Tagged on "Feminism"!

I have been tagged by Mavin! 'Tagging' is a practice among fellow-bloggers and I am supposed to be writing a post on 'feminism'. “And make that funny too” he insists! “Siddhuism” or “Bushism” would have been a better choice for my kind of a blog. Whom can you trust to make life tough for you other than your own good old friend?

Even my regular dependable sites like Google-search and Wikipedia let me down. After downloading several gigabytes of information about the assigned topic, I have to admit that nothing described in those web pages was anything that I could much understand or relate to. Finally I decided to get some help from my old school friends and share their experiences in life. I invited Mr and Mrs Joshi, Mr. and Mrs. Bongerjee, Mr. and Mrs. Millio-Nair, Mr. and Mrs Parekh for lunch at our place.

“Mr. and Missayz Zoshi”, as they call themselves, were the first to arrive with a packet of Puranpolis, which Missayz Zoshi had so thoughtfully brought for my craving sweet tooth. After the customary greetings, my friend began discussing the latest developments on the Marathi manoos front. With both MNS and SS both taking up their cause, the dilemma was, whom to vhote?”

Then I posed the Question of the Day (QOTD),as they say on most TV channels:- “What are your thoughts and experiences of Feminism?”
“My wife subscribes” Mister Zoshi said.

I looked askance for some explanation. “You are talking about Faymina? Missayz loves it”, he asked. Then he bent forward and whispered in my ear: “I love the peeks, but I prefer to watch the peeks on the nate – that is safer, with my Missayz around”

Peaks? Nate? I wondered. Must be "Pics" on the "Net", I guessed!

Then I explained several issues like gender bias, discrimination for being a woman, equal opportunities, women’s rights, violence, harassment at workplace, rape and stuff like that, which I had gathered on the “nate” recently. But there was nothing that he could relate to. “We love our daughter more than our son. She gets all the attention and freedom and sometimes I wonder whether it is my son who is being discriminated against.”

Next to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Millio-Nair with a packet of Kela (Banana) Chips fried in pure coconut oil. After the customary greetings, I posed the QOTD to Millio-Nairs. “Hmmmm… I think I have seen that book… ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’, isn’t it? You know if I was to write that book, it would have been called “Men are in Gelf and Women have gone by Otto to the Jerj or Demble”

“I don’t believe in Mars, Venus and stuff like that, I will go back to the Gelf shortly so that my status of Millio-Nair continues and does not reduce me to an ordinary Nair”, he confirmed. He always had a great sense of humor, joking about himself, this good old friend of mine!

Then I explained what I already explained to the Joshis. “No No, I have no objection if my wife or daughter wants to werk or come to the Gelf with me ” he said vehemently. “Kerala has the highest literacy rate”
“Igwal Riots”, explained Mrs Millio-Nair. Riots? I was baffled!
Equal Rights, maybe, I guessed after some mulling.

Next to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Parekh with a packet of Undhiyoo. After the customary greetings, I posed the QOTD.
“Famine? Kaunsa Famine, dost? (Which Famine, Friend?) I have been advised to reduce my weight so I am geeming and also go for Mourning Wokes! I love your jokes, Gopi! You ask me about Famine!”

Then I explained ditto ditto ditto. “No discrimination, dost! My daughter also wants to go to Madical, like my son. I am encouraging my daughter also just like my son, I told her no problem - only she has to improve her Mammary!” Madical? Mammary?

Must be Medical and Memory, silly, I told myself!

The last to arrive were Mr. and Mrs. Bongerjee with a packet of home-made Gulab Jamuns.. Yes, you guessed right - after the customary greetings, I posed the QOTD.“If you say Communism, I can talk forever…but what is this Feminism, yaar?”

Yes, you guessed right – then I explained ditto ditto ditto...
Every time I explained what I read from my reliable Wikipedia, the lesser I understood it. Mr. Bongerjee was the only one who understood it, I thought., when he revealed, “I have never been to our kitchen and cooked”. “There you are” I thought – here was something we did not do and qualified for a mild act of feminism (incomparison with what is described in Wikipedia).

Never helping out in the kitchen!
“But why? Why” I asked eagerly.
“My bife has abhortion” explained Mr Bongerjee.
“Abortion?” “So sorry to hear” “When? I never knew" "Carried out Sex Determination Test?"
“What sex determination? She is having Abhortion – Abhortion for my cooked food – I used to cook – My mother had taught me and I loved to… but my bife does not allow me – she has abhortion for my cooked food…”
Finally it sunk in…he meant to say his wife had aversion for his cooked food!

