My Internet Chat with Ganapati Bappa!

I have been spending several hours with my laptop ever since I have begun to write with a renewed vigor early this year.
My daughter tells me that I am addicted!
My learned friend tells me that I have become a mouse potato!

“A mouse potato? What’s that?’, I ask.

“If you know that a ‘couch potato’ is one who slouches in his couch and watches Television all day, it would not be easy to understand ‘mouse potato’ – it is a person who spends a considerable amount of time with his computer!”

Indeed, in an effort to become Somebody, I have become a mouse potato!

Anyway, let me get on with my post.
The Ganapati Visarjan on Anant Chaturdashi, which ends the ten day festivities of Ganesh Chaturthi, celebrated with much fanfare in the state of Maharashtra, is a spectacular event.

A week later, I was surfing the net for some information, as I always do, when my Messenger flashed a Message:

“Ganapati Bappa is now online”
[Bappa, Marathi for Uncle]

Me: “My Pranams to you, Ganapati Bappa!” I typed in and waited.
Ganapati Bappa (GB): “Hi”, the reply came in!
Me: “Great pleasure, Ganapati Bappa! Nice to have you online ”
GB: “Wassup?”
Me: “Wow! You’re so modern!”
GB: “Oh, well, I come down so often .. that’s how the kids greet each other, isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes, I was just google-searching for some information”
GB: “Oh Google-searching, nice way to spread knowledge and information. This year the IT folks even sung the ‘Google Aarti’ after my Aarti, - I understand how it is!”

Me: “Bappa, some newspapers reported that in the effort to make idols eco-friendly, you have had to slim lately….”
GB: “Oh, how I would love to…you guys in Maharashtra are so innovative! Make me eco-friendly. If I need to slim down, so be it… I am game. No Plaster of Paris or toxic chemicals to make me look bright.Not good for the environment. I want my bhakts (devotees) to live in a clean environment”

Me: “I wonder how you react to the music in you pandals (enclosures)…”
GB: “I love to hear all those songs in praise of my virtues. But people should also have concern for the residents living near the pandal and reduce the decibel level of the blaring sound system. I am not hard of hearing, I love soft music. A lower volume would serve us all very well. I do not desire to be a cause of nuisance to the old and infirm senior citizens due to the blaring music systems!”

Me: “What about the filmy songs that follow…how do you react to that?”
GB: “Well…Hmmm… If I am with you for ten days, I have to bear with some of your nonsense, don’t I? This year it was ‘Touch me, Touch me, Touch me’”

I just got the urge to log off. I just hoped Bappa was not angry –he would vent out his ire on me…. But stayed on…

Me: “Don’t you feel offended when such songs are belted out at some pandals?”
GB: “ Well…… I have my senses under control. My rat will not stray! So should all of my bhakts. Do not get distracted by songs or by gutkha ads at my pandal”



(The rat sitting obediently signifies control over your emotions and senses)




Me: “Indeed, Ganapati Bappa, you are so much in control and we need to learn from you”.



GB: “Then there was this song ‘Appu Cant Dance’…”

I was confused and did not know how to react!
GB: “I think they were trying to tease me because I can’t dance”

I remained Silent again. There was no place to hide from the Almighty!

GB: “They call an elephant ‘Appu’, isn’t it?”

I thought hard what was it that our Dear Ganapati Bappa was annoyed with? That Appu couldn’t dance? Oh wait a minute I thought…tried to get the words right. Hey, It was not ‘Appu’ but ‘Pappu’ I concluded!
Me: “That’s Pappu – not Appu, our beloved Bappa! The song talks of Pappu…”, I typed in excitedly.
GB: “Who Pappu?”
Me: “Some Pappu …maybe the Pappu, who passes the exams and Amitabh Bacchan dances and distributes Cadbury Chocolates… I don’t know…”
GB: “Oh, I thought they were trying to tease me and elephants that we cant dance and that my slimming down was not quite enough?”
Me: “Not at all, Bappa! Not at all”
GB; “Appu can dance! Who says Elephants can’t Dance? Haven’t you read the book by Louis V. Gerstner Jr?
Me: “Of course, Yes… that was in reference to the Global Mega Corporation, IBM.”
GB: “India is also being referred to as Elephant, just as China is being called ‘Dragon’”

I was amazed with His knowledge of current affairs, but it would be foolish to show my surprise that the God of Wisdom and Learning knows! He who had broken learnt to write with His broken tusk.... Of course, He would know!
GB: “Elephants can certainly dance… and India will dance… some years hence it will be time to write a book ‘The Elephant Does Dance’ and the elephant in this book would be referring to India!”

With these blessings from Ganapati Bappa for all Indians, I typed in my goodbye message.
Me: “Ganapati Bappa Morya! Pudhchya Varshi Lavkar Ya!”

[Marathi for ‘Ganapati Uncle be praised! Next year, do come early!’]
A customary way we Maharashtrian folk hail the Harbinger of good times, the Remover of obstacles, the Elephant-faced God so Dear to our hearts!
I continue to pray that mankind does take heed of Dear Ganapati Bappa's messages to us in the chat with me!

Bloggers Post Script:

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