaten by other wilder, bigger beasts of the corporate jungle by way of acquisitions. The poor chap also explains how what began as a small adjustment grew large over the years. So in an effort to bridge the yawning gap, he had to think out of the box and come up with this ingenious idea of Satyam-Maytas deal, which would then make the large gap look like a small crack in the wall all over again! As about the selection of Maytas, well, which Papa doesn’t do his bit (this was a large bite, though) for his rising son?

The letter also describes how difficult it is to get off a riding tiger, lest he eat him up! Well, one always thought riding it would be a danger in itself! But in his own admission, it wasn’t – he rode it for years, in fact, her rode it all along, as it grew up. So he wished to ride it until it became older and perhaps lost all its teeth, and then he could get off it without any fear. But it was not to be. The angry voices of the small fry and the business media channels, who amplified them, forced the poor guy to alight much earlier. Now one wonders whether the wild cat will eat him or go for the millions of small investors and employees of the company, instead. But seeing the mayhem on the Satyam counter, the bloodshed seems to be due to the latter, while the one who rode the tiger will be tried by an ass named ‘law’.

Investors would now eagerly wait to see if SEBI and our laws have the requisite teeth or whether they are toothless too so our poor chap can save himself from biting beasts of the jungle. Poor chap. Our “experts” are already saying that we need a law to handle this kind of a “financial terror” unleashed on the general public at large. Isn’t it amazing that we have thousands of archaic, draconian laws but not the law that we need to have?

I can now understand why some CA’s never appreciated the creativity in my writing and insisted that their jobs were more creative than my whatnonsanz. I understand it now - Creative Accountancy by CAs, if I may say so is the most elegant expansion, actually a euphemism at best, of CA, (considering that the other forms like “Chaloo Accountants”, “Chor Accountants”…and..believe me, there are other worse forms doing the rounds, that the editor of this blog has serious objections with, since there is every likelihood of children reading this post thinking it is about domestic pets, besides pets themselves who read my posts).

In spite of my Monkey attack post, one fails to understand why the investing community was shocked to learn about what was already suspected? Could we call this a black swan event too? Was it not, like Mavin explained in his post, not predicable and yet so shocking? Would there be many more corporate czars riding tigers? I just hope the population of such tigers don’t exceed the population of the tigers in the wild. Cannot be “paper tigers”, shall we call them “vapour tigers” because that is what happens to the investment? So when this cat is out of the bag, it will be a wild cat among the pigeons, the small investors, that is!

“Do you hold any Satyam shares?”, I got mails from concerned friends and fellow-bloggers. “No!” I told them proudly. And since I am not even planning to write a fiction book, or be a contender for the Man Booker Prize, which is certainly going to the financials of Satyam this year, I decided to celebrate it with a special dessert after dinner tonight.

“How about some hot chocolate fudge for dessert tonight?”, I asked my wife. Fudge would certainly be Raju's favorite dessert, I guess!

Raju, on the other hand, may now have to eat crow!

2009 is here!

On a holiday, I wake up early and go for my long brisk walk in the Sanjay Gandhi National Park (SGNP). On working days, I go in the evenings, to a quiet and lonely area called Abhinav Nagar, so that I can walk brisk safely. On the first day of 2009, I had the opportunity to visit the SGNP, being a holiday. On the way, I found some dogs cuddled together and sleeping in the cold, eventful morning, blissfully unaware of the arrival of the new year. It wouldn’t matter to the animals, insects, trees and birds that would greet me at the park, as always. This man-made phenomenon is peculiar to human beings – dividing time by years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds, keeping track of them all! We then, foolishly believe that, since we have developed the concept of time, we can manage it too!

Time Management! Can anyone manage time? Does it not manage itself? What one needs to manage is oneself with respect to time. After one attends a seminar on “Time Management”, one just puts the ideas to sleep and don’t take any of the advice that “experts” dole out there. No one needs advice. That is why it is given away so freely – because no one can use it anyway! I try not to give advice. I don’t necessarily succeed, though. If any of my earlier posts seemed like advice, they were not intended to be.

Human beings have also given birth to the concept of a new year resolution. I have never been able to keep my resolutions longer than a week. So one year, I resolved not to make one ever again. That is the only one I could keep for decades! I began walking regularly last year – not as a new year’s resolution. This was as an outcome of a brief illness forcing me to have some medical tests done. The medical report revealed that my cholesterol/triglycerides were on the higher side! It worked! More than the tons of advice, I got; better than a new year’s resolution. Events like illnesses, medical reports, failing health are god’s signal to tell us to take it easy, take care and look after ourselves. He has His ways of telling us!

The last year was also when I revived my writing habit. I got the idea about the article “Middle Man”, (which got published in the Indian Express), while on my brisk walk. In fact, most of the ideas for my articles and posts have come to me while I walk alone. I will walk even if my triglycerides, gets back in the acceptable range. I am saying this so that you don’t have to pray for it to remain up there to enjoy my posts! How stupid of me to assume you are enjoying and hoping I would continue to write! There is abundant human stupidity inside me, that you will read about in my future whatnonsanz posts, disguised as “artickles”. My decision in 2008, to write about observational humor, was one such act. I wanted to get HIGH in my own way – get Headlong Into Good Humour!

Time for some quiz:
Q. What is common between a software engineer, a beggar and a writer?
A. They all need a platform! - I found mine last year @ Blogger!
I must thank Blogger for providing me that platform, fellow-bloggers, friends and relatives, for their kind and encouraging comments from time to time.

My feedburner tally reads 50 today! Add another 300+ friends of the Tandon Group and relatives and friends, who tell me that they wait for the next post.
Maybe people like to read my nonsanz, I tell myself.

In my last post, I had written about how difficult it is to Get Out of D’s habits. While walking back, I thought of two more GOODs that we need in 2009. GOOD Politics – Get Out Of Divisive Politics and GOOD Governance - Get Out Of Devious Governance.

Another thought that came to my mind was that though it is very difficult to get out of habits, it is only bad habits that we find difficult to get out of. Amazingly, it is equally difficult to get into good habits. Get HIGH, again – Get Headlong Into Good Habits! Last year, my attempts to get into pranayams a breathing technique, meditation, regular exercise, that I had learnt in the Siddha Samadhi Yoga - SSY program, have been partially successful. I have been regular – regularly irregular - the intensity of this regularity needs to increase, I mean. Like all beginnings, mine have been small too.

As I was leaving the SGNP on the 1st of January 2009, I could witness the first sunrise of the year. Did the Sun know that human beings had marked its movements to measure their own time, their days of the years? Was the sun equally enthusiastic and hopeful about its journey in the new year, as we were? Why would it, when it would do so for eternity? New years are only for us mortals, the fortunate, enlightened ones!