Finally, it was my turn. I cleared my throat.“Hmmm….In my early days, I used to predominantly write gender-biased stuff like ‘he’ when ‘he/she’ was more like it. I would address letters to ‘The Chairman’ with ‘Dear Sir’. But over the years, I have changed my ways to Chairperson, and ‘The Chairperson’ and “Dear Sir/Madam”, when writing to institutions where I am not sure who the person really is.” “I need to write a post about the open manholes and now I am struggling to find the right gender-free word that they will understand! ‘Man’holes just wont do!

Blogger’ Post-Script

Last few days have demoralized Mumbaikars. So I thought I should work on this post nevertheless and try to cheer up my blog readers, even if in vain, I would make my sincere attempt.This post does not intend to offend anyone! However, if one is offended, do accept my apologies too!

As for the respect for and the privileges and rights of women in all walks of life, I am mostly in line with Mavin’s Post. Do read it here!

I always wanted a daughter and I am very happy to have one.
To learn more do read my earlier post “Daughters are forever”.

Just because one does not know what feminism is, does not mean one does not practice some or the other form of discrimination against women. It may not be a grave or brash act of the criminal kind. It could be just the belief that women cannot do something or shouldn’t get something that men or boys do.

I plead guilty to not cooking and not helping around with the household chores – just because somewhere at the back of my mind, men (read: I) think it is the job of womenfolk and that men (read: I) need not do it. I did not recognize this shortcoming of mine until I was tagged! Hopefully, this too may change for the better! Let me conclude this post by saluting all womenfolk for keeping the household going even in spite of pursuing careers, of late! If you do want to know more about Feminism on the Wikipedia. Read it here.

Oops! I almost forgot! I am supposed to be passing on the tag to someone! I would like Vinod K Sharma to write a post on Feminism, preferably with some insights on what our Female Politicians like Mayawati, Mamata, Jayalalitha and her likes have done for the cause of feminism and his own take on the subject.

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Anecdotes behind the colorful phrases

Of late, not a day passes without TV News about pink slips being handed out. If my last post delved into the various colorful phrases and an earlier post “In the Thick of Pink” had sort of predicted this deluge of pink slips in a way, what one may wonder now, is :-

“Why is it called the pink slip, anyway?”

The origin of ‘pink slip’ – A notice of termination
If youngsters thought it was a new phrase doing the rounds, think again. Pink Slip refers to an old practice which originated in the American Corporations, when personnel departments would hand over a ‘discharge notice’, notifying termination of employment or layoff in the pay envelope. The letter was printed on pink paper to distinguish it from other notices issued to employees. The practice was reported in the New York Times in 1910 by editors of the Random House Dictionary. So if you can see the term ‘pink slip’ will be celebrating its centenary in just two years in 2010. Perhaps we are preparing the celebrations already?!!

Some more interesting anecdotal origins of color phrases may interest you.
Origin of ‘Yellow Journalism’ – The practice of Sensationalizing news
The term originated when circulation battles between Joseph Pulitzer's New York World and William Randolph Hearst's New York Journal. peaked from 1895 to about 1898, when both papers were accused by critics of sensationalizing the news in order to drive up circulation, although the newspapers did serious reporting as well. The New York Press coined the term “yellow kid journalism” in early 1897 after a then-popular comic strip, “The Yellow Kid”, which was published by both during a circulation war. Later the term shortened to "yellow journalism"

Origin of ‘Red Tape’ – Bureaucratic delays in taking decisions
It is first noted in historical records in the 16th century, when Henry VIII besieged Pope Clement VII with around eighty or so petitions for the annulment of his marriage to Catherine of Aragon! It was referred to red tape - so its around for longer than 500 years!
It’s popularity soared when All American Civil War veterans' records were bound in red tape, and the difficulty in accessing them led to the current use of the term in its modern sense sometime before this. Havent you observed that red string used to tie up files before they get pushed from table to table in Government offices.
(I have had the opportunity (???) to chase such files)

Origin of ‘Green with envy’ – when becoming jealous of others
In some cultures, envy is often associated with the color green, as in "green with envy". The phrase "green-eyed monster" refers to an individual whose current actions appear motivated by envy. This is based on a line from Shakespeare's Othello. Shakespeare mentions it also in The Merchant of Venice when Portia states: "How all the other passions fleet to air, as doubtful thoughts and rash embraced despair and shuddering fear and green-eyed jealousy!"

Origin of ‘Once in a blue moon’ – a rare event
A blue moon is a name given to an irregularly timed full moon. Most years have twelve full moons which occur approximately monthly, but each calendar year contains those twelve full lunar cycles plus about eleven days to spare. The extra days accumulate, so that every two or three years there is an extra full moon (which happens every 2.72 years). The extra moon is called a "blue moon". The term blue moon is commonly used metaphorically to describe a rare event, as in the saying "once in a blue moon".

Origin of ‘the blues’ – the “down spirits’
The phrase "the blues" is a reference to the Blue Devils, meaning "down" spirits, melancholy, and sadness. An early reference to "the blues" can be found in George Colman's one act farce Blue devils in as early as 1798! It has been in modern use since 1912, when Hart Wand's "Dallas Blues" became the first copyrighted Blues composition. In lyrics the phrase is often used to describe a depressed mood.

Origin of ‘purple patch’ – an unusually good time of outstanding achievement
The term purple patch is also used in a more general, and more unequivocally positive, sense to refer to a period of outstanding achievement. This usage is particularly common in sporting contexts: for example, a footballer who had scored in six successive games might be said to be "enjoying a purple patch". Like Yuvraj Singh has been experiencing in the on-going India-England ODI series.

Nothing new, isnt it?
Source: Wikipedia

Blogger's Post-Script: Late edition addition: My article "Biometric Possibilities - Bite the Bullet has appeared in the Times of India Edit Page on 24/11/2008.
Click on this link to read it

English - A Colorful Language

The Talk of the Town - Nana Chudasama's message at Churchgate, Mumbai reads:
"Congratulations from us to US for a colorful victory"

It is believed that Obama's colorful victory was not a bolt from the blue but a carefully planned strategic one.

Some of my friends, who had passed their exams with flying colors, tried for a white-collared jobs, some took up a blue-collared job , while some others migrated to the US to earn greenbacks , but are now facing the prospect of pink slips . One such acquaintance cited an incident in his blog, about his colleague, who saw red , when another colleague mentioned that there was a black hole in their office! Though reference was to the frequent missing documents in office, an Afro-American colleague, took offence to being referred to as ‘black’, thinking it was directed to them.

Elementary Physics has taught us that white is a combination of all colors and black is in fact the absence of colors. But one does not understand why “whites” call “blacks”, “colored”?

Indeed it is a grey area that sets my grey cells into action!

Do read this interesting poem written by an African Child!

Back home, newspapers report several instances of red tape in offices, with the obvious intent to amass black money. Several such black deeds of greedy members of society, brings wealth and often impresses neighbors, who turn green with envy . But soon enough the illgotten money is wasted away in vices like drinking after which one sees pink elephants . This meteoric rise invites the attention of investigation agencies and income tax authorities.

These officials then try to catch the culprits red-handed . Often suspects tell a white lie to get away. Blackmailers then try to exploit the situation, if they have access to some dark secrets of such individuals. The Police who is beckoned to get hold of the blackmailer, beat him black and blue , to get the truth out. Some television channels then beam the story of Police brutality repeatedly, blowing the story out of proportion. Talk shows on competitor’s channels then call this kind of sensational reporting yellow journalism and condemn such news agencies and want them blacklisted. Politicians get away with setting up projects, arrive to a red carpet welcome to inaugurate them.

Such projects later prove to be white elephants .
Controversy erupts and the parliament then demands a white paper


Media interviews colorful personalities such as cricketers who have hit a purple patch and newspapers feature articles of wellness, which guide readers how to keep in the pink of health and how to drive away your blues .

English is indeed a colorful language! I just wanted to put my thoughts in black and white. I hope it will be red all over ... oops...read all over. After all, such posts appear only once in a blue moon! .

Blogger's Post-Script
This post is also on a special request from Priyank Thatte a fellow-blogger, who backpacks all round the world and captures the colors of nature in his camera and puts them up on his blog with some superb travel experiences shared for our benefit. I have blogrolled him!

Take Care, Friends!

Today is the World Day of Remembrance for Traffic Victims observed the world over on the third Sunday of November each year as endorsed by the United Nations.

On this occasion, in public interest, please read my serious post in my other blog link below:

Take Care!

For some weekend fun, read my last post "Barack Dance" if you havent read it already!

Barack Dance!

A Dance academy board said “Learn Barack Dance”

Last week it was Palin Dosa. This week, would I get a glimpse of ‘Barack Dance’? Before the world began to dance to his tunes, our locals had already caught up with the latest trend in dancing, one wondered? Curious to know what it was all about, I rang the bell and a thin, dark, tall guy in his mid-twenties opened the door. “Learn Barrrack Dance?” he asked.

“Just give me a demonstration so that I can decide”, I replied.
He began his gyrations and jerks as realization dawned on me – it was what I knew to be the same old Break Dance!

“No, thanks”, I said. As I turned to go, he made another offer: “How about Heap Hope?”

Barrack Obama had won the election on heaps of hope, for sure. So would there be something to hold my interest here, I wondered? Knowing his tendencies, I soon enough guessed he was talking about “Hip-Hop”!

I hurried away before he could hold me by my Taang (legs) and offer me some “Taaango” (Tango) or “Balle-Balle Ballet” as a fusion dance.

Our local guys sure know how to be in step with the world and keep up with the times!

A new Phobia
While working on my last post, I came across a new phobia - AIBOHPHOBIA – The fear of palindromes! But then who would be afraid of palindromes?

You would be more certain to find many people who love them. Considering that all philias are converted from phobias.

Would that not be AILIHPHILIA – The obsessive love for Palindromes?

Blogger's Post-script: How about some more word play in my future posts?

About Palindromes

In the comments section of my last post, Palin Talk, my old friend and fellow-blogger Mavin mentioned Palindromes in a Limerick which he so wonderfully produced instantly, which goes as below:

Long years back I learnt about the Palin-drome,
Whilst whiling away time at the aero-drome,
Later in life, I heard about Palin the dish,
Who had our dear Vinod in a swish,
It was later diagnosed as Gullible Sheep syn-drome.
:-)

What followed was a word play of anagrams, limericks and the like between fellow bloggers Mavin and Vinod Sharma!

I was fascinated by palindromes even when I was in college in the late 70’s. In fact my first published article titled “A way with words” in the Free Press Journal was all about wordplay such as palindromes, anagrams and lipograms.

If you thought Palindromes were some kind of private aerodrome for Sarah Palin, its not. Palindromes are words, sentences, paragraphs or numbers which, if read backwards are the just the same as when they are read forwards.

Nitin and Nayan, my friends in school had a penchant for palindromes ever since they learnt that their names were palindromes too. We had gathered quite a few in those Google-less days: Madam, malayalam, civic, level, radar, rotor were early palindromes we had in our list already.

One of the earliest palindromes possible was if Adam would have said to Eve:
"Madam, in Eden, I'm Adam". With this we had graduated to palindrome sentences. Was English the language Adam spoke? One wonders.

The historic utterance attributed to Napoleon upon the sighting of Elba, the island where the British had sent him to exile was the first palindrome we collected:
“Able was I, ere I saw Elba” , he is reported to have said.
Since he was a Frenchman, I wonder who translated it to this amazing palindrome?

The phenomenal feat of the construction of the Panama Canal gave us another popular palindrome that was next in our list:
“A man, a plan, a canal, Panama”
A fitting tribute to a great constructive work!

Next we learnt about this one:
“Straw? No. Too stupid a fad. I put soot on warts”

Dammit, I’m mad! With the advent of internet, Google Search, Wikipedia and such tools, why do I have to list them here? Read the entire list of palindromes here.

Our search for the longest palindrome ended with an article in the newspapers about the the longest palindrome, by Georges Perec, a treatise on palindromes, in French which had 9691 words published in 1969!

Georges Perec, member of the Paris OULIPO group (Workshop of Potential Literature), wrote a long piece of palindrome prose in 1969, consisting of 9691 words. The word 'palindrome' appears in the first sentence, and consequently, its reversal in the last. This is the first in a series of meta-palindromes (or, palindromes of the palindrome) by various authors.
Beginning and end read:
"Trace l'inégal palindrome. Neige. Bagatelle, dira Hercule. Le brut repentir, cet écrit né Perec. L'arc lu pèse trop, lis à vice versa. Perte. Cerise d'une vérité banale, le Malstrom, Alep, mort édulcoré, crêpe porté de ce désir brisé d'un iota" ...
...
"À toi, nu désir brisé, décédé, trope percée, roc lu. Détrompe-là. Morts : l'âme, l'élan abêti, revenu. Désire ce trépas rêvé : si va ! S'il porte, sépulcral, ce repentir, cet écrit me perturbe le lucre : Haridelle, ta gabegie ne mord ni la plage ni l'écart."

Georges Perec is also the author of a 300-page French Novel “La Disparition”, without using the popular vowel ‘e’ ever! Such a composition is called a lipogram. Amazing Frenchman this!

Thanks, Mavin and Vinod for taking me down memory lane, with anagrams, palindromes, limericks once again! Nostalgia indeed!
Now that is not a new drug variant of analgin for my nostrils!

Palin Talk

“Sprite bujhaye only pyaas! Seedhi Baat - No Bakwas” claimed ads of Sprite, a soft drink in India. Hindi for ‘Sprite only quenches thirst - Plain Talk No hogwash’. This revolutionary soft drink advertisement promoted plain talk more than the drink itself, one would imagine. I enjoyed this take on the tall claims made by competitors through their ad campaigns and liked the refreshing ad as much as the refreshing soft drink and the refreshing new idea of plain talk.

But alas, even this soft drink has stopped quenching only thirst and has started “ Sprite Express - Ghumo, Ghumao!” Who needs a soft drink to Ghumo Ghumao? Is it not the prerogative of our local politicians to do that? Advertisements can baffle as much as they can entertain.

If you havent seen the ad, Watch the Video here.

You may be familiar with the surrogate ads of hard-hitting liquor drinks, which are otherwise not allowed to walk down the advertisement ramps unless they disguise themselves to be some music cassette or rock band or some holiday package,apple juice or life-saving nectar. So they appear in a tribal costume dancing to the taal (beat) of drums and making Taal Claims of their products-parading-incognito. Tall Claims, I mean.

Of late, ad campaigns have been hijacked by competitors. As in a recent campaign that had attempted to build suspense and curiosity by declaring “See you at Home Soon”, without revealing the product being advertised. BIG Rivals being a BIG time Industry house was also BIG time into corporate spying. Reliance BIG hijacked their theme by advertising their product was at home with all their BIG features to boast of. Everything about the product would be BIG, one was convinced. We shall see a BIG shake-out in the DTH (Direct-to-Home) TV business. The consumer must also be prepared for BIG discounts and some BIG disappointments if promises are not kept or services are not upto their BIG expectations.

But hijacking is not restricted to advertisements. Political parties are now claiming that their hard hitting manifestos (or the very purpose of their existence) are also prey to hijacking. The ‘original’ tiger cub, Uddhav says so in an interview to the Mumbai Mirror, recently. He says it is a remake like Sholay!

But hasn’t Raj roared louder, hogged prime-time national channels and front pages of national newspapers with the very same agenda? Has he not ushered in the competition to the claim for the real Grand Savior of Marathi (hereafter referred to as GSM)? One cannot rule out more claimants of GSM from all parties present and future in the times to come!

Now hold it! I cannot be hijacking my blogpost from being a humor blog to a political blog and speculate on who the GSM would be and have fellow bloggers committed to political blogs fretting and fuming for infringing into their domain and let down my readers who wait for their regular dose of rib-tickling humor. I cannot let this happen. It’s my blog! I may not know who owns Mumbai, but I certainly know who owns this blog - Me!

So let me share a futuristic joke I heard from a chaste Marathi Manoos, while travelling in a BEST Bus yesterday , which goes thus (translated from Marathi) :-
“Time came when the Grand Savior of Marathi (GSM) had become very powerful and no foreign investment could be made without his blessing. The head honchos of several foreign companies lined up at His office. One such foreign industrialist invited him out to a Multi-Star Hotel for Lunch. This MNC hotel served exotic food from Italy, Bangkok, Korea, Lebanon, Japan and Singapore. Sigh, but none from Kolhapur. When asked what he would have, GSM promptly replied in Marathi, “Kombdi”. The Chef, an enlightened soul, had known of the primary rule of learning Marathi equivalents to dish it out in Marathi and thankfully knew that “Kombdi” meant Chicken.

When the dish arrived, GSM found some extraneous meat other than the “Kombdi” in his dish! Having heard of the habits of over-zealous Far-easterners of adding some forbidden meats as garnishing, he declared further:
“Fakkta Kombdi!”

The poor chef had not heard of this before and went shouting into the kitchen repeating what he had uttered! The Sous Chef, also a foreigner, replied, “I have killed it, removed its feathers, cleaned it and also grilled it thoroughly.
How in hell do I now F**K THE KOMBDI?”

Moral of the Story: If you want to be in Maharashtra, learn proper Marathi, guys!

After this incident, would the mighty GSM change his long standing slogan “Fakkta Marathi”, meaning “Only Marathi!”, to protect its pride from the wild mis-interpretation of outsiders? One wonders.

If this post is about slogans, adlines, hijack, change, advertising, political manifestos,why is this post titled “Palin Talk” if it has nothing to do with Sarah Palin? Is this another hijack? No, sorry, it is only a typo. It should have been ‘Plain Talk'. Like ‘Palin Dosa’ served in a Mysore Restaurant - the board should have been saying ‘Plain Dosa’. If you want foreign tourists to come visiting, learn what they would like to have! I just learnt from them.

Seeing is Believing: Palin Dosa Board
(Times of India Page 7 dated 02.11.2008)


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